M A R U I S M

It’s More Fun In The Philippines.

NANAY:"Anak kakain na, inihanda ko ang favorite mong ulam na me CHOP ang dulo!"
JUAN:"Wow!PORKCHOP po o LAMB CHOP?"
NANAY:"Hindi, KETCHOP! Eat na!"

Wife pointing to a couple next door says to her husband: "Look at him he kisses her all the time, why can’t you?"
HUSBAND: "I tried but she slapped me."

BINATA: “Ano ang kaibahan ng potato at mashed potato?”
DALAGA: “Itong panyo ko , PUTI TO. Itong damit ko, MAS PUTI TO.”

MRS:"Honey nakasara na ba PINTO?”
MR:"Oo!”

MRS:”Yung GRIPO?”
MR:"Oo!”
MRS:"Yung BINTANA?”
MR:"Oo!”
MRS:"Ano pa ba di nasasara?”
MR:"BIBIG mo na lang honey!”
MRS:Grr!

Palagi nating naririnig ito…
"Dapat ang piliin mong trabaho, yung talagang gusto mong gawin."
Kung naniwala lahat tayo dito, sigurado lahat tayo ay PORN STAR.

Sabi sa akin ng gym instructor “Dapat pinipili mo ang kinakain para hindi ka tumaba.”
Kaya sabi ko "nakakataba ba ang pekpek?"

What is Burning Desire while Making Love?
It’s when you realize..
Pau liniment was used in the dark instead of VASELINE!

WIFE: "Gusto mo bang magpadagdag ako ng boobs?"
HUSBAND: "Wag na. Okey na sa’kin yung dalawa."

Do you know why China has the world’s largest population?
Their condoms are "MADE IN CHINA".

WIFE: "Please buy me a dress."
HUSBAND: "Last night you were telling me you have no space for your clothes…"
WIFE: "Please buy a new closet as well…"

Kulangot at Tinga nagkita…
KULANGOT: "Oy! pare kamusta ka na?"
TINGA: "Uy, anong ginagawa mo dito, pre?"

6 was the original kings but only 3 reached Bethlehem.
1 went to U.S. & became Burger King.
and 2 to the Philippines to be Chow King & TapaKing. HAPPY 3 KINGS..

Pag retokada si Kim Chui ba agad? di ba pwedeng..
Jinky Pacquiao muna?

Sa jeep..
BATA: "Manong hindi pa po ba tayo aalis?"
DRIVER: "Maya maya pa, wala pang laman."
BATA: "Ano po tawag niyo saken? Sabaw?"

Sa jeep..
CALOY: "Para po!"
DRIVER: "May baba ba?"
CALOY: "Hindi, may aakyat! Second Floor ‘tong JEEP nyo eh.

oOo

“If you fall, i’ll be there.” -SAHIG