Friday Humor 05.11.12

keep flushingBOY: "Alam mo, ang ganda mo."
GIRL: "Ano baaaa! Hindi naman eh."
BOY: "Pucha! Eh di WAG!"

QUESTION: Biglang kumidlat ano ang gagawin mo?
GENIUS: "Takip tenga, kukulog e!"
PLAYBOY: "Yakap syota, score un eh!"
ASTIG: "Ala lang, matapang ako eh"
BOBO: "Ngingiti, picture taking eh!"

PEDRO:"Ang lolo ko napatay nya 100 hapon nung WWII!"
MAX:"Ang lolo ko,napatay nya 500 hapon!"
JUAN:"Yung lolo ko 2 lang,napatay nya mga lolo nyo!"

WHAT IF CONYO LAHAT NG NASA PINAS?
MAGNANAKAW1: "Holdap, make bigay all your thingies! Donít make galaw or I will make tusok you!"
MAGNANAKAW2: "Make suko, we made you napaligiran!"
IMPEACHMENT TRIAL: "You are so asar! Iím galit na to you."
RALIYISTA: "Letís make baka, donít be takot! Donít be sossy, join the rally!"
NEWSCASTER: "Oh my gosh, I have hot balita to everyone!"
PASAHERO1: "Sir, payment!"
PASAHERO2: "Manong, faster please! Iím nagmama-hurry!"
CUSTOMER: "Pa-buy ng water, yung naka sachet! (ice tubig)"
KARPINTERO: "Can I hammer na the pokpok?"
TSISMOSA1: "I was like this, he was like all that, and I was like whatís your problem?"
TSISMOSA2: "OMG that is like sooo sad!"
MAGTATAHO: "Taho! Make bili na while itís init, Iíll make it with extra sago!"
BUMIBILI NG TAHO: "Is it sarap? Pwede pa-have?"
PULUBI: "knock knock, pa-beg!"
JANITOR: "Ekkkk! kill the ipis, please donít step on it ha, I donít like to feel the sound!"

FROG : "Oh my fairy, what does my future hold?"
FAIRY : "Youíll meet someone who wants to know you, eeverything about you."
FROG : "Yeah, Great! Will I meet her in a party?"
FAIRY : "No, in Biology class."

Height of Technical Overdose..
A computer software engineer was falling from the roof of a building. He shouted F1, F1, F1, instead of Help, Help, Help.

Ang virginity ay parang pera…
mas masayang ipamigay kaysa itago!

Women are like fruits..
Different shapes and tastes..
But the problem is that men want Fruit Salad!

Kung ikaw may mahal, tumawa ka! Kung ikaw may mahal, tumawa ka! Kung ikaw ay may mahal, buhay mo ay sisigla, kung ikaw ay may mahal, MAHAL KA BA?

KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE:
KUYA: "Knock! Knock!"
MAMA: "Come in!"

BASAG!

PEDRO:"Bahay ng lolo ko worth P3M!"
MAX:"Sa lolo ko P10M!"
JUAN:"Bubong ng lolo ko P200M!"
MAX:"Ha?San ba nkatira lolo mo?"
JUAN:"Sa ilalim ng tulay!"

 

oOo

"Minsan, may mga taong hindi mo inaasahang darating. Kaya magsasaing ka ulit dahil kulang ang kanin."

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