Sa isang pagpupulong nagkita si Mike Enriquez at Julius Babao..
JULIUS: “Naimbitahan ka din sa Condo?”
MIKE: “Aba'y hindi… ganito talaga ang mukha ko!”
Hey Baby, what's your sign?
Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves Ahead, Yield?
ANGEL: “Mars patayin natin si Deniece!”
MAJA: “Sige patayin natin! Tutusukin ko siya ng buto ni Kim Chiu!”
An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, “How do you feel?”
“How would you feel,” the astronaut replied, “if you're struck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?”
TEACHER: “What makes you see?”
STUDENT: “My eyes, my nose and my ears.”
TEACHER: “True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?”
STUDENT: “They hold my glasses!”
Dahil hindi tumutugma ang statement nila sa mga cctv video na nakuha sa condo, may naganap na insidente kahapon sa condo..
CEDRIC: “Magpapakamatay na ako..”
(Tumakbo si Deniece sa admin office ng condo..)
DENIECE: “Kuya admin, tuwawag kayo ng maintenance now na..” magpapakamatay si cedric! tatalon sa bintana!”
ADMIN: “Ma'am, bakit maintenance ang tatawagin namin?”
DENIECE: “Eh hindi niya mabuksan ang bintana!”
A child attended her first Sunday School class. Her teacher asked, “Do you know where God is?”
“Yes,” she said, “He's in our bathroom. Every morning my Dad shouts at the bathroom door, 'My God, are you still there?'”
TEACHER: “If you spend all your time sitting playing games on the Internet, you'll be fat and useless when you grow up.”
PUPIL: “Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!”
A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. “There's no more room,” they said. “It's already full!”
“But you must let me on!” shouted the man.
“Why? What's so special about you?” they asked.
“I'm the bus driver,” the man replied.
DENIECE CORNEJO: “Gusto mo sa condo tayo?”
MANNY PACQUIAO: “Ayuko, de masarap pag may cundom.”
Wife, opening mail, to spouse, “The bank says that this our last notice? Isn't it wonderful that they're not going to bother us anymore?”
One day a wife complained, “The wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.”
The husband grunted and replied, “The darn clock always was slow.”
HONESTO: “Ang mga sinugaling lumalaki ang ilong..”
VHONG NAVARRO: “Oy hindi ako ang sinugaling ha…”
MIKE ENRIQUEZ: “Aba'y mali yan…paano na ko?”
Don't worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex's name tattooed on their body.
**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.
“Ang mga tunay na babae masarap kasama at masarap sa kama.”