Thursday Humor

Courtesy of MIKE

"MY WAY"
by: GMA & FG
(with apologies to F. Sinatra)

And now, my end is near and so
I face the nation’s judgment.

My friends, I say it clear, I have my case and it’s impending.
I’ve lived a lie that’s full and gained from deals from every high way.
0h yes, I stole a lot and did it my way.

Secrets, I had a few, two leaky boobs of false dimension.
I did what I had to do, Garci saw it thru without exemption.
To think I did all that and may I say not in a shy way.

O yes, I screwed you all and did it my way!

Kinanta mo, noh? Aminin!

Si Tikyo nag text sa kanyang parents:
"Hello Pa, Ma. Sorry i keep on asking for money from you. I am so ashamed but i really need P1000. I wanted to cancel this txt msg & I prayed to God that I will not send it anymore but it’s too late."

A few hours later, naka receive sya ng reply from his father:
"Your prayers were answered. We did not receive your message."  

JUAN:"DOk, tulungan nyo ko sa problema ko, di ko maalala ang mga sinasabi ko!" DOK:"Kelan pa nagsimula ang problemang ito?"
JUAN:"Aling problema?"

GURO:"Class, ako ang magiging adviser ninyo sa taong ito. Sino sa inyo ang nakakaalam ng name ko?"
ESTUDYANTE: "Mam, first day pa lang po, quiz agad?"

Lasing, na-curfew si Andoy.
PULIS:"Saan ka pupunta sa ganitong oras ng gabi?"
ANDOY:"Makikinig po ng sermon!"
PULIS:"Sa simbahan?"
ANDOY:"Sa mrs ko po!"

LOLO:iho malalim ba ang ilog na to?
BATA:"Hindi po!"
LOLO:(tumawid at muntik malunod) "Sabi mo hindi malalim?"
BATA:"Nakatawid po kasi yung bibe!"

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I Taw A Putty Tat

May tanggap na labada ang Mamaru today.

pussy a day

Pero paano naman ako makakapaglaba neto kung may nag-aastig-astigan na putty tat dito sa pamamahay ko at ayaw ipagamit sa akin ang mga palanggana ko?! Litsi!

pussy a day

Tsinelasin ko kaya ‘to?

 

 

oOo

"Kung may gusto ka, hindi mo dapat pakawalan" – Angel Locsin, IN THE NAME OF LOVE (2011)