Friday Humor 09.05.14

stallone

GIRL: “Joke ka naman.”
BOY: “Ok. Anong hayop ang pinagnanasaan ko?”
GIRL: “Ano?”
BOY: “COW” siyempre.”

GF: “Hihiwalayan na kita! Hindi na talaga kita maintindihan!”
BF: “M4h4L kh03! W4g m03 gh4w!n sXh4kh3n +0!”

SENYORA: “Bakit tuwing darating ako ng bahay, inaabutan kitang nanonood ng TV?”
INDAY: “Mam, ayaw ko po kasing abutan nyo ako na walang ginagawa!”

  •  

MONEY isn’t everything. It causes pain and suffering. I’m telling you this because I’m your friend and I want to take your pain and suffering. So send me your money and I will suffer for you.

MANAGER : “Miss, anong masarap na almusal dito?”
MISS : “Tapsilog, sir.”
MANAGER: “Wala na ba iba? Nakakasawa na eh. Yung medyo light lang.”
MISS: “Meron Puke, try mo, sir.”
MANAGER: “Pilya ka pala ha. May opis pa ako. Balikan kita mamayang gabi.”
MISS: “Si sir naman, PUto  na may KEso yon!”

OBAMA CARE: If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport – you’ll get a free x-ray and a breast exam, and if you mention Al Qaeda, you’ll get a free colonoscopy!

A THOUGHTFUL HUSBAND is one who holds the door open for his wife to carry in the groceries from the car.

TEACHER: “Simon, can you say your name backwards?”
SIMON: “No Mis.”

Pari nakarinig ng sigaw sa palengke na, “Alleluyah Alleluyah!”
PARI: “Bakit ka sumisigaw ng Alleluyah, eh wala ka naman sa simbahan?”   
MARKET VENDOR: “Syempre nag titinda ako ng luya, kaya sigaw ko “Ale Luya, Ale Luya,” ale bili na kayo ng luya!”

According to the Tax Management Association of the Philippines, Filipinos pay the highest taxes in Southeast Asia. The same study revealed the Filipino politicians were in the happiest in the region.

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

 

oOo

“Not all goodbyes are sad. Example: “Goodbye, class”