SMS Jokes 2011-182

In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers…NOW, they drink like their fathers!

WOMEN always worry about the things that men forget; Men always worry about the things women remember!

Sa akin ka nakahawak ng mahigpit, sa kanya ka naman nakatitig. – mouse, nagseselos kay monitor!

A Love Story "Text"
BOY: "Di ko na kaya ‘tong ginagawa mo sa kin. Lagi na lang! Sa lahat na lang nang sasabihin mo, nahihirapan ako. I’m sorry, I just can’t take it anymore. Sobrang pagod na akong intindihin ka." 🙁

GIRL: "BvHeiiB aNoUh bV4h 3An6 pN46xx4b1h mOuH?? di cKitAh mA1ntiNd1hAn! aNoUh bV4Ng NuAg4w4h QoUh x3oH!! bV4T k4h nKk1pAgbVr3Yk??

Gumimik sa mall ang 3 magkakaibigan:
JEPOY: "Shit! Ang ganda nung girl!"
JANGGO: "Sexy pa! Grabe!"
BOY: "Sino? Yung naka-mini skirt? Kilala ko sya! Teka, Tawagin ko ha……KUYAAAAAAAAA!"

    • How fast can you guess these words?
      1. BOO_S
      2. __NDOM
      3. F__K
      4. P_N_S
      5. PU_S_
      6. S_X

      Answers: 1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. PULSE 6. SIX ——You got all 6 wrong, didn’t you?

      FOR FACEBOOK ADDICTS

      Soon, wedding will look like this:
      Priest: Do you agree to change your Facebook status from single to married?
      Guy: Yes, Father.
      Gal: Yes, Father.
      Priest: You are now husband and wife. You may now poke the wife.

      Ladies keep three sizes of clothes in their closet. Normal days, bloated days, and "those were the days!"

      Why do women go to tanning salons? What a waste of money! Guys only want the white parts anyway!

      Why are fire trucks red in colour?

      Fire trucks have ladders, ladders have steps, steps are made by our foot, foot can be measured by a ruler, ruler can be a king or a queen, Elizabeth is a queen, Elizabeth is also a ship, ships sail on water, water has fishes, fishes have fins, fins are people of Finland and the national flag of Finland is red, so the fire trucks are also red in colour.

      Confidence is when your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you have the courage to wink at her and say, "You’re next!"

      "FUCK" is the only word which can be used to express many feelings:

      1. REVENGE — Fuck you!
      2. REQUEST — Please, fuck off!
      3. FAILURE — I’m fucked!
      4. ANXIETY — What the fuck is happening?
      5. ANGER — Get the fuck out of here!
      6. CURIOUS — How the fuck did you do that?
      7. PRIDE — I’m a fucking genius!
      8. VICTORY — I have won that fucking tournament!
      9. SADNESS — Why the fuck does this happen to me?

      ** All of the above fucking Jokes courtesy of KUPS!

      oOo

      One of the greatest things about having a relationship isn’t being in love, but falling in love over and over again.

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