Saturday Humor 02.04.12

**Courtesy of Mike

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Women’s Valentine’s Preparation List:
Get hair done
Get new makeup
Buy new bra
Get new dress
Manicure & pedicure

Men’s Valentine’s Preparation List:
Buy Condoms
Shower

Mga PAMALIT sa nakasanayang PAGMUMURA:
1. “Full tank naman, eh!”
2. “Gatas ng ina mo!”
3. “Kinang n’yan!”
4. “Full tank enough!”
5. “Anak ng pizza naman o!”
6. “Talentado ka, ha?”

Sa isang sosyal na hotel sa U.S., tumawag ng room service si Mommy Dionesia..
MOMMY D: “Give me some pepper!”
HOTEL CLERK: “Black pepper, green pepper or red pepper?”
MOMMY D: “No! Twelet pepper!”

Kumakanta si misis habang naliligo..
MISTER: “Babe, dapat sumali ka sa contest sa TV.”
MISIS: “Yung pilipinas got talent?”
MISTER: “Hindi, biggest loser!”

HUBBY: “Baby, where are you going?”
WIFE: “Committing suicide!”
HUBBY: “So, why so much makeup?”
WIFE: “Because in tomorrow’s newspapers my pictures will appear.”

LALAKE: “Dok, liit ng bird ko. May gamot bang maiinom?”
DOK: “Walang gamot dyan.”
LALAKE: :Ano marerekomenda nyo?”
DOK: “Humanap ka ng sobrang pangit na shota para wala syang maisumbat.”

BOY: “Miss, dagat ka ba?”
GIRL: “Luma na yan. dahil gusto mo ko sisirin?”
BOY: “Hindi, kapal mo ha. Dahil amoy isda pekpek mo!”

THE EGG -Ito ang mga bagay na mas nakakalamang ka sa kanila…kaya THE EGG mo sila!

TANONG: Ano ba ang mixed emotions?
SAGOT: Yun ‘yong nahulog ang biyenan mong babae mula sa ika-sampu na palapag ng gusali tapos bumagsak sa brand new mong Chedeng.

Accounting student at HRM student nag-uusap:
HRM: “Pahiram ng calculator.”
ACCOUNTING: “Wala kong dala eh.”
HRM: Anong klase kang acctg student, alam mo naman na importante yan sa course mo.”
ACCOUNTING: “Eh kung hanapan kita ng kaserola, kalan, sandok, plato! may dala ka ba?!”

TANDAAN:
Kapag alam mong iiwan ka na, huwag mo nang pagtakangkaang habulin pa dahil masaktan ka’t ikamatay mo pa! – Administration ng MRT at LRT

Sa Valentine’s…
Holding Hands Kami ni MOUSE at Eye To Eye Kami ni COMPUTER! Oh di ba, edi Complete na!

Nakakamiss yung nakaupo ka sa CR tapos sisigaw ka ng…
“MAMA!!! Tapos naaaa!!”

 

oOo

“Suplado ka noon, maglaway ka ngayon.”

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