Wednesday Monday 06.05.13

granny panty

Dalawang magshota sa Starbucks..
BOY: "Ang ganda mo talaga."
GIRL: "Hmmp… bakit ka nakatingin sa bubs ko?"
BOY: "Hindi ah, napayuko lang e."
GIRL: "Siguro bubs ko lang nagustuhan mo sakin."
BOY: "Hindi totoo yan."
GIRL: "Ano nagustuhan mo sakin?"
BOY: "Yung eyes mo."
GIRL: "Sige na, ano kulay ng contacts ko kahapon?"
BOY: "Dilaw."
GIRL: "Gago, bra ko kaya yun!"

Today’s Realities:
BOY: "I may not have expensive cars, houses, & may not be as rich as John, but I do love you & care for you."
GIRL, teary-eyed, hugged him tightly & whispered, "If you really love me.. introduce me to John!"

Ayon sa pananaliksik, kapag tumitig ka sa dede ng isang babaeng di mo kakilala sa loob ng 15 minutes, may posibilidad na magkaroon ka ng black eye.

QUESTION: Can a woman make you a millionaire?
ANSWER: Yes, but only if you are a billionaire!

Power of Math:
One day, a box can’t be opened..
Lawyer applied all laws but wasn’t able to open it.
Chemist came, applied all formulas but wasn’t able to open it..
Physician applied applied all force but wasn’t able to open it.
Then Mathematician said..
"Let us assume the box is open."

When a friend invited a man to go bungee jumping, he refused, saying, "I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I’m not leaving because of another one."

RICK: “I’m ready for a holiday, only this year, I’m going to do it a bit different. Three years ago, I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago, I went to Italy and Mary God pregnant. Last year, I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.”
MARK: “So what are you going to do this year?”
RICK: “I’ll take her with me!”

A Jeepney Sign:
The DRIVER is NOT
liable for anything
LOST inside this vehicle.
Including
VIRGINITY.

Pare1: "Pare, iniisip ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon magkaibigan pa rin tayo."
Pare2: "Ako din nagtataka, kasi isipin mo nakipagsex ako sa gf mo at ikaw nakipagsex din sa gf ko."
Pare1: "Pare, nakipagsek din ako sa tita mo."
Pare2: "Ok lang kasi nakipagsex naman ako sa nanay mo."
Pare1: "Ako din sa nanay mo kasama pa ate mo."
Pare2: "Ako sa bunso mo naman."
Pare1: "Pare, ako yung panganay na anak mo nakasex ko na din."
Pare2: "Pareho tayo, ako yung pangalawang anak mo naman."
PAALALA: Mga aso ang nag-uusap, hindi tao!

Lumabas si misis galing shower na nakasuot ng towel lang. Pumasok naman si mister sa c.r. para umihi. Biglang may nag doorbell at pinuntahahan ni misis kung sino. Pagbukas ni misis, nakatayo si Juan na kapitbahay nila.
JUAN: "Witwiwww! bigyan kita P10,000 pag tinanggal mo ang towel mo."
Di nagdalawang isip si misis at naghubad nga. Napalaway si Juan sa magandang katawan ni misis at umalis. Pagsarado ng pinto..
MISTER: "Sino yun?"
MISIS: "Ay si Juan napadaan lang."
MISTER: "Ay oo! binigay niya sayo yung P10,000 na bayad sa utang niya?"

"DONE SIR"  -  Sila yung mga taong marunong at mahilig sumayaw. DONE-SIR!

 

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.

 

oOo

“You don’t really move on. You just get used to the pain until it hurts no more."