SMS Jokes 2011-190

Do you know why Libyan Pres. KHADAFFI refused to step down?
Well.. He’s just fulfilling his promise to all Libyans. He Said:
" I Will Never LIB YA!!!"

LIBRARIAN: “The book you borrowed "HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR MAID" is long overdue. Please return ASAP; otherwise, we will be forced to cancel your reservation on the book "HOW TO REVIVE DEAD PENIS."
ERAP: “Moment ma’am, I will get it!”

A doctor just completed his test on human heart. The result:
1. A normal heart pumping sound is "blub dab, blub dad, blub dab…"
2. A tired person heart pumping sound who jumping around like stupid is "da dumb, da dumb, da dumb…"
3. Male’s heart sound when horny is "boobs boobs, boobs boobs…"

  •  

Two men at a ballroom. First guy says, "Have you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
Other guy replies, "No, but I do sleep with his sister every night."

  •  

Man1: “Friend, you got to pull them blinds down at night. The whole neighborhood saw you romancing your wife last night…”
Man2: “Oh, man, the joke’s on you, I wasn’t even at home last night.”

  •  

Man1: “I’m really worried about my wife. She drives like lightning!”
Man2: “You mean she drives too fast.”
Man1: “No, I mean she is always striking trees.”

  •  

Pete goes to doctor for an examination. The doctor says, "Pete, you gotta stop jerking off!"
Pete says, "But why, doc?"
Doctor says, "Because I’m trying to examine you."

  •  

Son was released from jail and his mom asked him, "Did you learn your lesson?"
To which he said, "I might need to study more."

  •  

Returning to a military camp one night, a colonel and his wife were challenged by a gate sentry, "Halt and identify yourself!"
"Susmariosep!" said the startled wife.
The sentry stepped aside. "Advance, Holy Family, to be recognized!"

** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge