**Courtesy of MIKE
GIRL: "Ang kati ng mata ko."
BOY: "Ah alam mo ibig sabihin nyan, may gusto makakita sau.."
GIRL: "Ang kati ng kamay ko."
BOY: "Eh di may gustong makipag holding hands sau.."
GIRL: "Ang kati ng labi ko.."
BOY: "Ah, may gusto humalik sau.."
GIRL: "Kati mg katawan ko."
BOY: "Hoy babae! Wag kang ambisyosa! GALIS lang yan! Eto zonrox at muriatic, hala maligo ka!"
The wife came home late at night and says to her husband, "Woohoo… I know something you don’t."
"Oh yeah, what is it, sweetie?" the husband inquired.
"What it’s like to have a big cock." she replied.
A boy on a date with a girl in a BMW..
BOY: "Sweetheart, I hid something from you."
BOY: "I am already married.." :/
GIRL: "Oh! You scared me. I thought this BMW isn’t yours."
When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive.
Never try to give up on life.
Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm ma-reach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka!
ANAK: "Ma, pwede po pahingi ng barya?"
NANAY: "Bakit anak?"
ANAK: "Ibibigay ko lang po doon sa matanda."
NANAY: "Wow! Ang bait naman ng anak ko. Nasaan ba ung matanda?"
ANAK: "’yon po oh! Nagbebenta ng ice cream!"