W
hen trouble comes in my house as sometimes they do, leaking kitchen faucets is probably my most hated problem of all. How many times I have attempted to repair a plumbing problem on my own but I simply do not have the skill to make my own troubleshooting.
It is during this upsetting situation that makes me wish to God for a man to come into my life so I will have an instant handyman ready to fix my dripping kitchen faucet – anytime.
oOo
(mag-ama naguusap)
Tatay: “sawang-sawa na ako sayo.. paulit ulit ka na lang dito.. huling exam mo na to… at pag bumagsak ka parin dito wag na wag mo na akong tatawaging tatay at hindi na kita anak.”
Anak: “cge ho tay!”
(matapos ang exam)
Tatay: “oh.. kamusta ang exam?”
Anak: “ayus lang dude!”
oOo
In a court, the prosecutor dropped all cases against the accused. The prosecutor remarked that would be impossible for a woman with a six-inch nose to give a blow job to a man with a three-inch dick!
oOo
Crazy Fact:
The biggest seller today is COOKBOOKS and the second is DIET books.
The latter advise you how not to eat what you have just learned how to cook.
oOo
Reproductive Health Bill, inspires DOH slogan :
” Wag Magpaputok! ”
oOo
A kid stunned his parents when he emptied his pockets of coins and money bills. Finally his mother asks, “Where did you get all that money?”
“At the church,” the boy said, “they have boxes of em!”
oOo
Ang PUSO maraming laman,
may dugo, may ugat,
may muscle, at marami pang iba.
Pero alam mo ba kung anong laman ng puso ko?
YUN DIN. Ano akala mo, ikaw? 
oOo
Written in a RESTAURANT. . . .
“All our waiters are married, they know how to take Orders!!!”
oOo
MAID: “Pads, ayaw magsindi ng stove nyo..
PARI: Inday, matagal ka nang ngtatrabaho dito sa kumbento, iisang pamilya na tayo… Kaya wag mo ng sasabihing STOVE NYO, PLANTSA NYO, BALDE NYO.. .atin lahat mga gamit dito…sabihin mo ATING stove, ok?”
MAID: “Opo pads!”
(dumalaw ang obispo sa pari..)
Tumakbo si Inday papunta sa kanila..
MAID: “Pads, Pads! May daga sa loob ng ATING kwarto, pumasok sa ilalim ng ATING kama!”
PARI: SHAAADAAP!!!
Galing Gmail ko…
Guitar, for sale……. Cheap………no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight … One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking…
I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses….
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick…
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Of.
Sign In A Bar:
‘Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.’
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don’t Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.
Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber’s Saloon In Detroit:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
oOo
I am supposed to give Keziah her first digicam last Christmas as my gift. She’s been wishing to own that kind of gadget for a year. I know she wants to satisfy her enthusiasm in point-and-shoot photography not to mention the intention to have unlimited cam-whoring with her classmates during weekend. Well, sorry daughter, even though prices of digital cameras last month have come down, Mama wasn’t able to manage well her Christmas budget. Maybe some other time, dear. Promise.
I like staring at his pics. I know he is far from the most handsome guy. Nevertheless, I still like him. He dresses very well especially in suits, in casual jeans and even to wearing breeches. I dig his simplicity and being less fussy when it comes to fashion. I think I’m having a crush on him already and I don’t mind if he is getting married this coming April. My crush? His name was Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, better known as Prince Wills to the rest of the world.
mga eksena na tumutulo na ang luha nung cutiepie na bidang lalaki. Ewan ko ba, lembot na lembot ang puso ko pag nakakakita ng umiiyak na hombre. Punong-puno ng emosyon ang istorya ng dalawang lekat na pagmamahalan. Kakabilib din naman kasi ang love nila para sa isa’t isa.
- 500 grams pork kasim, sliced thinly
Marinade:
- 1 tbsps. coarse salt
- 6 tbsps. white sugar
- 3 tbsps. achuete seeds dissolved in 3 tablespoons hot water, strained.
- 1/4 cup oil
Procedure:
1. Combine sliced pork with salt, white sugar and strained achuete water. Mix using your hands to incorporate marinade into the meat.
2. Marinate for 24 hours to allow flavors to fully coat the tocino mix.
3. Heat oil in a skillet.
4. Lay down the tocino strips in the skillet and cook until pork changes color.
5. Rub the tocino into the skillet to caramelize it, moving the pan regularly to prevent the tocino from burning, about 5 minutes. Tocino is cooked when the marinade starts to coat each pork strip and it starts to brown.
6. Serve with a dipping sauce of vinegar.
(Recipe Source: TIMPLA Cookbook)
oOo
Sa commercial ni Krissy…
Kris: “Bimby, Can I Crack your egg?”
Baby James: “mommy, be careful.”
oOo
Nasa bundok ka, nahulog cellfone mo at asawa mo, anong gagawin mo?
Magpakatotoo ka, sagipin mo cell mo at isigaw mo sa asawa mo na…” text na lang kitaaa!”
oOo
A parsimonious Chinese in a taxi travelling down a steep hill when suddenly the driver said, “Patay! Wala taung brake!”
The Chinese yells back, “PUTAAA! Hinto muna metlo!”
oOo
Dear God,
All I ask for the New Year is…
“A FAT WALLET AND A THIN BODY”.
Please do not mix them up like you did last year!
oOO
Pagkatapos ng reception sa kasal…
Bride: “Hon, nakaligo na ko.”
Groom: “Mabuti naman!”
Bride: “Tulog na tayo!”
Groom: “Sige! Tara na!”
Bride: “Wala na akong panty…”
Groom: “Ha?! Paano nangyari yun eh tatlong dosena yung ineregalo ko sayo ah?!”
oOo
Pagnakita mo “Ex” mo na may kahalikang iba, ganito gawin mo.
Panoorin mo sila at hintayin matapos. Kapag nakita ka nila, sabihin mo: “Galing humalik ng Ex” ko noh? Ako nagturo jan!”
We Filipinos are music-lovers and we simply love singing karaoke songs. (Though I admit am not really a huge fan of karaoke.)
Whether it is birthday parties, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year, family and friend reunions, and any other sort of gatherings, karaoke is the best way for us to come together and have fun! However, I wish our neighbor here in my place be sensitive enough not to put the volume of their sound system in full, stop their karaoke concert before midnight, and be considerate to neighbors like us who are early sleepers.
Tenkyu Lord at kahit papano ay hindi uso dito sa probinsya ko ang karneng BOTCHA.
Botcha – mga double dead na karne na binebenta pa rin ng mga walang konsensyang negosyante para lang maka-kwarta. Tuwing napapanood ko sa TV ang mga nasabat na botcha sa palengke lalo na sa Luzon, nagtatayuan ang kuwan ko… mga balahibo.
Kaya ako, hindi ako bumibili ng karne sa palengke. Doon ako bumibili sa mall o kaya sa mga meatshop na kahit papano eh kilala. Tumigil na rin ako bumili ng mga komersyal na longganisa at tosino. Mahirap na at baka botcha ang karneng ginamit dun…hirap pa naman ma-detect kasi may pampakulay na silang inihahalo dun.
Ang diskarte ko? Gumagawa na lang ako ng homemade longganisa at tocino para iwas-botcha. Mabuti na ang nakakasiguro. Bukod sa mas nakakamura ako, mas lesser pa ang taba at alat ng homemade longganisa ko. Isa sa mga resolutions ko kasi ang mas bawasan pa ang salt at sugar sa mga nilalamon ko. 
Share ko sa inyo ang napaka-simple recipe. (Recipe Source: TIMPLA Cookbook)
Walang pampakulay at mga kasamang preservatives ek-ek na inihahalo. Sobrang napakadali lang. Wax paper lang ang madalas kong gamitin pambalot, Minsan naman pag tinatamad ako…hindi ko na sya binabalot para longganisang-hubad ang dating. Para mas sexy. Hehe! Minsan naman piniprito ko sya na parang mga bola-bola….para maiba naman ang porma ng longganisa.
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