Sunday Humor 03.10.13

viagra

  Sign above a urinal:
    "If your hose is short & your pump is weak, better stand close or you’ll wet your shoes!"
    Paid ad by: VIAGRA "Keeps you going strong."

Do you know that awkward moment when your dentures fall out of your mouth when you’re talking to someone.

  •  

Ad seen at a Pet Supplies Mart:
    “Does your Pussy need some Oral care?”

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive…
    try missing a couple of loan installment payments.

"Optical Rectumitis"
    When the nerve of your ass gets tangled up with the nerve in your eye and you get a shitty outlook on life!

  It’s always darkest before the dawn.
    So if you are going to steal a neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it!

A guy recently attended a meeting of the International Singles Club in San Francisco. He met a Chinese lady who’s a dentist.
    She has perfect teeth, which started the guy thinking: All dentists from all cultures apparently have perfect teeth.
    He’s now lookin for a Gyne for his next girlfriend.

AMA: “Ang panahon talagang nagbago na…” 
ANAK: “Bakit po, ‘Tay?” 
AMA: “Noon, magnanakaw muna bago tumakbo. Ngayon, tumatakbo muna bago magnakaw.. Ingat lang, marami sila sa 2013.”

POLICE: “Please step out of the car, sir.” 
DRIVER: “I can’t, officer! I’m drunk. You get in!”

Have you wonder at Hooters’ (U.S. resto known for lady waiters with revealing outfits) job interview if they give the applicant a bra and say, "Here, fill this out."

Two Pinoy missionaries in Africa were caught by a tribe of cannibals and placed in a large cauldron with a fire under it. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries laughed uncontrollably.   The other one was furious and said, "We’re being boiled alive! What’s so funny at a time like this?"
    The other replied, "Inihian ko ang soup nila!"

WAITRESS: “Have I kept you waiting long.” 
CUSTOMER: “No, but did you know there are 3, 292 squares on the ceiling?”

Quote:
    “Malalaman mo ang sugat ay gumagaling na kapag kumakati diba.
    Kaya pala kapag heartbroken ka, malalaman mo gumagaling ka na kapag kumakati ka na.”

Quote:
    “Ang Malandi parang Gripo…
    Hindi titigil hangga’t di mo pinapatay!”

 

** All above jokes courtesy of Mike B.

 

oOo

“Ang Pride ng lalaki ay mas malaki pa sa universe, pero kasing rupok ng itlog.”

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge