Thursday Humor 03.06.14

kaldero
ANAK: ‘Tay, damot ng klasmeyt ko.”
TATAY: “Oh bakit naman anak?”
ANAK: “Di kasi ako ininvite sa burol ng tatay niya, di tuloy ako nakakain ng biskwit. Langya siya, di ko rin siya invite sa burol mo ‘tay. Sana malapit na para makaganti din ako.”
TATAY: “Animal ka! Umalis ka sa harapan ko kung ayaw mong ikaw ang paglamayan!”

Best Relationship Status:
I am Single…
I am on Money Saving Mode.

LALAKE: “May itatanong ako.”
BABAE: “Ano yun?”
LALAKE: “Hmmm, wag na lang, baka ma-offend ka, baka hindi mo kayanin, magalit ka pa.
BABAE: “Ano ba yun? ok lang, tanong mo na.”
LALAKE: “Virgin ka pa ba?”

WOMAN: You do realize I’m still not ready to sleep with you, yes?”
GUY: “Oh, I’m not trying to have sex with you.”
WOMAN: “Why not? What’s wrong with me?”

Ang UTOT ay parang FROZEN.
Pag nasa School,
“Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know”
Pag nasa Bahay,
“Let it go, Let it go, Cant hold it back.”

NOON: “Wag ka nang umiyak, nandito lang ako.”
NGAYON: “Wag ka nang umiyak, makakalimutan mo din ako.”

Embroidered on a panty:
KEEP RUBBING and you just might get your wish.

Yung babaeng pinipilahan . . . kahit hndi naman kagandahan. . .
. . . CASHIER ang tawag dun!

Dalawang bata naglalaro.
GIRL: “Uy! Taguan tayo!”
BOY: “Sige ba! Ano premyo ko pagnahanap kita?”
GIRL: “Kiss.”
BOY: “Wow! Eh paano pag hindi kita nakita?”
GIRL: “Eh… kainis toh! Basta! Andun lang ako sa likod ng drum!”

3 WORST WORDS IN MATH:
“Show your solution.”

The bishop astonished his guests when he said that many of his priests have HIV.
“Oh,” he laughed, “HIV means Hair Is Vanishing!”

The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so doctors can look at the inside of their patient’s bodies. So there, yes, Selfies can get worse! 😀

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“Huwag kang matakot magmahal ulit, hindi naman lahat ng tao katulad niya.”

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