Tuesday Humor 06.25.13

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Pinakamadaling paraan ng VEGETARIAN DIET:
1. Ipakain ang gulay sa baboy.
2. Katayin ang baboy at iluto.
3. Ulamin ang baboy.

Teacher: "Juan, na saan ang assignment mo sa Math?"
Juan: "Nag suicide na po, ang dami kasi niyang problema."

Couples who have been married for a long time start finishing off each other’s sentences.
The most popular ending being "shut up."

Marilyn Monroe was the world’s famous sex icon. Her tummy isn’t tightly toned, her thighs touch, her breasts aren’t perky, her arms aren’t skinny and she has stretch marks. She was known as one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN in history. Take heart, girls! You are hot, sexy and a Marilyn!

CUSTOMER: "Waiter, bakit IBA itong ADOBO dun sa inorder ko last month?"
WAITER: "Di totoo yan sir, dahil yan pa din yung last month!"

Long ago, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot to eat, forgot laughter is called a "Saint."
But now it’s called… "Call Center Agent."

KASABIHAN:
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back… they were really GUILTY the first time!" – JAIL WARDEN

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