SMS Jokes 2011-213

Pag sa gabi nakakita ka ng BIG STAR, ihanda ang camera.
Pag mataas, kunan mo, baka VEGA o SIRIUS yun!
Pag sobrang mababa, wag na, CALTEX yun!

Paano sasabihin sa tao na maasim ang amoy nya na hindi sya magdaramdam? SAGOT:”May dugong bughaw ka ba? Ka-smell mo kasi si Datu Puti!”

Basahin sa Alpabetong Pilipino: B, K, W, L, K, M, G, W, P, R, M, S, Y, T, W, K, H, H, H, T, W, P, H, H, H, T, M, N, P, R, K, N, T, NGa!

ZOO.
MAX:"Pare bakit kaya anlaki ng butas ng ilong ng gorilya?"
JUAN: "Kasi anlaki ng daliri nila! Kung maliit butas, paano sila mangungulangot?"

PASYENTE: "Dok, gusto kong PUMOGI pero wala akong pera! May paraan pa ba n mas mura?"
DOC: "Meron!"
PASYENTE: "Paano po?"
DOC: "Tumabi ka sa MAS PANGIT sa yo!"

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Bagong Sapin

May bago akong na-shoplift! May bago akong placemats! ๐Ÿ˜›

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And mind you, napapa-hallelujah ako sa kababawan kong ‘to. As in tuwang-tuwa kasi ang tagal ko na naghahanap ng placemats na gusto ko talaga. Yung sapin na tipong babagay naman sa pinggan namin.

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Nadikwat ko ‘to sa isang Korean store. Bakit ko sya super-LIKE?

Kasi napaka-cheapanga ng price (18 petot each lang) pero hindi naman sya mukhang chipipay, di ba? O baka akala ko lang. Hihi!

Well, hindi po sya gawa sa plastik. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Na-shoplift ko ‘to kagabi at bininyagan ko kaninang umaga. Ah, basta! Keber kung di kabonggahan ang food namin.

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Ang importante inspired ako sa bagong sapin o mga banig-banigan na nakalatag sa hapag-kainan namin. Kuha nyo!?

 

oOo

"No one in this world can dictate to YOU what can make YOU happy" – Gina Leviste, May Minamahal (1993)

Pandagdag Kaalaman

Gustong-gusto ko pag may sini-share o pinapadala sa akin si Kups sa Gmail ko na mga INTERESTING FACTS chuchu.

Aminin ko, interesado akong magbasa ng mga ganitetch. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay nagiging SMART (sori GLOBE) at nagle-level up ako sa mga nalalaman ko.

Tsaka siguro kung ganito palagi ang pinapadala sa akin ni Kups imbes na mga naked pics nya (Hihihi! To Kups:image) ay kahit papano ay mababawasan ang kalawang sa pumupurol kong utak.

Desidido na ako, tatantanan ko na rin ang kababasa ng mga erotic sex stories. Hahaha! Hmp! Ganun din naman, reading sex stories, may madagdag man sa akin na kaalaman tungkol sa mga teknik ng mga makamundong pagnanasa ek-ek, waley naman din akong pag-aaplayan sa true to life. Lech!

Kaya dapat mga ganito na lang talaga ang binabasa ko kasi sure na sure may mapapala pa akong kaalaman. Naks!

  1. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
  2. The word “modem” is a contraction of the words “modulate, demodulate.” (MOdulate DEModulate)
  3. Crossing one’s fingers is a way of secretly making the sign of the Cross. It was started by early Christians to ask for divine assistance without attracting the attention of pagans.
  4. In the 1700’s you could purchase insurance against going to hell, in London England.
  5. Ferdinand Porsche, who later went on to build sports cars bearing his own name, designed the original 1936 Volkswagen.
  6. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
  7. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
  8. Florence Nightingale served only two years of her life as a nurse. She contracted fever during her service in the Crimean War, and spent the last 50 years of her life as an invalid.
  9. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades – King David; mickey mouseClubs – Alexander the Great; Hearts – Charlemagne; and Diamonds – Julius Caesar.
  10. Actor Steve McQueen encouraged his karate teacher to pursue a career in acting. The teacher? Chuck Norris. McQueen is quoted as telling Norris, “If you can’t do anything else’ there’s always acting.”
  11. Mickey Mouse was the first non-human to win an Oscar.
  12. The “glair” is the white or clear part of an egg. The word glair comes from the Latin clarus, meaning “clear.”
  13. MAFIA is an acronym for Morte Alla Francia Italia Anela, or “Death to the French is Italy’s Cry”
  14. acetwothreefourfivesixseveneightninetenjackqueenking Excluding the joker, if you add up the letters in all the names of the cards in the deck (Ace, two, three, four,…,king). the total number of letters is 52, the same as the number of cards in the deck.
  15. It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

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#3 – Sa Pinoy… Peksman ang tawag natin diyan di ba? Bakit kaya Peksman?

#4 – Kung meron pa nito hanggang ngayon, sigurado ko mamamakyaw ng insurance ang mga kurap na politiko at ang mga mayayamang mapang-api! Lol!

#7 – Ang nanay (RIP) ko naman, ay marunong humawak ng bolpen at magsulat mapa-kaliwa o kanan man na kamay. Hindi nga lang sabay gaya ni Da Vinci.

#9 – Attention mga sugarol at adik sa tong-its: knows nyo ba ‘to? If not, pakatitigan nyo next time ang mga hawak na baraha.

#15 – Trulili! I just Googled it.

 

oOo

“Ang pag-ibig pala parang bill ng kuryente. Ang daming hidden charges, wala kang laban” – Janus del Prado, I Do (2011)