Tuesday Humor

**Courtesy of Mike

"IYONG-IYO NA AKO!"
– Sabi ng ngongo pagkatapos nya
sumakay sa ROLLER COASTER!

Why Do Girls Attend Classes Regularly?
Because..
Missing of Periods Is A Sign Of Pregnancy.

A Boob and a Vagina were debating on who’s  the best of them.
BOOB: "I give milk to new born babies and I’m attracted to the opposite sex, that’s why I am the best."
VAGINA: "That’s nothing! I give birth and can accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the best!"
What do you think?

A guy went to a store and say, "Give me a condom!" Sales clerk: "Couldn’t you say that in a polite way?"
The guy unzipped his pants, lowered his brief and said, "Will you please give me a working suit for the gent?…"

A man to a Barber: Cut my hair short..
BARBER: "How short would you like it to be?"
MAN: "So short that my wife cannot pull them."

JUDGE: "You’re accused of LASCIVIOUSNESS, so you are fined P11,461.00!"
GUY: "Your honor, why EXACTLY P11, 461.00?"
JUDGE: "P10,000 for lasciviousness, 12% VAT plus 2.2% city entertainment tax."

A Communication Problem:
A man washed his pants and hung it to dry near a female neighbor’s panties…
He said, "Darling, remind me to rem0ve my Pants when y0u rem0ve y0ur panties.

Newton’s Third Sex Law:
1. A hole always attracts a pole.
2. Length of pole equal to depth of hole.
3. Up and down movement releases a lotion that increases the population.

Feminists have got it all wrong..
Men don’t see all women as sex objects…
Just the ones with cute tits and sexy asses.

If Abortion is Murder,
Then Masturbation is Genocide
and
Blow Job is Cannibalism.

Difference between U. S. and the Philippines…
In the U. S., you can Kiss in public but can’t Piss in public..
In the Philippines, you can Piss in public but you can’t Kiss in public.

"Why BUTTER is dangerous ? Because It’s Ment ti kill ya!

GF: "Babe ano gawa mo?"
BF: "Wala naman eto pagod at inaantok na, ikaw babe?"
GF: "Eto nasa club pinagmamasdan ka."

 

oOo

"Para kang bayad sa Jeep. Pinagpapasapasahan na lang."

 

2 thoughts on “Tuesday Humor

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.