SMS Jokes 2011-171

About every 15 seconds or so, he put the book down, gripped the toilet seat with his left hand and hit himself on top of his head with his right hand.
His mother said, "Billy, are you all right? You’ve been in here for a while."
Billy said, "I’m fine, Mommy. I just haven’t gone potty yet."
His mother said, "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy

BILLY SAID: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP.”

 

oOo

** The following SMS Jokes  – courtesy of MIKE.

 

Pare1: “nasunog daw bahay nyo pre?”
"Pare2: “o nga malas.. “
Pare1: “saan nag umpisa ang sunog?”
Pare2: “sa manok…”
Pare1: “huh? Paano?”
Pare2: “sabi ng  bombero..”
POULTRY WiRiNG!

oOo

Knowledge Power: 

Kuya Kim, pare pareho po ba ang timbang ng mga pekpek matambok man o hindi?
Sagot ni Kuya Kim: “Pareho lahat yan. TIG IISANG GUHIT LANG…”

oOo

Neri talks.
Abalos goes to jail.
GMA commits suicide.
Mercedita resigns.
Ping surrenders.
FG goes…

Watch the reports now on WISH KO LANG at Channel 7. :-D

oOo

A wife smacks her husband. He was dumbfounded and asks, "What was that for?"
Wife replied, "Because you are a bad fuck."
Couple of minutes later, man smacks ěs wife. This time, the wife was confused and asks, "May I ask what’s that for?"
He said, "Simple, because you know the difference."

oOo

Q: Why does a dick have a hole in the end of it?
.
.
.
.
.
A: So men can be open-minded.

oOo

The Earth weighs 6.6 septillion tons.
Don’t make it heavier by being fat.
Don’t eat rice.
Just vegetables and water. Be sexy!

oOo

Golden Words:
Love is the Sixth Sense which destroy all the Five Senses and You become Nonsense!

oOo

Trust GOD!
HE will never give you anything you can’t handle. . .
Except. . .
a WIFE!

oOo

An undertaker came home with a black eye. "What happened?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied the man. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn’t get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to break it in half."
"I see," said the wife, "but how did you get the black eye?"
Undertaker replied, "Wrong room."

oOo

Para
makatulog ka
nang maayos ngayongng gabi
Wag mong
kalimutang…

PUMIKIT!

oOo

Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign – Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.

oOo

 

 

Life is just like a great book. The further you get into it, the more it makes sense. Live your life to the fullest!

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