Nakaupong dalaga kumakanta sa park.
LALAKE: "Ahh, miss, excuse me. Sa Pilipinas Got Talent ka kaya kumanta."
DALAGA: "Talaga? Ganun na ba ako kagaling?"
LALAKE: "Hindi, at least sa PGT, pwede kong patayin ang telebisyon!"
GIRL1: "Uy sis! Pwede pa text?"
GIRL2: "Sure sis!"
GIRL1: "Naks! Taray naka Iphone 5 ka!"
GIRL2: "Syempre umuunlad eh."
GIRL1: "Sis, tapos na, saan ko isesend? Sa SIM 1 o SIM 2?"
A woman found a magic lamp and when she rubbed it, a genie came out asking what are her wishes. She replied:
"I want my husband to have eyes only for me.
I mant to be the only one in his life.
I want him to sleep always by my side.
I want that when he gets up in the morning, I’m the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes."
The genie turned her into a Smart Phone!
"I’m gonna wear this shirt that shows 3/4 of my boobs. Then I’m gonna call you a pervert for looking."
Wrestling is obviously fake.
Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Magshota ginamit ang word na "hamburger" na code para di malaman ng parents nila na nagsesex sila.
GF: "Ma, punta lang ako kay BF, kakain kami ng hamburger."
MAMA: "Sige, anak, ingat."
Paguwi ni GF..
GF: "Ma, ang sarap talaga ng hamburger."
MAMA: "Napansin ko nga, anak. May Mayonnaise ka pa sa labi."
WIFE: "Just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it."
HUSBAND: "Well, honey, in many cultures, insects are actually dietary staples and are pure protein."
A man consults a shrink.
MAN: "Doctor, every night my wife goes to a pub and sleeps with anyone who proposes to her…"
SHRINK: "Relax, take a deep breath, calm down and now tell me..
Thought for the monsoon season:
Avoid meeting your girlfriend during monsoon, or you risk making her…
Life is all about Ups and Downs..
Up with the Bra,
Down with the Briefs..
Sabi ng taxi driver pagkatapos "maholdap" ng pokpok..
"Di bale nang nalimas, basta nakalamas."
** All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.
“Minsan kailangan mong matutong bumitaw. Mas okay maging malungkot ng panandalian kaysa naman magmukha kang tanga pangmatagalan.”