Tuesday Humor 02.26.13

“Mga kababayan, kung ako ang iboboto nyo, ipapaayos ko lahat ng sirang daan!”

sira-sirang daan

P1: “Knock knock!”
P2: “Who’s there?”
P1: “Russian patay.”
P2: “Russian patay who?”
P1: “Wise men say only fools Russian, patay can’t help falling in love with you.”

P1: “Knock knock!”
P2: “Who’s there?”
P1: “Lactum.”
P2: “Lactum who?”
P1: “I lactum move it move it. I lactum move it move it.”

P1: “Knock knock!”
P2: “Who’s there?”
P1: “Come back to me.”
P2: “Come back to me who?”
P1: “Come back to me-bok ang puso wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito.”

DONYA: “Inday, nilinis mo na ba ng maigi yung keyboard?”
INDAY: “Opo ate. Inayos ko na rin po ng from A to Z. Ang gulo kasi ng mga letra.”

joke_keyboard

JUAN: “Away kami ni misis kagabi, nagdilim paningin ko!”
MAX: “Sinaktan mo?”
JUAN: “Sinakal ako, NAGDILIM PANINGIN KO, nawalan ako ng malay!”

PEDRO: "Ang galing mag-MAGIC ng tatay ko. Kapag hinatak niya ‘yong belt niya, nagiging panyo."
JUAN: "Mas magaling ang tatay ko.
Kapag hinatak niya ‘yong belt niya…
… NAWAWALA AKO!"

MRS: "Honey nakasara na ba PINTO?"
MR: "Oo!"
MRS: "Yung GRIPO?"
MR: "Oo!"
MRS: "Yung BINTANA?"
MR: "Oo!"
MRS: "Ano pa ba di nasasara?"
MR: "BIBIG mo na lang honey!"

TEACHER: "If a=b and b=c then a=c, now Juan, bigyan mo ako ng practical na halimbawa sa totoong buhay."
JUAN: "If I love you sir and you love your daughter, then I love your daughter…"

TEACHER: "Class, use “veteran” in a sentence..
MANNY: "I mam, I mam!
TEACHER: "Ok… Manny!
MANNY: "Wen u’re caught by ur wife having SEX with ur Girpren… U VETERAN!!!"

 

** Jokes courtesy of W.

 

oOo

“Kapag ako kumandidato, libreng lovelife para sa lahat.”

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