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New year na, wak suot POLKA DOTS symbol yan barya, coins lang yun. Suot kaw rectangle, sign yun TSEKE, pero wak tatalon pala hini BOUNCING CHECK. Happy New Year! 
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My New Year’s Wish List for you.
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall. May your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your LDL, your white blood cells, not rise. May you wake up on January 1, finding the world has not come to an end, the light works, the water faucet flows, and the sky has not fallen! HAPPY NEW YEAR! 
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Sabi Fengshui expert:
To have a Plospelous New Year, buy ikaw..
12 apples,
12 olanges,
12 flied chicken&
12 siomai,
put in a box, lap it nicely & send it to ME! Luck will shoely come to you!
Paki dak-dak 1 oldel pancit pala mas waswerti!!!
O misua canton na may quail egg pala lalo swelti!
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Napasilip si Totoy sa kwarto ng kanyang Dad at Mom. Na shock siya sa kanyang nakita. Sinigawan ni Totoy ang kanyang Mom: “Mommy, pinagagalitan mo ko pagsinusopsop ko ang hinlalaki ko! Pero ikaw?!”
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What is a KISS in…
GEOMETRY: it is the shortest distance between two lips.
ECONOMICS: it is that thing for which demand always exceeds supply.
PHYSICS: it is the process of charging a human body.
IT: it’s like a LAN in which two bodies are connected without any data cable.
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A teenager asked his Dad if he can use the car..
DAD: No, not until you cut your hair!
TEENAGER: But, Dad, Jesus had a long hair!
DAD: Yup, but Jesus walked everywhere! 
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You’d think that since men have two heads, they,d be smarter than women! Not true since they do most of their thinking with the smaller one.:-P
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A wife said to her husband when he came home, “Honey, got get a dozen condoms quickly. I’m horny.”
The husband said, “Great, darling, don’t cool down. I’ll be right back.”
When he returns with the condoms, wife snatches the packets and said, “Thanks” and walked out of the door.