SMS Jokes 2011-231

TANONG: Anong first name ni Diether?
SAGOT:  E di, Tirso Cruz-Diether!"

TANONG: Anong surname ni Punisher?
SAGOT: E di Punisher Rano

"Hindi lahat ng bumabakat sa damit, nakakaakit." – BILBIL

"Huwag mo na lang ako tingnan, para hindi mo na maalala kung gaano kita nasaktan…." – PEKLAT

“HIndi lahat ng may bag pumapasok.” -DORA

"Sige kalimutan mo ako nang ilabas ko sa mundo ang baho mo" – DEODORANT

Use Copy-Paste in sentence "Tigilan mo na yang COPY-PASTEbook mo!"

JUAN:"Pare, para i-prove ang LOVE sa GF ko, inukit ko ng kutsilyo ang name nya sa braso ko!"
MAX: "Natuwa ba sya? JUAN:Hindi, wrong spelling eh!"

PEDRO: "Hoy , gising , gumising ka!"
JUAN: "Bakit ? ano gagawin natin?"
PEDRO: "Matutulog."

Ano daw sabi ng TAE sa PWET, "Hoy ano ba? Palabasin mo na kami, ang baho dito!”

WIFE: "Honey hirap na hirap na ko sa pag hinga."
HUSBAND: "Itigil mo na kasi ng hindi ka mahirapan."

TITSER: "Juan ! Bakit puro pagmamahal ang sagot mo sa test paper mo?"
JUAN: "Bakit ma’am kelan po ba naging mali ang mag-mahal?" 

Kamusta lovelife mo? "Eto parang Skyflakes…puro BREAK!"

Ang english kaya ng " BUTI NALANG " ay EMPTY BOTTLE?

TEKLA:"Juan, ano sa palagay mo ang bagay na gupit sa akin?"
JUAN:"Kahit anong gupit basta’t natatakpan ang mukha mo!"
TEKLA:"Grrrr!"

PASYENTE: "Dok, tulungan nyo po ako! Pakiramdam ko, lahat ng taong makausap ko, iniisip na hindi ako nagsasabi ng totoo!"
DOK: "Oww? Hindi nga?"

WIFE: "I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in your hands all day."
HUSBAND: "I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day."

BANAT NG LAITERA: "Wala ako sa mood manlait ngayon, kaya please paki-bulsa yang mukha mo."

BANAT NG MALANDI: “Eh ano naman sa inyo kung MALANDI ako, bakit, kayo ba NILALANDI ko?”

 

oOo

“Kung ayaw mong malimutan ka ng isang tao, mangutang ka sa kanya.”

Interesting Facts

**Courtesy of Kups

  1. Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents.
  2. Elizabeth Taylor has appeared on the cover of Life magazine more than anyone else.
  3. A chicken with red earlobes will produce brown eggs, and a chicken with white earlobes will produce white eggs.
  4. The only South East Asian country that has never been colonized by a Western Power is Thailand.
  5. In 1631, two London bible printers accidentally left the word "not" out of the seventh commandment, which then read, "Thou shall commit adultery." This legendary book is now known as the "Wicked Bible."
  6. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar an England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
  7. The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
  8. The key (#) on the keyboard is called an octothorpe.
  9. The palms of your hands and the soles of your feet cannot tan, or grow hair.
  10. The purpose of tonsils is to destroy foreign substances that are swallowed or breathed in.
  11. Jewelers Tiffany & Co., based in New York, are responsible for making the Super Bowl trophy.
  12. The Nobel Peace prize was first awarded in 1901 to Jean Henry Dunant, who was the founder of the Swiss Red Cross.
  13. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down – hence the expression "to get fired."
  14. The word "Nazi" is actually an abbreviation for Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, which refers to the National Socialist German Workers Party.
  15. On November 29, 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."
  16. In Albania, nodding your head means "no" and shaking your head means "yes." (huh! baliktad?)
  17. Actor Sylvester Stallone once had a job as a lion cage cleaner.
  18. The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (S.M.O.M.). It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, has an area of two tennis courts, and as of 2001 has a population of 80, 20 less people than the Vatican. It is a sovereign entity under international law, just as the Vatican is.
  19. The markings that are found on dice are called "pips."
  20. The music band UB40 got its name from an unemployment form in England.
  21. The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the worlds largest zipper manufacturer.
  22. Peanut butter is an effective way to to remove chewing gum from hair or clothes.

 

oOo

"Gwapo. Mabait. Hindi babaero. Eh bading ‘yan!" – Eugene Domingo, You Are The One (2006)

Tuesday Photos

 

Our camera-shy cockapoo, baby Sang. Chos.

our pet cockapoo

Sexy back. Vital stat: 14-14-14.

Length of tail: available upon request

sexy back of Sang 

Favorite hobby: Sleeping

 sleeping Sang 

Favorite sport: Eating

our cockapoo

(Green dog collar courtesy of Kuya Kevin)

HAPPY TUESDAY, lovelies!

oOo

“Masarap maging SINGLE. Kaya kung Single ka. Be PROUD! Masarap ka!”

Chinese Honey Chicken

Nami-miss ko kumain ng Orange Chicken ng Chowking. . . lalo na pag may nanglilibre. 😀

Gusto ko nga sana magluto na lang kagabi para maibsan ang cravings ko, kaso waley at hindi naman pala ako nakabili ng oranges. Tuloy ‘tong Honey Chicken ang napagdiskitahan kong iluto para pang-dinner na rin namin dahil nagkataon na abelabol naman sa kusina ko ang lahat na kelangan na sangkap. Howel, impernes, di rin naman matatawaran ang sarap ng putahe na ‘to. Tama lang yung sweetness nya.

Chinese recipe ‘to kaya wag magtaka kung maging singkit ang mata mo pagkatapos mong matikman ‘to. Weee! Corny! Hmp!

Chinese Honey Chicken

Ingredients:
½ kilo boneless skinless chicken breasts (cut into chunks)
Oil (for frying)
Batter-
4 tablespoons cornstarch
¼ cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ cup water
½ teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 egg white
Sauce-
1 ½ tablespoons oil
2 teaspoon ginger (minced)
3 tablespoons garlic (minced)
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons honey
1 teaspoon rice wine vinegar
½ cup water
1 teaspoon cornstarch (mixed with 1 teaspoon water)
Sesame seeds (for garnish)

Chinese Honey Chicken 

1. In a large bowl mix all batter ingredients together until smooth. Cover and allow the batter to sit for at least 30 minutes. Add the chicken to the batter tossing to coat.

batter and chicken cuts chicken tossed to the batter

2. Fry chicken bits in batches for 2 minutes or until batter becomes firm. Drain on paper towel.

fry chicken bits drain on paper towel 

3. Make the sauce. Heat 1 ½ tablespoons of oil in your wok. Add garlic and ginger and stir fry for 30 seconds. Add salt, honey, vinegar, and water. Mix well. Combine 1 teaspoon of water with 1 teaspoon of cornstarch. Add to the sauce and Simmer for 2 minutes.
4. Coat chicken with the sauce and garnish with sesame seeds. (Makes 4 servings)

honey coated chicken

 

oOo