7 Bagay Na Hindi Dapat Sini-share Sa BF

 

Ganun? Hmmmn..aber, ma-tsek nga. Ginagawa ko ba ang mga sumusunod o hindi?

1. Your Bodily Functions
shhhh

Yea, everybody farts. And everyone has to go poop. And shockingly, every person in the world has belched at one time or another. But men like to think of us as ladylike and feminine. After all, isnt that what attracts them to us in the first place? So dont give any raunchy details about your period or your stomach flu. Save all that for your diary!

*GUILTY

Utotera ako. Kasalanan ba yun? 🙁 Pero not in public place ha! Sorry pero hindi pwedeng hindi ko i-share yan sa bf ko lalo na pag kami lang dalawa. Hindi ako pwede magpigil. Love is sharing naman di ba? Anong unladylike ka diyan! Tse! Unladylike your scrotum! Hehe! Gross na kung gross! Bakit ba!

Impernes, kadalasan naman pag bumubuga ako eh wala naman amoy. Tsaka pag meron naman, ako na mismo ang naghahanap ng pamaypay at pinapaypayan ko yung tao sabay sabing “Wag mo amuyin! Wag mo amuyin! Wag mo amuyin! (repeat until fade..)” Ganun lang yun teh.

Tungkol naman sa monthly period, aysus, natural magsasabi ako. Haler! Wag siyang mag-inarte. Ang babae pa naman pag may PMS, halos walang kinatatakutan. Kelangan maging interesado ang bf ko na malaman ang tungkol sa period ko para alam nya kung kelan ako safe! *wink! At para mapag-isipan namin kung anong method ang diskarte pag meron. Wag na mag anu-ano pa, para din yun sa ikabubuti namin at sa ikauunlad ng bayan. Hehe!

2. Your Girlfriends Secrets

girl talk

This really is a no-brainer. Your friends confide in you and expect you to keep that confidence. After all, they do the same for you, right? So keep their trust intact. You have no idea how hard it is on a guy to hear us dish about all the latest gossip when all they want to do is rest after a long day. And if the secret you are telling is one of your close girlfriends who happens to have a boyfriend that your man sees everyday, it may be hard for him not to let it slip.

*GUILTY

Madaldal ako sa boypren ko. 🙁 Ang totoo, mas madali akong mag-open up sa lalaki kesa babae. So far wala naman akong naging problema sa pagsi-share ko sa bf kasi siguro nagkakataon din na mga tsismoso ang mga naging bf ko. Haha! Well, aminado ako, kelangan ko rin ang matuto na huwag masyado maging kampante sa pagsi-share sa lalaki dahil hindi rin lahat ng lalaki ay mapagkakatiwalaan.

3. Your Toothbrush

toothbrush

Yes, I know you kiss him and you both drink from the same glass occasionally. But we live in a civilized age and hygiene is a little more obvious now than it was 200 years ago. Toothbrushes only cost a few dollars. Buy your own!

*NOT GUILTY

Never ako naki-share ng toothbrush ng boypren ko. Hindi baleng hindi na ako mag-bras ng ipin. Pero may naging 2 ex-bf ako na nakigamit ng toothbrush ko noon. Umokey lang ako pero hindi ko na ginamit ulit ang totbras ko na hiniram nila. 😀

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Pagmamahal Na Walang Kundisyon

Kremo and I

Kremo and I

(Lumang kodak namin ng alaga ko. Year 2009.)

Gusto ko na ulit mag-alaga ng puppy. Nami-miss ko na ang kagaya ng Kremo ko, a japanese spitz. Shaks! Hindi ko akalain na mangungulila ako ng husto sa dati kong alaga noon. Ewan ko ba, meron talaga silang kakaibang klase ng pagmamahal na ibinibigay na hinding-hindi ko naramdaman sa mga kapwa kong demi-god. Charing!

Sa buhay natin, there are few people, if any, who truly love us unconditionally. Mahal tayo in spite of all our faults, all our failures, all our weaknesses, and with no strings attached. Jackpot talagang maituturing pag meron taong ganyan sa atin. Well, ganyan na ganyan ang pagmamahal ng aso. (Ganyan din kaya ang mga isinilang sa Year of the Dog? Chooos! Parinig! Lol!)

A dog loves you unconditionally. You can neglect him, and he loves you, turn your back on him, and he loves you, abuse him with words, or even physically; still mahal ka pa rin nya. Kahit dinededma mo na sya, pero lalapit pa rin sha at ishe-shembot pa rin nya ang buntot nya. Ibang klase talaga!

Maituturing na para syang si Lord. Hindi ko sinasabi na with matching shembot din si Lord ng buntot nya ha. Pero yung response nya is very similar. We turn our backs on Him, pero si Lord, nungka! We neglect His Word yet the Lord remains faithful. Walang duda, He is the same yesterday …today and forever. (Nasa Hebrews yan mga ning!)

A basta! Nami-miss ko ang aso ko. 🙁

Gusto mong matuto sa sinasabing pagmamahal na walang kundisyon? Subukan mo mag-alaga at magmahal ng aso.

Kung hindi ka pa nakapag-alaga ng aso sa buong buhay mo, malamang 100% nakanganga ka lang ngayon na nagbabasa neto at hindi maka-relate. Ahihi!

Have a nice ASH Wednesday, mortals!

2-5-2011 3-00-47 

oOo

A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.- Robert Wagner

To Be Six Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his  wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of her fave breakfast cereals, and then took her to a theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite  candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

oOo

Sometimes we hide our pain thinking we can get over it, but deep inside its hurting us even more

SMS Jokes 2011-177

Types of Men You Meet in Men’s Urinals
CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is hung.
SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to go or not.
INDIFFERENT: All urinals in used, pisses in the sink.
CLEVER: No hands, looks around and pisses on floor.
FRIVOLOUS: Plays streams up, down and across urinals, tries to hit bug or fly.
TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.
EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap and then does both.
DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
CONCEITED: Hold two inch dick like baseball bat.

PARI: "Dapat natin tulungan ang ating kapwa. Kung meron kang 100 manok, ipamimigay mo ba sa mahirap yon?"
JOSE: "Opo pader."
PARI: "E kung 200 manok?"
JOSE: "Opo pader."
PARI: "E kung 1 baboy?"
JOSE: "Hindi na po pader, may alaga po kasi akong isang baboy."

Maraming Daan!
Ely Soriano: Ang Dating Daan
I. N. K.: Ang Tamang Daan
PENOY: Ang Matuwid na Daan
Gen. Ligot: Di Ko Matandaan

NEWS FLASH!
Ghadafi agreed w/ d rebels 2 divide Libya so he can cling 2 power.
D country’s now divided into:
Libya Majora and Libya Minora.

After a quarrel, a wife said 2 her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it."

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