Thursday Humor 10.17.13

UyAy

GUY: “You look exactly like my wife!”
LADY: “Ohhh… What’s your wife’s name?”
GUY: “I’m not married yet!”

LESSON: Learn new ways to propose.

October 15 was Global Handwashing Day.
Since Janet Lim Napoles’ racket was exposed though, some prominent people
have been observing this… everyday!

Janet Lim Napoles must adopt Zacheus’ formula – “If I have defrauded anyone of anything I will payback 4x as much.”

Women and Truth are Exactly Alike..
They are Both Best when they are Naked!

A husband frantically calls the front desk from his hotel room, “Please come
fast, I’m having an argument with my wife and she said she would jump out
the window!”
The manager replied, “Sir, that’s a personal matter.”
The husband screams, “The window won’t open and that’s a maintenance
problem!”

Tutal NO BRA DAY ngayon,
ngayon ka mag-selfie nang mag-selfie.
Para mas matuwa naman ang kalalakihan.

Ilocano in Manila goes to bar for good time. He picks up a GRO & brings her to
a motel. He then takes off his shirt showing his big muscles..
GRO: “What huge muscles you have!”
ILOCANO: “Everything is big in Ilocos!”
He takes off his brief & shows his 9-inch dick.
GRO: “What a big dick!”
ILOCANO: “I told you everything is big in Ilocos!”
After a few minutes of sex, ILOCANO asks:
“Are you from Ilocos, too?”

Bumili si Jun ng 5 BACK issues ng Playboy sa Recto, P10 lang isa.
Next day GALIT na bumalik siya.
JUN: “Bakit NAKATALIKOD ang mga model?”
SELLER: “Di ba, BACK issues.”

A line written at the back of a biker’s shirt:
“If you are able to read this, it means my wife fell off… Please tell me…”

A man was shaving his beard while his wife was shaving her pubes.
HUSBAND: “I have an appraisal meeting with my boss for promotion. I have to look good.”
WIFE: “Same here!”

C. R. Sign:
IF AT FIRST you don’t succeed…
KEEP FLUSHING!

Ang “M.U.” ay isang
“M”aguLong “U”sapan..
Hindi Kayo Pero Parang Kayo..

May Mga Tawagan..
Pero Walang Commitment..

Pedeng MagSelos..
Pero Bawal MagReklamo..
Pedeng Masaktan..
Pero Bawal Manumbat..

at Dahil “M.U.” Lang Kayo..

“M”asarap Sa “U”mpisa Pero..
“M”asakit “U”masa..

Pero Ngayon Ang
“M.U.” Talaga Ay..

“M”agandang “U”maga na lang. 😛

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“One of the most amazing feelings in the world is having someone fall in love with you who you thought you never had a chance with.”

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