Wednesday Humor 01.18.12

**Courtesy of Mike

tender-care-soap  Paano magpasaya ng babae:
1. Lambingin
2. Suyuin
3. Halikan
4. Patawanin
5. Unawain
6. Ingatan
7. Mahalin
Eh ang lalake, paano mapasaya? Wala.
SEX lang talaga!

safeguard-soapQUESTION: What is a Psychiatrist?
ANSWER: A qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, which your spouse gives you for free, daily!

Seven Stages of Women’s Life:
1. Infant
2. Baby
3. Miss
4. Very young woman
5. Young woman
6. Young woman
7. Young woman

Advantages of being a man:
1. People never glance at your chest while you’re talking to them.
2. Your ass is never a factor in job interview.
3. You can eat a banana in public.
4. The world is your urinal.
and the best one,
5. You can buy condoms without the pharmacist imagining you naked..

Height of Flirting:
GAL: "I don’t like the way you keep staring at me!"
GUY: "And I love the way you notice me doing that!"

Ang Lalaking Malibog
Parang Tetris
Patong Lang Nang Patong
HANGGANG SA MAKABUO!

In a class..
TEACHER: "HE does not like girls." What is "HE" in the sentence?"
STUDENT: "Gay."

Pag ba maamo sa ‘yo ang ungg0y
Mabait na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng
LUKSO NG DUGO muna?

MISTER: "Honey, bakit ganyan pa din ang balat mo? Di ba ibinili na kita ng Nivea Milk?"
MISIS: "Ewan ko nga ba honey, umiinom naman ako araw-araw!"

TANONG: Paano mo malalaman kung gutom o libog ang isang girl?
SAGOT: Bigyan mo ng pipino. tapos abangan mo kung saan nya ipapasok.. sa bibig sa itaas o sa bibig sa ibaba.

A guy was rejected at a job interview because when he was asked to give an example of good team work..
he replied, "GANG RAPE."

SCIENCE CLASS.
GURO:"Class, bakit gumagaan ang timbang ng tao sa buwan?"
JUAN:"Mam, kasi po walang makain doon! Ang layo po eh!"

Do you know what’s da difference of JOY from HAPPY?
Well..JOY is a dishwashing liquid while HAPPY is a toothpaste.

NOON: Ang mga lalaki.. nakatambay sa kanto para mag abang ng dadaan na chicks.
NGAYON: Sa facebook na sila nakatambay para mag add ng lahat ng makita nilang chicks

TATAY:"Anak, ano itong mga "F" sa mga subjects mo?"
JUAN: "Tay, yung iba po ay FASS at yung iba po ay FERFECT!"
TATAY:"Wow, talino ng anak ko!"

Thought of the day:
Give a man a fish and he can feed himself for a day.
Teach a man how to fish and he can feed himself for a lifetime.
Make him eat a pussy that smells like a dead fish and he will never eat fish ever again. 😛

 

oOo

"Lahat tayo ay may problema, pagandahan na lang ng pagdadala."

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