Friday Humor 01.20.12

**Courtesy of Mike

promo PARE1: “Pwede bang inumin ang tubig dito?”
PARE2: “Bakit naman hindi? Tubig yan, natural iniinom alangan namang kinakain!”
PARE1: “Eh baka kasi marumi.”
PARE2: “Tanga, e di hugasan mo!”

In a classroom, a student was praying..
TEACHER: “Why are you praying before we start our lesson?”
BOY: “Mom told me that before sleeping you must pray!”

Sa klinik..
SEKSING GIRL: “Dok, maliit ang boobs ko. Tulungan mo ako!”
DOK: “Sige, punta ka rito araw-araw! Sisipsipin ko para lumaki!”
SEKSING GIRL: “Sige, Dok! Pagkatapos ko, mister ko naman. Kasi, maliit ang ari niya!”

WIFE: “Where is my birthday gift?”
HUSBAND: “You see that red Ferrari car on the other side of the road?”
WIFE: (excited) “Ohh yes!”
HUSBAND: “I have bought Same color of nail polish for you!”

Mag se-sex ang dalawang mag asawa
MISTER: “Honey, palitan mo naman ang panty mo nakakasawa na!”
MISIS: “Tumahimik ka na nga diyan! Ito ang paborito ng pare mo!”

If someone tells you you’re ugly.. well, just be nice and say..
Excuse me…
I’m not your mirror..!”

A smart answer given by a guy when asked, “How do you feel when a woman gives you a flying kiss?”
MAN: “I hate such lazy woman!”

In an African safari, a lion suddenly pounced on a guy’s wife.
WIFE: “Shoot him! Shoot him!”
GUY: “Yes, Yes…I’m changing the battery of my camera!”

Definition of a Woman–
Someone who talks for hours while standing at your door,
But won’t sit down
She is getting late!

Erap went to police headquarters to apply for a job as detective.
POLICE SUPERINTENDENT: “Before I give you a job, I will ask you some questions. Who killed Ninoy Aquino?”
ERAP: “Thank’s for giving me the job. I will investigate immediately!”

LADY: “My husband has the habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him?”
DOCTOR: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he’s awake!”

Nagkita sa mall ang magkumpare..
PARE1: “Oy, pare! Kamusta? Long time no see! San ka nagwo-work ngayon?”
PARE2: “Nasa NBI ako ngayon, pare.”
PARE1: “Wow! NBI! Ano ka dun?”
PARE2: “Janitor”

A man buys pair of chinese x-ray glasses. He sees everyone naked. He takes it off for a moment & everyone has clothes on. At home he finds his wife in bed with another guy, naked. He takes off the glasses and sees both are still naked. He says, “damn these chinese products, within 10 minutes they stop working!”

Hindi porke’t naka-braces ka ibig sabihin maganda ka na..
sadyang strict lang ang parents mo na pati ngipin mo ay may bakod na.

Walang Pangit na FACE…
Kapag Kita ang CLEAVAGE.

WIFE: “What is ten years with me?”
HUSBAND: “a second.”
WIFE: “What is 10,000 bucks for me?”
HUSBAND: “A coin.”
WIFE: “OK, give me a coin.”
HUSBAND: “Wait a second..”

Believe in LOVE. It has the greatest power..
It can remove stress, confusion, anxiety, worries, doubts, fears, t-shirts, jeans, skirts, shorts, bras, panties & briefs.
Ano pa ba?

Bakit mga ang balita puro tungkol kay CORONA , hindi ba pwedeng SASH muna ?




“Ang mga mahal na bag, may binabagayan na mukha” – Julia Montes, Mara Clara (2011)

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