M A R U I S M

Archive for 18 March, 2011

MARU | 18 March, 2011

SMS Jokes 2011-182

In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers…NOW, they drink like their fathers!

WOMEN always worry about the things that men forget; Men always worry about the things women remember!

“Sa akin ka nakahawak ng mahigpit, sa kanya ka naman nakatitig.” – mouse, nagseselos kay monitor!

A Love Story "Text"
BOY: "Di ko na kaya ‘tong ginagawa mo sa kin. Lagi na lang! Sa lahat na lang nang sasabihin mo, nahihirapan ako. I’m sorry, I just can’t take it anymore. Sobrang pagod na akong intindihin ka."

GIRL: "BvHeiiB aNoUh bV4h 3An6 pN46xx4b1h mOuH?? di cKitAh mA1ntiNd1hAn! aNoUh bV4Ng NuAg4w4h QoUh x3oH!! bV4T k4h nKk1pAgbVr3Yk??”

Gumimik sa mall ang 3 magkakaibigan:
JEPOY: "Shit! Ang ganda nung girl!"
JANGGO: "Sexy pa! Grabe!"
BOY: "Sino? Yung naka-mini skirt? Kilala ko sya! Teka, Tawagin ko ha……KUYAAAAAAAAA!"

MARU | 17 March, 2011

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Mula Sa Lupain Ko

Bago pa man tumigas at tuluyan maging niyog ang mga buko na nasa malawak na lupain ko (lupain talaga ha?), pina-harvest ko na sila sa isang utoy kong nebor.

Kaya naman bisi-bisihan sa pagkakayod ng mga bunga ang Mamaru kanina.

Sa dami ng ipinapitas ko, panay BJ ako kanina. (Buko juice po, wag kulot ang isip!) Halos ipinang-ligo ko na ang isang timba ng buko juice. Lol! At sa dami ng kinayod kong buko, kelangan gawin ko ‘to:

Hulaan nyo kung ano ang ginagawa ko sa kasalukuyan. Kunyari big deal sha! Haha! Chos!

Post ko bukas ang pinagkaabalahan ko ngayon sa mga buko na itey.

Category: Dessert & Sweets | Tags: Buko

MARU | 17 March, 2011

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FYI

—

LIKE A MONGKEHHH!

I’LL BE HANGIN’ ON FOR YOUR Red heart .

*artwork courtesy of Keziah

Category: Photography | Tags: ziah's artwork

MARU | 17 March, 2011

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SMS Jokes 2011-181

Sa taon-taong pananaliksik at pag-aaral, ang plural pala ng rice ay. . .
EXTRA RICE!

*SMS courtesy of Grashiela

MOTTOS:

”Time is Gold When Watching Bold.”
”Pag binato ka ng bato. . . Hithitin mo.”
”What is beauty if your KILIKILI is dirty.”
”Ang batang matanong ay bibo at ang matandang matanong ay bobo.”
”Ang taong pangit sa edit kumakapit.”

It takes 300 little silkworms to make a girl a pair of silk panties..
But it takes only 1 big worm, to persuade her to take off her panty..
tama ba?

SUPERTEXT?
SULITEXT?
ALLTEXT?
GAANTEXT?
UNLITEXT?
… pero may bago mas matipid pa.
.
.
.
.
.
.
PATEXT!

A man driving is pulled over by a police officer. The officer says, "I’d like to congratulate you. I’ve been following you for a while and your driving has been perfect. Congratulations!"
And the man replies, "Yeah, you’ve got to be careful when you’ve been drinking!"

During sex education class, the professor asks, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?"

A woman replies, "Probably golfing with his buddies."

Category: HUMOR, March 2011 | Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, SMS Jokes, tagalog jokes

MARU | 15 March, 2011

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SMS Jokes 2011-180

Nagbalikbayan ang anak ni Karyo after 20 years sa Amerika. Isang umaga, nag-uusap ang mag-ama:
Karyo: "John, marami akong ITINURO sa ating bagong maid."
John: "Dad, please speak in English!"
Karyo: "John, I fingered our new maid many times!"

A Filipino guy gets stopped by immigration at the airport. Immigration tells him to use "chicken not bread" in a sentence. The Filipino looks around, puts a bag over a woman’s head and yells, "Chee kennot bred! Chee kennot bred!"

Prince Charles at kulangot:
Si Prince Charles ay heir to the throne.
Ang kulangot ay thrown to the air!

Magaling na gitarista si Mang Juan. Lagi syang pinagkakaguluhan ng mga tao.
Tao 1: "Mang Juan, alam nyo ba yung Endless Love?"
Mang Juan: "Sige, kantahin mo, tutugtugin ko."
Tao 2: "Mang Juan, alam nyo ba yung My Way?"
Mang Juan: "Sige, kantahin mo, tutugtugin ko."

Napansin ng isang bata na labas ang bayag ni Mang Juan.
Bata: "Mang Juan, alam nyo ba labas ang betlog nyo?"
Mang Juan: "Sige, kantahin mo, tutugtugin ko!"

Category: HUMOR, March 2011 | Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes, tagalog jokes

MARU | 15 March, 2011

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Promise Ring

Promise ring - It is almost every woman’s wish who are in long, deep, serious relationship to be able to slip that ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. Promise ring, also known as engagement ring, most often with a diamond, is a symbol of two people’s love and commitment towards each other.

How much an engagement ring should cost?

Well, it has become an adage that an engagement ring should worth equal to two months of the man’s salary. Whew! Does it really have to cost like that? Poor boyfriend! Lol! Of course, it is just a myth.

While browsing those important pieces of jewelry at scott kay, suddenly I got a curious feeling. I wonder how it feels to wear something like that…a simple representation that, "I belong to somebody else" already. Hmnn…

Category: GENERAL, Task2Blog | Tags: engagement ring, promise ring

MARU | 15 March, 2011

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A Shutter

I have a bedroom that has lots of windows and it becomes a problem for me lately. There’s too much sunlight entering my room that sometimes I can no longer sleep well. A bedroom’s primary function is a place to rest. If the room’s lighting is too bright, then it is no longer conducive to sleep. I am thinking, maybe I have to install either plantation shutters or window blinds to prevent passing of too much light in my room.

Category: GENERAL, Task2Blog | Tags: shutter, window blinds

MARU | 15 March, 2011

8 comments

Sa Isang Iglap

Seeing images like this. . .

Devastating: A woman sobs on a road as she surveys the destroyed city of Natori in the region of Miyagi in northern Japan.

. . . makes me appreciate the most important thing in my life,

Laid waste: Huge swathes of land were destroyed when the tsunami hit Sendai in Miyagi province, sweeping away everything in its path.

. . . that me and my kids – are alive!

Screening: A mother tries to talk to her daughter who had been isolated for signs of radiation after evacuating from the vicinity of Fukushima's nuclear plants.

She then drops down to talk to the family dog.

*Via: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

Time to be good na talaga. Time to be more loving. Time to have sex. (Joke!) Time to live a simpler life.

With all the material possesion that we have, kahit pa pinaghandaan at pinaka-iingatan mo pa yan, ipagkatago-tago mo man ang mga salafi mo, sa isang iglap, mawawala din pala.

Kitams, wala pala yan sa kung nasan ka. Nasa first world country ka man o third world country, sa isang kumpas ng kamay ni Inang Kalikasan, mapalad ka ng maituturing kung makakapag pa-canton ka pa ng “Lucky Me!” dahil natira pa sa ‘yo ang buhay mo.

Hays…

Hindi pa talaga tapos sa pagre-rearrange ng living room nya si Mother Nature.

oOo

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” - Confucius