SMS Jokes 2011-190

Do you know why Libyan Pres. KHADAFFI refused to step down?
Well.. He’s just fulfilling his promise to all Libyans. He Said:
" I Will Never LIB YA!!!"

LIBRARIAN: “The book you borrowed "HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR MAID" is long overdue. Please return ASAP; otherwise, we will be forced to cancel your reservation on the book "HOW TO REVIVE DEAD PENIS."
ERAP: “Moment ma’am, I will get it!”

A doctor just completed his test on human heart. The result:
1. A normal heart pumping sound is "blub dab, blub dad, blub dab…"
2. A tired person heart pumping sound who jumping around like stupid is "da dumb, da dumb, da dumb…"
3. Male’s heart sound when horny is "boobs boobs, boobs boobs…"


Two men at a ballroom. First guy says, "Have you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
Other guy replies, "No, but I do sleep with his sister every night."


Man1: “Friend, you got to pull them blinds down at night. The whole neighborhood saw you romancing your wife last night…”
Man2: “Oh, man, the joke’s on you, I wasn’t even at home last night.”


Man1: “I’m really worried about my wife. She drives like lightning!”
Man2: “You mean she drives too fast.”
Man1: “No, I mean she is always striking trees.”


Pete goes to doctor for an examination. The doctor says, "Pete, you gotta stop jerking off!"
Pete says, "But why, doc?"
Doctor says, "Because I’m trying to examine you."


Son was released from jail and his mom asked him, "Did you learn your lesson?"
To which he said, "I might need to study more."


Returning to a military camp one night, a colonel and his wife were challenged by a gate sentry, "Halt and identify yourself!"
"Susmariosep!" said the startled wife.
The sentry stepped aside. "Advance, Holy Family, to be recognized!"

** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike

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