SMS Jokes 2011-187

"HAPDI"
Yan ang tawag pag pumasok ka ng kalahating araw sa school o sa work.
"Sir/mam, pwde po ba mag HAPDI?" 

There will be less scandals in Catholic churches next year.. .
If Priests and Bishops are allowed to use condoms.

A NEGATIVE person sees the glass of water half empty. . .
A POSITIVE persons sees it half full. . .
But a REALISTIC person adds 100 ml of Whiskey to it and says. . . CHEERS!

One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."

TEACHER: “Billy, stop making faces.”
BILLY: “Why??”
TEACHER: “Well, when I was your age, I was told that if I kept making ugly faces, my face would stay that way.”
BILLY: “Well, I can see you didn’t listen!”

A man came up and shook my hands and asked how my sex life was.
I told him, "You are shaking hands with it."

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    Vintage Bra

    Mga mare, meron ba kayo neto? O kaya nakapagsuot man lang?

    Ako? Sorry, Britney Spears na kasi ang generation na kinabilangan ko kaya hindi ko na-experience ang makapag-suot ng ganitong kalumang sinturon pang-kaligtasan para sa boobs. Lol!

    vintage bra3

    Kalurkey! This reminds me of my late mother dear. Tandang-tanda ko pa ang mga vintage bra kasi ganito lahat ang style na suot-suot niya. Ang tulis!

    Kelangan lisensyado, mga ateng!

    Josko! Pag nagsuot ako neto ngayon…hindi naman kaya hanapan ako ng lisensya? License to wear deadly weapon!

    May nagsusuot pa ba ng ganitong bra ngayon?

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    Thieves Target: Middle Class

    I just read this at the UK’s Daily Mail news online this morning: Middle class and semi-detached houses are now the favorite target for thieves.

    Burglars are no longer eyeing the properties of the posh people in London because according to them, their valuables are more difficult to find because of too many rooms they have in their house. Hmnn…talk about laziness of the those thieves. Lol!

    As one burglar said: “There’s no point in going for rich houses because they’ve only got the same stuff as ordinary houses, but it’s harder to find because there are more rooms and they have better security.” Makes sense to me.

    If that is so, perhaps it’s high time for owners of the middle class houses to be cautious and better install reliable home automation for more security. Well, better safe than sorry.

    Sensa

    summertanAs Holy Week approaches, the pressure to reduce weight and be sexy is on. Many for sure will spend their Holy Week at the beach. I just hope that those ladies who struggle to look good on their bikini will not resort to drastic move of taking unsafe weight loss supplements.

    Speaking of diet supplements, Sensa is one of the popular that gathered media attention. Some say that sensa is a weight loss scam, others says it is not effective. Well, it is not really for me to tell. I think I will just let Sensa users tell about the truth and its effectiveness.

    For Motorcycle Riders

    motorcycle accident I understand why men preferred motorcycle as their choice of transport in commuting to work. For one, a motorcycle is the ideal way to beat traffic jam especially in big cities of Metro Manila. However, with more and more cars hitting the roads every day, inexperienced drivers, road rage and confusing road layouts, it is inevitable that accidents will happen.

    If you have been involved in an accident and have further questions about damages, consult a personal injury attorney who handles motorcycle cases immediately. You need lawyers (lawyers such as personal injury attorneys tucson of Arizona). I just don’t know how many personal injury lawyers we have here in the Philippines. But it is really wise to leave the legal matters to a professional who can make your claims easier.

    Summer Time Again

    summertime Weeks more to go and officially it is summer time. Beach time again, baby! I know lots of women are in pressure now to get that slim and sexy body fast before hitting the beach! And maybe some are into shopping already not only with the latest fashionable swimwear, but also in search for the best diet supplements to go with their loss weight program.

    Well, whatever you do, the sky’s the limit when it comes to summer vacation. And remember, it is VACATION. So just relax, laugh a lot and have fun!

    Wall Mounted TV

    wall mounted tv We have two televisions set here at home. One is Samsung LCD flat screen TV acquired through the genuine kindness of Kups, and the other one is a hand me down 21-inch JVC TV set from my brother Evan, given to me two years ago. Nope, the hand-me-down TV is not a flat TV. It is an old CRT TV. Well, how I wish it is a flat one so I can easily position the unit in my bedroom using ceiling tv mounts. If only I have my way, I really prefer to position the old CRT television attached to the wall for two reasons: one, to save bedroom floor space and two, for me to have a better viewing potential while lying on bed.

    Monday Merienda: Puto

    Last week pa nagtapos ang klase ng mga bagets ko. Umpisa na ng bakasyon nila, umpisa na ng mga pa chill-chill at maghapon na pakuya-kuyakoy kung hindi man sa harap ng tv, tiyak sa harap ng computer.

    Kelangan ko na naman magkaroon ng idea ng sari-saring pang meryenda na pwedeng lutuin sa kusina kasi tiyak maghahanap ng makakain ang mga amo ko.

    Naisip ko ‘tong kakanin – PUTO. Napakadali lang kasi gawin.

    Puto_4

    Puto

    Imbes na rice flour, all-purpose flour ang ginamit dito. Para sa akin, mas OK sya kasi mas malambot at mas fine ang texture ng puto.

    Ingredients:

    • 2 cups all-purpose flour
    • 2 tablespoons baking powder
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1 cup sugar
    • 1 cup evaporated milk
    • 1 cup water

    Preparation:

    1. Sift the flour with the baking powder and salt.
    2. Add the sugar, milk and water. Mix well making sure there are no lumps.
    3. Fill puto molds 3/4 full.
    4. Place uncovered in a preheated steamer and cook for 15 minutes or until risen and firm to the touch.
    5. Remove from steamer. Cool for a few minutes then unmold.

    Takes 25-30 minutes. Makes 18 pieces.

    Recipe Source: In Good Taste cookbook magazine

     

    oOo

    Sometimes, it can be painful when God comes in and rearrange our life. Have faith! God’s answers are wiser than our prayer.