SMS Jokes 2011-200

NEWSBOY: “Dyaryo kayo dyan! Dalawang bading ang naloko! Diyaryo! Diyaryo!”
BAKLA: “Hi! Pabili nga ng diyaryo! Magkano?”
NEWSBOY: “Twelb pesos po.”
BAKLA: (ginalugad agad ang diyaryo) “Hoy! Wala naman akong mabasang dalawang bading na naloko dito ah!”
NEWSBOY: “Diyaryo! Diyaryo! Tatlong Bading ang naloko. Diyaryo kayo dyan!”

LOLO: “Kuhaan mo nga ako ng ice cream sa ref.”
LOLA: “Ok.”
LOLO: “Tandaan mo, wag ulyanin, ice cream ha?”
LOLA: “Oo ice crean. Gusto mo ba ung Mango flavor.”
LOLO: “but of cors.”
Pagbalik ni Lola.
LOLA: “Eto na ang hotdog.”
LOLO: “Sabi na nga ba, ulyanin ka na e!”
LOLA: “Bakit?”
LOLO: “Asan yung ketsup?”

Nipa hut, even though it is small, the plants there are various. Turnip and eggplant, winged bean and peanut, string bean, hyacinth bean, lima bean. Wax guard, loofah, white squash and pumpkin. And there are also radish, mustard, onion, tomato, garlic and ginger. And all around are full of sesame seeds.
BAHAY KUBO
Uyy! Babasahin nya uli yan. Titingnan nya english ng mga gulay. :p

Habang tayo’y nabighani sa ganda ni Kate, humanga at namangha sa marangyang kasal, huwag po nating kalimutan..
SUPOT SI PRINCE WILLIAM!

** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE.

Isang bahay may nakasulat na “Ice for sale”
BATA: "Pabili!"
YAYA: "Ano bibilin mo?"
BATA: "Kendi nga po."
YAYA: "Wala."
BATA: "Coke"
YAYA: "Wala!"
BATA: "Juice"
YAYA: "Wala nga! Kita mong "Ice for sale" yung nakasulat, malamang Ice lang tinitinda namin!! tanga mo talaga!"
BATA: "Ikaw nga ung mas tanga kita mong ice lang tinitinda nyo nagtatanong ka pa kung ano bibilhin ko tanga!"

QUESTION and ANSWER portion.
HOST: "Miss Bulgaria!"
MISS BULGARIA: "Yes?"
HOST: "How old are you?"
MISS BULGARIA: "Im 20 years old."
HOST: "What would you be expecting after 5 years?"
MISS BULGARIA: "I`d be 25."

Continue reading

Testi

Nagsinungaling ako.

Ang totoo, mami-miss ko ang Friendster na magsasara na sa May 31. Sino ba naman ang hindi makaka-miss sa naging uso noon na “testi”. Mga testimonials na punong-puno lang naman ng ka-charotan at ka-eklatan. Haha!

testi

Heto ang mangilan-ngilan sa mga “testi” sa akin noon galing sa mga may “testicles” kong mga ka-Friendster.

Current mode: Aliw!

1. Duanne May 12 2005, 08:03 AM

>>> cErtiFieD hOtcHicK <<<
"kayA aLL thE bOys Out dEr
yOu beTteR watcH Out diS girL
bEcaUsE tHis girL caN
rOcK yOur wOrLd haha"
tiLL hErE seXy sEe yAh. . . =D

**You better watch out. Better not cry. Better not pout.  I’m telling you why. Charot!

2. joseph calvin Jun 18 2005, 08:17 AM

to someone who is very mysteriuos……..
always take care………

**Pa-epek ko lang yan! Ang magpa-mysteriUOs.

3. John Aug 16 2005, 02:16 PM

Deep woman — Sexy picture.
Home to get to know you and hear from you very soon have a nice day —
and keep on being so sexy!

**Home to know you as well. Home sweet home!

4. owyeahhh Aug 26 2005, 06:37 AM

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.
see yahh… ms sexy 🙂

**Syet! Anong sinabi ng Ocean Deep sa lalim ng message?!

5. jyetti Nov 19 2005, 08:20 PM

makes us go hot nd hwny……. she can make men become her slaves

**(Maru – may hawak-hawak na LATIGO habang binabasa ang testi.)

6. POLDO May 15 2006, 10:31 AM

Hi. Ms. maruja.
actually di ko sya kilala personally..
kahet nakilala ko sya as ganun.
nakita ko naman sa kanya ang kabaitan nya.
i like her as my ka friendster
and i love her BLOG napaka inspiring at
malapet sa PUSO….
thank you for adding me here.
i hope na maging ok ka always…
and be happy.
take care always at sa iyong mga children…
Happy Mother’s DAY

**Me ganun? Anong ganun? Wag naman ganun. Hindi naman kita ginaganun. Tapos gaganunin mo ko? Sana wag tayo mag-ganunan.

7. Vincent I Jul 15 2006, 07:13 AM

C ms. maruja dati ko pa ina-admire! una ko pa lng naka usap sa chat at nakita sa webcam.sobra me natulala at natahimik sa kinauupuan ko sa office. 100%
—-C-E-R-T-I-F-I-E-D—-hot chick!

and now, nalaman ko sa testimonials na 100% real and good mommy for her children..
sana makilala pa kita ng lubusan maruja!!
thanks po uli…til next testi po….c",)

**Hmnn..natulala? Akala siguro, isa akong bakla. Oist! 100% chick ako noh at 100%  certified HALAL pa! Lol! Parang beef burger lang ako – 100% real. Chos! 

8. cali Jan 30 2007, 08:01 AM

c maru tagal ko ng nakilala sa chat yan.. grabeh sarap kasma sa chat walang ka boring boring kadalasan wala ng kainan basta busog ang mata nyahaha joke :p di very friendly tong c mamaru hay nakew maru wala akong masabi hehehe basta wag ka lang mamaru hirap gumawa ng testi erase mo na lang 😀

** Onga! Halata naman, wala kang masabi. (Nahilo)

9. nE!L Feb 15 2007, 02:31 PM

maru?
shes malufet.. maganda sexy!! wala ka nang mahanap pah!!>. grabe talagah yan!! at mabait… pag sa chat… d ko pa siya na meet peru i think im in luv nah… cge ingat nlng maru… miss u soo much….

** Grabe talagaH ha!

10. Chester Feb 18 2007, 05:30 PM

Maru Maru Maru… she’s awesome girl!!! flawless at nice. Hope u still remember me. Mizz yah maru medyo bz na sa work kaya e2 d na rin ol. just take care. mwah tsup…..:D thanks 

** Mwah na! Tsup pa! San ka pa!

11. arthur Apr 10 2007, 04:05 PM

hi maruja..you are one wonderful gurl.. how i wish i will be able to meet you..
M – Magnificent woman i long to meet
A – Angelic yet devilish in love
R – Ravishing beauty beyond compare..
U – Unparalled by anyone on earth
J – Joy to behold when you see her..
A – Athena of my fantasy
that’s you maruja.. take care my love..

** You had me at “ravishing beauty beyond compare”. (Tumambling!)

12. Paolo Apr 28 2007, 03:56 PM

Hi Miss Maruja,
Sa pics pa lang napakasexy na.. Siguro sa personal talaga sexy ito.

** O ha! Marami talaga akong nauto ha!

13. Aristotle May 26 2007, 10:28 AM

hi maruja, thanks for adding me ha! i know i’ll be in the company of someone who see’s life as a game, a play. yet, inspite of that outlook yuo have that quality of being a true person, you have that creative side that draws other people, either by mysticism, poetry, charm, fun or simply foolishness. I’m glad that i have found you! you are a symbol of life…. ha ha ha!

**Hanudaw? (Blag! Hinimatay.)

14. Bay Garden Sep 05 2007, 03:06 AM

Thank you very much for adding me. Sorry I am not well versed with the various beautiful and animated testi I see with others. Anyway a heartfelt thanks for your friendly gesture. I am sincerely offering any form of assistance with my professional background in sales, marketing, legal, etc. Basta kaya ko, just email me asap sa webbiz_ph@yahoo.com. Madami akong alam gawin at lakarin!

** Nenerbyos ako. Akala ko noon bebentahan ako ng memorial plan at sa dami nyang alam gawin, kulang na lang sabihin na hitman for hire din sha.

15. A?? -jc-sfxlx07 Oct 24 2008, 09:39 AM

Mucha’s graciA’s sexy maMaru”’ this girl represents the passion of a real woman… in this world no else can take you away if u truely love this person! maruja is a very passionate woman simple, but erresistable… & you can count on always… kind, sweet, understanding… if you guy’s give her a head pls step back ok!… coz she’s very… intimate woman ehhehe… keep safe Always… james hir… mwahhhhhhhh hope you like this song…

** ”…if you guy’s give her a head pls step back ok!…” <— mamatay man, nalukring ako dito.

16. A?? -jc-sfxlx07 Dec 05 2008, 09:44 AM

I LOVE YOURE PICTURES… LUK GREAT… KEEP SAFE… JAMES HIR

** “…luk great, keep safe, …”, in fairness parang nag-rhyme naman.

oOo

"No speak, because the people have speaken!" – Vic Sotto, Pak! Pak! My Dr. Kwak! (2011)