Saturday Humor 12.29.12

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Pag-uwi ni Mister galing trabaho, agad-agad na inamoy ni Misis ang damit ni Mister…
MISIS: “Tangina, bakit palaging amoy-babae ang mga damit mo?”
MISTER: “Natural… tindero kaya ako ng isda!”

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GIRL: “Ano ang tagalog ng clitoris?”
BOY: “Hmm… ahh… di ko maaalala pero nasa dulo ng dila ko yun kagabi.”

TEACHER: “Magbigay ng psychological abnormalities.”
GIRL: “Nymphomaniac.”
TEACHER: “Ano ang nymphomaniac?”
GIRL: “Babaeng adik sa sex.”
TEACHER: “Very good.”
GIRL: “Question po mam.”
TEACHER: “Ano?”
GIRL: “Kung ang babaeng adik sa sex ay nymphomaniac, ano po ang tawag sa lalaking adik sa sex?”
TEACHER: “Normal.”

Christmas is truly a magical time..
It made all my money disappear. :)

Tumawag si Misis sa opisina ni Mister.
MISIS: “Woohoo swithart, nakahubad ako ngayon.”
MISTER: “Sabihin ko sa boss ko na masama pakiramdam ko.”
MISIS: “Wow para makauwi ka at i-sex ako?”
MISTER: “Hindi, nasusuka ako sa sinabi mo. Masama talaga pakiramdam ko.”

MAN: “Hey, can I use your paintball gun?”
WIFE: “What paintball gun?”
MAN: “You know, the one you used to do your makeup.”

MISIS: “Lasing ka na naman?!”
MISTER: “Sorry, hon. Inimbita ako ng mga officemates ko. Konting inuman.”
MISIS: “Tanga! Anong officemates? Tricycle driver ka, gago!”

Grammar Lesson:
If more than One mouse is Mice..
Then more than One Spouse is Spice! :D

GIRL1: “I didn’t sleep with my husband before we were married, did you?”
GIRL2: “I don’t know. What’s your husband’s name again?”

Advantage ng may asawa:
Pag kailangan mo nandiyan agad.
Disadvantage:
Kahit di mo na kailangan, nandiyan pa rin.

TATAY: “Anak, ang kapal na ng balbas mo ah..”
ANAK: “Oo nga dad eh, style yan!”
TATAY: “Ulol! pang burocha mo lang yan kay girlfriend mo.”

Sa barbershop.
BOY: “Pa-trim po ako..”
BARBERO: “Ah, bawasan lang natin ‘no?”
BOY: “Nasa sayo po kung gusto mong dagdagan!”

GIRL: “I’m 16 and my boyfriend is 40, is that BAD?”
MOTHER: “You spelled DAD incorrectly!”

TEACHER: “Who is the president of Syria?”
JUAN: “I don’t know ma’am.”
TEACHER: “You need to focus on your studies.”
JUAN: “Ma’am, can I ask a question?”
TEACHER: “Yes..”
JUAN: “Do you know Angela?”
TEACHER: “No, why?”
JUAN: “You need to focus more on your husband.”

SON: “Dad, yesterday, I save a girl from being raped..”
DAD: “Good! That’s my boy, I am proud of you… but how did you do it?”
SON: “I convinced her!”

 

** All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“Kung ramdam mong ayaw na sa �yo, iwan mo na.”

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