Mainit-init na toasted garlic bread. . .para sa isang magandang Lunes ng umaga.
I want my garlic bread…homemade.
Garlic bread na binudburan ng brown sugah!
Thanks God It’s Monday!
oOo
Always be thankful to God for all blessings. Good or bad, there’s always a reason and it’s always for the best!
—
NANAY: “San ka galing? Bat ngayon ka lang?”
ANAK: …
NANAY: “Aba, hindi ka ngayon makapagsalita! Sumagot ka, SUMAGOT KA!”
ANAK: “Nagparty nga kami eh!”
NANAY: “At kelan ka pa natutong SUMAGOT sa mga nakakatanda, ha?!?!”
BOY: “Unggoy ka ba?”
GAL: “Dahil lumalambitin ako sa puso mo?”
BOY: “Mali.”
GAL: “Bakit?”
BOY: “Baka gusto mong tikman ang saging ko.”
LOLO: “Apo magtago ka, nandiyan na titser mo. Alam niya umabsent ka ngayon, di ba?”
APO: “Lo, magtago ka rin kasi sabi ko patay ka kaya ako umabsent.”
A lady became ill while at work and was rushed to a hospital. In typical ER fashion, she was placed on an examination table, and then ignored for half an hour.
Finally, she noticed a doc out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"
"Sorry," he said, "it’s not my table."
Judge to lady
QUESTION: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?”
ANASWER: “He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
QUESTION: “Why did that upset you?”
ANSWER: “My name is Candy.”
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their domestic life, one said, "Seems like all that my husband and I do is fight. I’ve been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds."
"Why don’t you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I’d like to lose another 15 pounds first."
Brenda is home making dinner when Tim, her husband’s co-employee arrives. "Brenda, I’ve something to tell ya."
"Go ahead, Tim. But where’s my husband?"
"That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was an accident at the brewery."
"Oh God no!" cries Brenda.
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Pilsen and drown."
"Oh my dear Jesus! Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no, Brenda. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
PATIENT: “Doc, my GIRL FRIEND is very, very sexy & pretty but unfaithful. Every Friday she goes to WOODY’s Bar, picks up men, fucks them! What should I do?”
DOCTOR: “Ok. Take a deep breath & calm down. Now tell me, WHERE EXACTLY IS WOODY’s Bar?”
Naranasan
mo na ba
magmahal
ng taong
handang
tawirin
ang dagat
at mga bund0k
.
.
…MAIWASAN KA LANG.
Hahaha!
TEACHER: “Name the world’s greatest explorers.’”
JUAN: “Christopher Columbus.”
JOSE: “Ferdinand Magellan.”
RAUL: “Vasco de Gama.”
KULAS: “DORA the Explorer!”
** Jokes courtesy of MIKE.
Nami-miss ko na ang friendlalu kong si Moo aka DEFPOTEC.
Nami-miss din kaya ako ng chekwa na yun?
Matagal ng nakatingga ang blog ni Moo. Bisi-bisihan na kasi sha sa shuta nya kaya di na makapag-blog. Maalala ko, mahilig mamigay ng regalo ‘tong si Moo noon. Abah siempre, galante sya sa mga special friends na kagaya ko lang. Naks! (Shhh! Ako lang ang maysabi na special ako.)
Kahit sa dati nyang gimik na Blogroll Award dun sa site nya, kung mapapansin nyo, ako lang ang binigyan nya ng special trophy (number 7) na ang design ay punong-puno ng aral, kapaki-pakinabang at malaki DAW ang maitutulong sa akin in case of emergency. Lol!
Heniweys, isa sa mga pinakagusto kong bigay sa akin noon ni Moo as token ng friendship namin ay ang 5 books of Francis J. Kong. Personal nyang inabot sa akin ‘to. (Apat lang na libro ang nasa picture kasi yung isa ay hindi pa isinasauli ng niece kong si Tweetums.)
Mula ng mabasa ko ang mga books na ‘to… naging tagahanga na ako ni Francis Kong. Kaya naman kahit dun sa blog ni Mr. Kong ay naka-subscribe din ako. Ang sarap kasi basahin ng books at ng inspirational blog nya. Gusto ko sya kasi magaan basahin sa mata (natural, mata! nagbabasa ba ang ilong?) ang style ng pagsulat nya.
I have a cousin who knows how to make beaded jewelry in different designs and I can’t help, but be in awe every time I see her finished product of handmade earrings, necklaces, and anklets. Handmade jewelry, seeing my cousin does her handicraft, it is not really complex as it sounds or looks. Basically, things needed are: wires, pliers (round/flat nose pliers, chain nose pliers, crimping pliers) and of course, any kind of beads. One day I want to express also my creativity on how to make my own beaded accessories, just for my own use only, right here within the confine of my own home.
Galing ‘to sa thread ng isang FORUM kung saan member ako. Tungkol ‘to sa mga wento ng mga co-members ko (hindi ko na lang ilalagay name nila) sharing their experience, giving tips and warnings tungkol sa mga sari-saring Modus Operandi ng mga kawatan ngayon na naglipana sa kung saan-saan, hindi lang sa Metro Manila kundi sa abroad din. Hindi naman siguro masama kung iko-quote ko yung nasa thread para maging aware din ang mambabasa ng Maruism.
Gusto ko talaga i-share ‘to sa inyo para makatulong. Mabuti na ang maging alisto at maging maingat di ba? Huwag tayo maging shunga-shunga para maiwasan ang mapahamak at maging biktima.
Kung sakaling meron kayong maidadagdag na iba pang M.O. ng mga kawatan, feel free to share.
oOo
Intersection snatchers …….. in jeepney’s, snatchers almost always do their thing, just as the vehicle starts to move near an intersection (hotspots are Araneta Ave, Banawe, etc). I’ve seen this many times before …. the most common thing I’ve noticed, the snatchers eyes are always in scanning mode ….. be on the alert near intersections & be on the lookout for shifty eyes, as also mentioned in the previous posts.
oOo
Laglag barya & ipit-ipit modus operandi ….. classic m.o. ….. be alert & hold on to your things tight, when in public places (especially known hotspots e.g. Cubao, Quiapo, etc). IMO placing your wallet in your front pocket is effective. No bulge in you back-pocket might eliminate you as a target.
oOo
Laglag-cellphone-shakedown (glasses, parker pens, PSP, etc) ….. my friend was walking in the Araneta, Cubao area when he was bumped hard by a man – who afterwards claimed that his cellphone (relatively new model) fell to the ground & got damaged because of the hard bump. Immediately, two other men (clearly accomplices of the jerk) joined in harassing my friend & demanding X,XXX amount of money. My friend being wise to the shakedown, grabbed the cellphone of the man & threw it as far away as possible …. luckily, the scoundrels surprised from what my friend did, went after the phone ….. my friend ran to the nearest establishment & reported the incident to the guard.
oOo
marami na rin pala dito sa pinas na ganyan na maayos porma at akala mo hindi magnanakaw. akala mo customer din yun pala nanakawan ka.
nabiktima na rin ako ng ganyang cute girl modus some years back sa Shanghai, China. Sa subway station na”dukot” yung cellphone ko. huhuhu
While waiting for the train, a cute girl 3-4 ft away from me is making eye contact and looking at my crotch area. Pagpasok namin sa door ng train, dumikit at akala ko “feeler”. sasabihin ko sana “to the left to the left” na ala Beyonce. Kaso to the “right” pala kamay at dinakot phone ko sa belt holder. pagsara train door ako lang nasa loob at hindi siya pumasok and of course nakuha na nya phone ko. Siguro mga 2-3mins ako natulala. ang gandang snatcher nun. Cell phone ko pala tinitingnan at hindi crotch ahuhuhuhu. nadale ako sa ganda ng itsura. mukang 19-20yrs old lang at maganda porma. snatcher pala huhuhu.
After this experience, everytime a pretty girl makes eye contact, my reflex reaction is to hold and feel my cell and wallet. Instinctively,Checking and Making sure it is still there.
oOo
Pasintabi sa mga kumakain.
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:38:49 PM): busy?
MARU (3/9/2011 9:39:21 PM): nangungulangot lang *pahid sa pader*
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:39:37 PM): hmmn productive yan
MARU (3/9/2011 9:39:47 PM): gusto mo ipahid ko sau?
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:39:55 PM): wag nman
MARU (3/9/2011 9:40:19 PM): ipitik ko kaya sau?
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:40:30 PM): hmmn pwede rin
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:40:39 PM): then hagis ko uli sa yo?
MARU (3/9/2011 9:40:44 PM): kakainin mo?
KUPS (3/9/2011 9:40:57 PM): busog na ko…tenkyu!
Finding fun in simple ways makes the happiest days.
Happy Friday, everyone!
–
Konserbatibong bagong kasal sa kanilang honeymoon:
BOY: "honey, ok lang bang pasukin ko ang di pa napapasok ng iba?"
GIRL: "darling, di kaya ako mabingi niyan?"
*Courtesy of Kups
If CINDERELLA’s glass slippers fit perfectly, why did it fall off along the way? Maybe it speaks about 1 important thing: Ang LANDI nya, iniwan-iwan nya para habulin sya.
Si LITTLE MERMAID gusto magkaron ng legs para MAKABUKAKA
Si SLEEPING BEAUTY nagtulog-tulugan para HALIKAN
Si SNOW WHITE nagpatay-patayan para GAPANGIN.
Pansin mo? puro lang kalandian ang turo ng fairytales
Buti pa si DORA..PASYAL PASYAL lang.. Kaya mahinhin pa din.
Pinoy kasi yan.
*Courtesy of Mike
Gusto ni Nonoy malaman kung sino sa NBI, AFP at PNP ang magaling humuli ng kriminal… Ngpakawala ng rabbit sa gubat at pinahanap sa kanila.
Paglabas ng NBI s gubat, ang sabi: "Di nmin mkita. We conclude wla na ang rabbit."
Sunod ang AFP, at sinunog ang parte ng gubat na akala andun ang rabbit. Pglabas sabi: "Patay na ang rabbit!"
Last ang PNP. Pumasok sa gubat. Psglabas me kaladkad na puro pasa at umiiyak na gorilla. Ssbi ng GORILLA: "Sige, rabbit na nga ako!" 
Ganun? Hmmmn..aber, ma-tsek nga. Ginagawa ko ba ang mga sumusunod o hindi?
Yea, everybody farts. And everyone has to go poop. And shockingly, every person in the world has belched at one time or another. But men like to think of us as ladylike and feminine. After all, isn’t that what attracts them to us in the first place? So don’t give any raunchy details about your period or your stomach flu. Save all that for your diary!
*GUILTY
Utotera ako. Kasalanan ba yun? Pero not in public place ha! Sorry pero hindi pwedeng hindi ko i-share yan sa bf ko lalo na pag kami lang dalawa. Hindi ako pwede magpigil. Love is sharing naman di ba? Anong unladylike ka diyan! Tse! Unladylike your scrotum! Hehe! Gross na kung gross! Bakit ba!
Impernes, kadalasan naman pag bumubuga ako eh wala naman amoy. Tsaka pag meron naman, ako na mismo ang naghahanap ng pamaypay at pinapaypayan ko yung tao sabay sabing “Wag mo amuyin! Wag mo amuyin! Wag mo amuyin! (repeat until fade..)” Ganun lang yun teh.
Tungkol naman sa monthly period, aysus, natural magsasabi ako. Haler! Wag siyang mag-inarte. Ang babae pa naman pag may PMS, halos walang kinatatakutan. Kelangan maging interesado ang bf ko na malaman ang tungkol sa period ko para alam nya kung kelan ako safe! *wink! At para mapag-isipan namin kung anong method ang diskarte pag meron. Wag na mag anu-ano pa, para din yun sa ikabubuti namin at sa ikauunlad ng bayan. Hehe!
2. Your Girlfriends’ Secrets
This really is a no-brainer. Your friends confide in you and expect you to keep that confidence. After all, they do the same for you, right? So keep their trust intact. You have no idea how hard it is on a guy to hear us dish about all the latest gossip when all they want to do is rest after a long day. And if the secret you are telling is one of your close girlfriends who happens to have a boyfriend that your man sees everyday, it may be hard for him not to let it slip.
*GUILTY
Madaldal ako sa boypren ko. Ang totoo, mas madali akong mag-open up sa lalaki kesa babae. So far wala naman akong naging problema sa pagsi-share ko sa bf kasi siguro nagkakataon din na mga tsismoso ang mga naging bf ko. Haha! Well, aminado ako, kelangan ko rin ang matuto na huwag masyado maging kampante sa pagsi-share sa lalaki dahil hindi rin lahat ng lalaki ay mapagkakatiwalaan.
3. Your Toothbrush
Yes, I know you kiss him and you both drink from the same glass occasionally. But we live in a civilized age and hygiene is a little more obvious now than it was 200 years ago. Toothbrushes only cost a few dollars. Buy your own!
*NOT GUILTY
Never ako naki-share ng toothbrush ng boypren ko. Hindi baleng hindi na ako mag-bras ng ipin. Pero may naging 2 ex-bf ako na nakigamit ng toothbrush ko noon. Umokey lang ako pero hindi ko na ginamit ulit ang totbras ko na hiniram nila. 
Kremo and I
(Lumang kodak namin ng alaga ko. Year 2009.)
Gusto ko na ulit mag-alaga ng puppy. Nami-miss ko na ang kagaya ng Kremo ko, a japanese spitz. Shaks! Hindi ko akalain na mangungulila ako ng husto sa dati kong alaga noon. Ewan ko ba, meron talaga silang kakaibang klase ng pagmamahal na ibinibigay na hinding-hindi ko naramdaman sa mga kapwa kong demi-god. Charing!
Sa buhay natin, there are few people, if any, who truly love us unconditionally. Mahal tayo in spite of all our faults, all our failures, all our weaknesses, and with no strings attached. Jackpot talagang maituturing pag meron taong ganyan sa atin. Well, ganyan na ganyan ang pagmamahal ng aso. (Ganyan din kaya ang mga isinilang sa Year of the Dog? Chooos! Parinig! Lol!)
A dog loves you unconditionally. You can neglect him, and he loves you, turn your back on him, and he loves you, abuse him with words, or even physically; still mahal ka pa rin nya. Kahit dinededma mo na sya, pero lalapit pa rin sha at ishe-shembot pa rin nya ang buntot nya. Ibang klase talaga!
Maituturing na para syang si Lord. Hindi ko sinasabi na with matching shembot din si Lord ng buntot nya ha. Pero yung response nya is very similar. We turn our backs on Him, pero si Lord, nungka! We neglect His Word yet the Lord remains faithful. Walang duda, He is the “same yesterday …today and forever”. (Nasa Hebrews yan mga ning!)
A basta! Nami-miss ko ang aso ko.
Gusto mong matuto sa sinasabing pagmamahal na walang kundisyon? Subukan mo mag-alaga at magmahal ng aso.
Kung hindi ka pa nakapag-alaga ng aso sa buong buhay mo, malamang 100% nakanganga ka lang ngayon na nagbabasa neto at hindi maka-relate. Ahihi!
Have a nice ASH Wednesday, mortals!
oOo
A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.- Robert Wagner
—
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.
‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of her fave breakfast cereals, and then took her to a theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!’
–
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
oOo
“Sometimes we hide our pain thinking we can get over it, but deep inside its hurting us even more”
—
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