**courtesy of MIKE
BAHAY KUBO (2012 Version)
Bahay condo, kahit munti
Ang gadgets doon ay sari-sari
Flat screen na TV, blueray na DVD
iPod, iPad at iPhone
Laptop na malaki, laptop na maliit
At saka meron, portable MP3
Digicam, videocam, wifi at HD
Sa paligid-ligid ay puno ng charger.
Tsismis for the day:
Nag usap si Gloria Arroyo at Mike Arroyo.
GMA: "Kung mamatay man ako,gusto ko hndi R. I. P. ang nakasulat."
MIKE: "Bakit naman? ano gusto m0?"
GMA: "Gs2 ko,ilagay mo, J E S U S."
MIKE: "An0ng mer0n sa JESUS?"
GMA: "Eh di, Joseph Estrada See U Soon."
MIKE: "Grabe ka naman,pasko ngay0n. Wag naman ganyan. Ito nalang isulat mo, B A Y A N."
GMA: "Ano naman ibig sabihin nyan?"
MIKE: "Eh di, Benigno Aquino You Are Next."
WIKIPEDIA: "I know everything."
GOOGLE: "I have everything."
FACEBOOK: "I know everyone."
TWITTER: "I know what you all guys think."
INTERNET: "Goshh… Without me, you guys are nothing!"
MERALCO: "Yeah! Keep talking, without me you are silent!"
R. P.’s Most Beautiful Women in Shampoo Ads:
SUNSILK – Marian Rivera
PANTENE – Erich Gonzales
HEAD & SHOULDERS – Angel Locsin
REJOICE – Kim Chiu
PALMOLIVE – KC Concepcion
CLEAR – Piolo "PJ" Pascual
FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT:
An e-mail was recently sent out asking women to post the colour of their bra. THIS IS A VIRUS.
To fix this, you must remove your bra, then go to Settings > Enable Webcam > Record Movie.
1985..
GIRL: "Ma, can I wear jeans?"
MOM: "No sweetie, wear a suit. What will people say if you wear jeans?
2012..
GIRL: "Ma, can I wear mini skirts?"
MOM: "Wear it, at least you wore something!"
TATAY: "Hindi ka na nahiya na nag pa pictorial ka sa FHM magasin na halos hubo’t hubad! Meron pa bang mas nakakahiya dito?"
ANAK: "Meron po, ‘tay! Si nanay nandun din sa page 20!"
BOSS: "Why do you want a Leave tomorrow?"
MAN: "I’m eloping with my girlfriend."
BOSS: "Who is the idiot of a father of that stupid girl eloping with you?"
MAN: "She’s your daughter!"
MAN: "Nice dress!"
LADY: "Thanks!"
MAN: "Nice earrings!"
LADY: "Thank you!"
MAN: "Nice lipstick!"
LADY: "Thanks!"
MAN: "Nice Shoes!"
LADY: "Thanks!"
MAN: "But still you don’t look beautiful"
BEN: "Hello, 911?"
911: "Yes, what’s your emergency?"
BEN: "2 girls are fighting over me."
911: "What’s the problem with it, sir?"
BEN: "The ugly one is winning."
Bata, kauuwi galing school…
TATAY: "o, anu natutunan mo sa skul?"
ANAK: "tinuruan akong magsulat."
NANAY: "o anu sinulat mo?"
BATA: "ewan ko."
NANAY at TATAY: "ha? bakit di mo alam?"
BATA: "hindi niya naman ako tinuruan bumasa eh!"
Ang SEX parang magic..
may BABY na mag-a-APPEAR at ang TATAY na bigLaang mag-DiSAPPEAR.
BABAE: "Hon kinikilig ako pag kasama kita."
LALAKE: "Hon kinikilig din ako.."
BABAE: "pag kasama mo din ako?"
LALAKE: "Kinikilig ako pag umihi ako.."
BOY: "From the day I met you, I haven’t drank nor smoked…"
GIRL: "How sweet of you, you’re madly in love with me.."
BOY: "Shut up… you emptied my pockets!"
If a girl has 5000 likes in a photo and 4500 comments, what’s missing?
Her CLOTHES !:P
oOo
"Pag natikman muna ko siguradong babalik-balikan mo ‘ko lalo na kung hindi ka mahiyain." – FREE TASTING!
