Thursday Humor

** Courtesy of Mike

Atty. TOPACiO’s bold challenge to have one of his balls cut off for GMA’s sake irked his wife to the max that she’s suing GMA for…

"ERECTIONAL SABOTAGE".

*

There is a proposal to amend the Rules of Court.
In lieu of bail, puede na mag-guaranty na lang ang counsel na ‘ipaputol ang itlog’ nya pag tumakas ang client. That’s what you call a..

"BALL BOND".

*

ADVISORY:
Naideklara na pong special holiday ang Biyernes, November 25. Kaya wala nang pasok ang elementary hanggang college at lahat ng government agencies dahil inaasahang ng ating pangulo na ang sambayanang Pilipino ay makikiisa..

SA PAGHANAP KAY ELISA.

*

Kung lahat na lang ng PALABAS ay kailangan ng PATNUBAY at GABAY ng mga MAGULANG, may matapos pa kayang gawain si Nanay?

*

MOTTO:
”Ang HAPDI natitiis,
ang KATI ay hindi.”

*

Sino ang mas mahirap ang sitwasyon?
Ang NGONGO na
pinakanta sa
harapan ng
klase..

O ang mga
kaklaseng
nakikinig sa kanya
na ibabagsak daw
ng teacher
kapag tumawa?

*

A huge crowd gathered in front of a bookstore because of a spelling mistake.

"NEW Boobs are available for sale."

*

Height of Unreasonable Demand?
Two Black guys wearing Black suits,
Standing in front of a White Wall,
and asking for
a Color photograph.

*

Nakiligo ang isang babae sa kanyang kumare, pagkatapos maligo..
Mare1: "Mare, thank you ha.."
Mare2: "Ikaw naman mare para kang others, basta ikaw.."
Mare1: "Uy mare, ang bango pala ng sabon mo"
Mare2: "Alin dun?"
Mare1: "Yung ibon"
Mare2: "Ahh, yung Dove?"
Mare1: "Hindi, yung "Albatross"

*

ERIC: "Nahuli akong nangongopya sa katabi ko kanina."
JON: "Paano nangyari yon?"
ERIC: "Sa pagmamadali pati pangalan ng kaklase ko nakopya ko."

*

Difference between shit and oohh shit.
A boy threw a love letter to a girl but it fell on her brother
Shit!
And her brother was GAY.
Oohh shit!

*

JUAN: "Naka ilang boyfriends ka na ba?"
CHRISTINE: "Hmmm…mga 50 na."
JUAN: "Ganun?! UNLI ka pala!"
CHRISTINE: "Anong UNLI? unlimited?"
JUAN: "Hindi…UNLIB0G!"

*

I-translate in one English word ito: Malungkot Dahil sa Utang.                 
eh di. . . . . . .   LOANLY!

*

Breaking News:

Manny Pacquiao gets booed by fans in MGM Grand.
Jinky Pacquiao tried to show emotion but her face couldn’t move much (too much Belo Botox).

*

MAKABAGONG SAGISAG NG PINAS:
Pambansang ibon: ANGRY BIRD
Pambansang laro: DOTA
Pambansang hayop: IGLOT
Pambansang awit: PUSONG BATO
Pambansang sayaw: DOUGIE
Pambansang bayani: BUDOY

*

WIFE: "Dear, the computer is not responding to my commands!"
HUSBAND: "Darling… it’s not a husband."

*

TEACHER: "What’s the opposite of Laughing?"
STUDENT: "Fucking!"
TEACHER: "How’s that?"
STUDENT: "Laughing is ha, ha, ha.. and Fuckin is ah, ah, ah."

*

Kwentuhan sa Bilibid:
PRISON1: "Pre, nakita mo si GMA at suot nya sa ulo?"
PRISON2: "Oo nga, ano yon, pre?"
PRISON3: "Practice suit yon..
para electric chair."

*

 

oOo

“Laugh a lot and when you’re older all your wrinkles will be in the right place.”

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