Thursday Humor 04.30.15

clemency

The inventor of the urinal deodorizer block passed away. Long may he rest in PISS.

An emergency room resident began his examination of an elderly man by asking, “What brought you to the hospital?” The old man replied, “An ambulance.”

In 2012, former U. S. first lady and Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton said she wouldn’t run for president again. On Monday, she declared her bid for the presidency. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is suing her for copyright infringement.

Reports say P-Noy has advised Sec. Mar Roxas to do something to improve his ratings in the presidential surveys. So, Mar petitioned a court to allow him to use the surname “Binay!”

“How many cups of coffee will this hold?” a man asked as he placed a large thermos on a coffee shop counter. “Six cups,” advised a crew member. “Fine,” replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream!”

Breaking News: Bading, biglang nangisay at nanigas nang makatikim ng tea tea.

Ang bagong alternatibo sa mga dating mahilig sa Milk Tea… Ang “BAT TEA.”

Hindi kami naniniwala sa teleserye na “Bridges of love.” Dahil ang true love nasa HAGDAN hindi sa TULAY!

Standing in front of the mirror the wife said, “I am not fat, you wouldn’t call me fat, would you?” Her husband replied, “Of course not darling. Delusional, but never fat.”

WIFE: “Truth or dare?”
HUSBAND: “Truth.”
WIFE: “So tell me, do I look fat in this dress?”
HUSBAND: “Woah, woah, woah! This is not fair.. I said truth not dare!’

Sabi ng wife sa husband, “Babe, nag-ahit ako, alam mo ba ibig sabihin nun?” at kumindat pa siya. Tangina, sagot ng husband sa wife, “Hah? Barado na naman ang banyo?”

Thank you Mike for the above jokes.

 

oOo

“Cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend is acceptable IF AND ONLY IF… you have a worthy face.”

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