Wednesday Humor 02.08.12

**Courtesy of Mike

picc-j0b5ca0pd-224774-320-344 BOY: "Kili-kili mo parang cake.."
GIRL: "Bakit? Malambot ba?"
BOY: "Hindi BLACK FOREST!"
GIRL: "Mukha mo parang ice cream!"
BOY: "Hindi naman. Bakit nakakatunaw ba?"
GIRL: "Hindi! ROCKY ROAD!"

Sa isang Ob-Gyne clinic sa Manila.
GUY: "Miss, mag-aapply po ako na gyne aide."
MISS: "Ok. Fill-up mo itong application."
GUY: "Ano po ba ang work ng gyne aide."
MISS: "Ang gyne ay doktor ng pekpek. Puro babae ang pasyente. Kaya bago ang chek up, huhubaran mo ang babae, lilinisin mo yung pekpek, sasabunin mo, kukuskusin, babanlawan at pupunasan. Pwede mo rin amuyin muna para sure na mabango. 40,000 pesos ang sweldo."
GUY: "Sana matanggap ako."
MISS: "Kelangan mo pumunta ng Baguio."
GUY: "Dun po ba yung trabaho?"
MISS: "Hindi, dun ang dulo ng pila ng applicants!"

Bad trip moments:
malaki nga ang boobs mo…
lalake ka naman.

At the Senate…
ENRILE: "This proceeding will be historic. If we fail in this task, all will be asking, ‘Where is justice?""
LAPID: "Isang tanong lang po your honor..sino yong mawawalang huwes?"

A Woman’s Preparation Before Going To A Party:
– Eye liner
– Lip gloss
– Lip stick
– Shampoo
– Hair dye
– Choose a dress out of a hundred
and tells a friend.. "didn’t get much time to prepare myself!"

BUYER TO SEXY CAR SALESLADY: "Do you have BMW in clitoric pink or anal brown?"
SALESLADY: (irritated) "No. We have pubic black, menstrual red, spermy white & nipple brown!"

Kung mahal ka talaga ng BF mo, hindi ka nya iiwan at wala siyang ibang gustong BAGUHIN sa ‘yo kundi..

Apelyido mo 🙂

AMO: "Inday! bago ka lumabas i-lock muna ang pinto ha?"
INDAY: "Opo mam!"
(ilang segundo ang lumipas)
AMO: "’Bat di ka pa umaalis?"
INDAY: "Mam nakalock po kasi ang pinto, diba pinapalock niyo bago lumabas?"

"I’ve had three bunches of flowers delivered today," a wife giggled, "Was it you?"
"Of course, it was babe,"
the husband replied, "You know I like to treat my wife every now and then."
"They must have cost you a fortune,
" she said.
"Nah, I just told few of the neighbors that your mother died."

Sa Valentine’s…
Holding Hands Kami ni MOUSE at Eye To Eye Kami ni COMPUTER! Oh di ba, edi Complete na!!

 

oOo

"Samahan ng Delikadesa ang Kati."

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