SMS Jokes 2011-229

** Courtesy of Mike

Chinese ambassador (galit): "Ba’t Sona ni PNoy, lahat problema ng Pilipinas sa China isinisisi?"
Lacierda: "Spratlys lang sinabi nya sa SONA ah."
Chinese Amb (lalong nagalit): "Anong Splatlys lang!? E si WANG  WANG? Chinese din yun, ah!!"

PACMAN: "Inay, este Mommy, ano po sa english ang pantog?"
ALING DIONY: "E di bladder."
PACMAN: "Ah. ok. E ano naman po sa english ang pantog ng bayaw mo?"
ALING DIONY: "Tanga tanga mo talaga anak! Congressman, ka pa naman!
E di Bladder-in-law"

After launching his own line of perfume, Manny will launch a line of female perfume in honor of Mommy Dionesia with two scents:

Amoy Lupa & Amoy Patay!

Very Interesting and Valid Thought..
No matter how much a woman criticizes her husband on each and every judgement. . .
She NEVER questions his CHOICE of WIFE!

Doc: "Do exercise daily for good health."
Patient: "Doc, I play football, tennis daily."
Doc: "How long do you play?"
Boy: "Until my phone’s battery goes low."

A husband and wife were in their backyard and he noticed her expanding backside. He remarked, "Boy, your ass is getting big as our gas grill here." She got angry and retreated to the far side of the yard. Later that night in bed, the husband made moves on his wife. She turned away and coldly said, "I’m not firing up this grill for just one little sausage!"

Why are women like pianos?
When they’re not upright, they’re grand.

"What’s in your wallet?" asked Juan to his friend Pete. "My wife’s pictures."
"Wow," chuckled John and continued to say, "I didn’t know you’re such a devoted husband. Btw, what’s your wife’s name?"
"Which one?" answered Pete.

Teacher while lecturing, noticed a student sleeping at the back.
Teacher shouts to the student’s seatmate, "Wake him up!"
The seatmate yells back, "You put him to sleep, so you wake him up!"

Teacher: "Ibigay ang kahulugan ng SISIW."                                                                      Student: "Mam, ang SISIW ay produkto ng pagsasama ng TITIW at KIKIW!"

In the world, everybody makes mistakes. But. . .
only a WIFE has God-given talent of finding them, remembering them and reminding men throughout life!

A guy asked his wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She replied, "I want to go some place I’ve never been in my entire life."
He suggested, "How about the beauty parlor?"

What Is The Height of Friendship?
When your Best Friend Runs Away With Your Wife And. . .
You Really Miss Your Friend.

One kid says to dad: "I am going to college soon. I wanna be a cardiologist, so I am going to medical school."
Dad says, "Heart is only ONE, you won’t make too much money. Be a dentist!"
Kid replies, "Dad, I have 100000 plus hairs. Do you think I should be a Barber?"

GOD – I can’t be everywhere so I created MOTHERS.
DEVIL – I can’t be everywhere so I created GIRLS.
DEVIL laughs..
GOD – Don’t laugh, I have created BOYS to change them to MOTHERS again!

 

oOo

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