Juan Ponce Enrile spent the last 50 years of his life in politics. ..
If there is justice in the world, he will spend the rest of his life in prison.
Martin Andanar, the incoming Presidential Communications Operations Office chief, says the Du30 administration may publish it’s own tabloid. They haven’t decided yet what to call the tabloid but Du30 is keen on calling it, “Balitang Ina Mo.”
A giant alligator was caught on tape taking a leisurely stroll on a golf course in Florida, U. S. A. Reptiles on golf courses are unusual for som. In the Pinas, it’s called “Congress in recess.”
Mayor Duterte promises a “metamorphosis” once he is sworn as President. Change will come he said… He’ll lessen his ‘putang inas’ to 10 per week from the usual 50.
Pres. Rodrigo Duterte appoints Mar Roxas road czar 2 build tuwid na mga daan, Jejomar Binay baker czar 2 make cakes, Grace Poe director of heart center & Antonio Trillanes host 2 a talk show 24/7 para daldal ng daldal ng lumawit ang dila. Let us welcome d new cabinet members!
President-elect Rody should force Congress to go on minimum wage..
That way, Pinoys can feel comfortable calling them public servants.
People says President-elect Rody uses ‘cuss words.’ Rody vehemently disagreed and allegedly said, “They are sentence enhancers.”
Judging by the way some women wear make-up, it’s rather obvious that they did not excel at coloring when they were children.
I don’t think it’s cute when I see names carved into trees…
I think it strange how many people take knives on dates.
Perks of being 60 years and above…
Kidnappers aren’t interested in you.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
No one expects you to run – anywhere.
People call at 8pm and ask, “Did I wake you up?”
BOSS: “If you can’t show up here sober then don’t bother coming to work tomorrow!”
EMPLOYEE: “Wow! Three day weekend!”
POLICEMAN: “Do you speak English?”
POLICEMAN: “Where are you from?”
DOCTOR: “Your liver is the only organ that regenerates itself…”
ERAP: “I believe that calls for a drink… Cheers!”
Little Boy1: “Are you related to anyone famous?”
Little Boy2: “I don’t want to brag, but I heard Dad calling God his father.”
HUSBAND: “Call an ambulance fast! I am having heart attack…”
WIFE: (took his mobile) “Quick! Give me the password!”
HUSBAND: “It’s okay! I’m feeling better now!”
“Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, yep, yep, uh huh, uh huh, ok, you too, bye.” A man’s side at every phone conversation with his wife.
**All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE.
“Remove toxic people from your life. Free yourself.”