Thursday Humor 02.27.14

dicky

Dalawang bata nagkukulitan sa simbahan habang nagmimisa…
BATA1: “Knock! Knock!”
BATA2: “Who’s There?”
BATA1: “Ben 10”
BATA2: “Ben 10 who?”
BATA1: (Sabay kanta) “Happy Ben 10 to you! Happy Ben 10 to you! Happy Ben 10 Happy Ben 10!”

FRIEND:  Sasamahan kang matulog.
BESTFRIEND:  Pipicture-an kang natutulog. Ita-timing pa nila kapag naka-nganga ka.

W0RDS 0F WISD0M:

  1. Ang buhay ay parang bato… Very hard.
  2. Behind the clouds are other clouds.
  3. Pag may usok…may nag-iihaw.
  4. Pag may isinuksok at walang madukot…may katabi kang mandurukot.
  5. Huli man at magaling, undertime pa rin.
  6. Pag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na.
  7. When it rains,  it floods.
  8. An apple a day is too expensive.
  9. Aanhin pa ang damo kung ang garden mo ay sementado!

The pastor announces…
“If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left.”
All the men in the church moved to the left except one.
The pastor was amused & asked,
“How come your wife can’t control you?”
The husband quietly said,
“Pastor,my wife told me not to move.”

Ilang salita ng ibang lalake at ang ibang kahulugan nito.
1. Ewan = di ako interesado.
2. Ang ganda mo = crush kita.
3. May mens ka pa? = kung may mens ka, next week na lang tayo magkita. kung wala, kita tayo mamaya.
4. Gano kayo katagal ng mga naging bf mo? = virgin ka pa?
5. Tara inom tayo. = gusto kita lasingin, dahil alam ko pag naka inom ka, madali kang malibugan at mahihirapan ka na pumalag pag titirahin na kita.
6. Ano number mo? = para makausap kita lagi at malandi kita.. baka sakaling maka-score.
7. Ang hot mo = nakaka libog ka :p

If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls to your cell phone, post their number on Sulit.Com with the ad, “iPhone 5S for one peso only.”

Kung asaran ng mga lalake, “Ahh.. Supot,” dapat meron din sa babae,
“Ah… Laspag.”

A boss texted an employee, “Send me one of your funny jokes.”
The employee replied, “I’m working at the moment, I will send you one later.”
The boss texted back, “That was fantastic, send me another one!”

Si BF at GF nasa mall nang may nakasulubong silang seksing chick na halos luwa ang boobs. Padating sa harapan nila, nalaglag ang cell phone nito. Yumuko ang chick para damputin at tinuloy ang paglakad.
GF: “Tiningnan mo siya ano nung yumuko?”
BF: “Hindi.”
GF: “Kunwari ka pa. Tiningnan mo siya eh.”
BF: “Hindi nga, ano ka ba?”
GF: “Sinungaling ka! Kayo talagang mga lalake!”
BF: ” Sinabi na ngang hindi eh.”
GF: “Talaga? Buti di mo nakita yung allergy niya.”
BF: ” Hindi allergy yun. Yun yung nipple niya.”

Why do people say “I saw it with my own eyes”?
Do they sometimes used other peoples eyes?

Cellphone, nag i-emote…
“Kahit anong gawin mo, manatili ako rito.”Templates
“Sige, txt lang. Magre-reply ako agad.” Balance Inquiry
“Dati sa akin ka lang nakatingin, pero noong nasanay ka na, bakit sa kanya na?”Keypad, nagseselos sa screen
“Ganyan ka naman eh! Nilalapitan mo lang ako kapag hindi mo na kaya.”Charger
“Bakit ganun? Ako na lang ba lagi ang magbibigay? Eh kahit kailan hindi pa ako nakakatanggap!” Sent items
“Lagi na lang ba akong kailangang hingiin at pagpasa-pasahan?” Quotes

** All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“Kung hindi ka kayang ipaglaban ng taong mahal mo, huwag ka na rin lumaban. Mapapagod ka lang.”

 

 

 

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