Monday Humor 05.06.13

touching moment

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GIRL: "Hoy ano ba? Nakakainis ka na!"
BOY: "Bakit? Inaano ba kita?"
GIRl: "Yun nga eh! Wala kang ginagawa!"
BOY:"Kaya nga! Wala akong ginagawa tapos maaasar ka. Bakit ba?"
GIRL: "E kasi mahal na kita! Ano? Manliligaw ka ba?"

GIRL: "Uy HARLEM SHAKE tayo?"
BOY: "Ay wag na."
GIRL: "Oh? Bakit?"
BOY: "Baka kasi mahal yun. Coke Float na lang."

BABAE: "Ano fav song mo?
LALAKE: "Yung "i’ll be over you" pero gusto ko yung pinoy version."
BABAE: "Meron ba nun?"
LALAKE: "Oo, "papatong ako sa’yo!""

Mas masaya ang buhay ng green minded…
NANAY: "KC, kakain ka ng itlog?"
KC: "OO! Hihihi.."

Huwag kang mamroblema kung bakit maitim ka, isipin mo nalang na sa sobrang hot mo pati balat mo TOSTADO!

Habang naglalakad..
LALAKE: "Babe, sabi nung apat na babae dun pag kasama daw kita, mukha daw akong magsasaka."
BABAE: (blushing, feeling ganda) "Talaga? Bakit naman nila nasabi yun?
LALAKE: "Kasi mukha ka daw BAKA."

Dear P-Noy,
Pakisara po lahat ng hotels, motels at inns!
Diyan po kasi nagmumula ang mga ILLEGAL NA PAPUTOK!
Gumagalang,
BOCAUE FIRECRACKER MANUFACTURERS ASSOCIATION

JUAN: "Pare, kailan mo balak bayaran yung utang mong P64?"
PABS: "O eto P100, may P36 ka?"
JUAN: "Wala eh, pero may P50 ako, may P14 ka?"
PABS: "Wala rin eh. may P20 ako dito may P6 ka?"
JUAN: "May P10 ako, may P4 ka?"
PABS: "May P5 ako, may piso ka?"
JUAN: "Oo, eto meron."
(Pabs binayad P5, Juan nagbigay ng piso)
PABS: "Yan ha, wala na akong utang."
JUAN: "Sige pare, salamat ha!"

GIRL1: "I spent my summer vacation in Europe! It’s so beautiful there! Ikaw, friend, saan ka nagbakasyon?"
GIRL2: "Ako? Wala. Dito lang sa Pilipinas."
GIRL1: "Really? Where in the Philippines?"
GIRL2: "At your boyfriend’s bed! Grabe! He’so great! Punta ka ulit sa Europe, friend!"

O’Donnell walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S’cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what O’Donnell had done, "what was that all about?"
"Nothin,’
said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives but never specified where I get them!"

ALEK: "Kaya ayaw ko mag be-best friend ng babae eh, andaming requests… may hidden agenda pa."
MET: "Ayaw mo nun? Libreng Chansing?"
ALEK: "Hahaha… Not worth it!"
MET: "Bakit wala ba masyadong makapa? Hahaha…"
ALEK: "No comment ako diyan!"
MET: "Choosy ka pa ah!"

 

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.

oOo

”You make me smile when nobody else can.”

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