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Andami-dami kong peborit na music vids.

Pero eto ang leytest.

Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud.

When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks

And darling I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way, mm
I know you will still love me the same

‘Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen
Baby your smile’s forever in my mind and memory

I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand

But baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

(Ah la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la)

So baby now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

Oh maybe we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are.

Ang lakas din mang-inggit ng da moves ng girl para sa isang katulad kong hindi marunong sumayaw. 🙁

oOo

“I’m a dreamer.”

Thursday Humor 01.08.15

lol

A guy told a psychiatrist, “I’m not sure if I’m a man or woman.”
The doctor replied, “Right. Just pull your pants down for me.”
The guy said no, so the shrink said, “You’re a woman!”

BOY: “May kanta ako para sa inyo ng bagong BF mo!”
GIRL: “Wow! Ang sweet mo bestpren… Anong title?”
BOY:  “Ang title ay… “Mabuntis ka sana at masira buhay niyo pareho.””

  •  

MAN1: “My father always told me that it is better to give than to receive.”
MAN2: “Was he a philanthropist?”
MAN1: “No… he was a BOXER.”

SON:  “Daddy, what happens if a condom breaks?”
FATHER: “Look at yourself.”

  •  

Paalala sa Kababaihan:
Huwag niyong pakitaan ng motibo ang mga lalake kung ayaw niyong makatikim ng embutido. :p

You know when people always say, “He escaped alive?”
How can you escape when you’re dead?

Mag-shota nakahiga sa damuhan..
GIRL: “Ang Romantic kahit ang kati ng damo.”
BOY: “Pero…”
GIRL: “Pero ano?”
BOY: “… Mas makati ka pa sa damo.”

In a drug store, a pharmacist told a customer, “Sorry, ma’am, that is impossible. We sell potassium cyanide only with prescription. Just a photo of your husband is not enough!”

QUESTION: What’s the basic difference between the case of VP Binay & that of CPNP Purisima?
ANSWER: The former involves overpricing; the latter underpricing!

LOLA: “Apo, pwede bang makahingi ng pera? Naiinip na kasi ako dito sa bahay eh.”
APO: “Lola naman, pwede ba tigilan niyo na pag ma-mahjong niyo?”
LOLA: “Hindi naman ako magma-mahjong eh, bibili lang ako ng manok.”
APO: “Ano naman ang gagawin niyo sa manok?”
LOLA:” Maglakaro kami ni Lola Petra mo ng sabong, natalo kasi ako kahapon eh.”

  •  

A wife tells her husband while watching a teleserye, “Look how much he loves her…”
He replied, “Yes, but do you know how much he’s being paid for that?”

A lady calls a drug store, “Excuse me, do you have pregnancy tests?”
    “Yes, we do,” the owner replied.
    “Are the test questions difficult?”

A girl tells her boyfriend, “After our marriage, I will let you kiss me where nobody else has kissed me.”
    “Where is that?” her man asks.
   “In Hawaii.”

At an emergency room…
DOCTOR: “There is no doubt that you have been poisoned!”
PATIENT: “For goodness’ sake, with what, Doc?”
DOCTOR: “Don’t worry, we’ll find that out during the autopsy…”

**All of the above SMS jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

 

oOo

“Pag singkit na maputi, CHINITO. Pag singkit na maitim, PRINITO.”

Mangosteen Preserve

Two months ago, my brother gave me this as pasalubong from Davao.

Mangosteen Preserve

Pers taym ko lang napag alaman na may Mangosteen Preserve pala. Tsk! Hindi man lang ako na-inform. Lol!

Kanina ko lang binuksan nang mag almusal akey with coffee and toast.

Imperness, masarap siya. Parang ako? Hihihi!

Bihira ako magkagusto ng mga preserve-preserve na palaman. Pero eto…type ko sha. Mas type ko kasi ang mga fruit JAM. Teka, ano nga ba ang pinagkaiba ng fruit preserve vs jam? Aaaaaaaaah! Kever! Erase, erase nyo na ang tanong ko.

At ang lasa ng Mangosteen preserve na itey? Hmmmnnn…

Siempre lasang Mangosteen sha! Anofengaveh!

Baka naman tumambling kayo pag sinabi kong lasang Durian sha. 😀

 

 

oOo

“I enjoy being alone. Lalo na pag may pagkain.”

Wednesday Humor 01.07.15

B0jv9oVIEAAPTxM

Filipino Dictionary
NEVERMIND: Ang slow mo.
BASTA: Tinatamad akong magexplain.
PAPUNTA NA KO: Kakagising ko lang.
ANG LAMIG: Payakap naman.
KAMUSTA?: Miss na kita.
JOKE LANG: Pero totoo talaga yun.
OKAY LANG AKO: Hindi ako okay. Lambingin mo ko.
NASAAN KA: Nasa labas na ko ng bahay nyo!
AH OKAY: Boring mo kausap.
OH TALAGA?: Hindi ako interesado sa kwento mo.
SIGE LANG: Napipilitan lang naman ako, may choice ba ko?
BAGAY KAYO: Mas bagay tayo.
OKAY NA KAYO?: Sana kasi tayo na lang.
SUNOD NA LANG AKO: Manigas ka jan.
TRY KO: ASA KA!

At the funeral of a lawyer’s wife, people were appalled to read the tombstone: “Here lies, Katrina, wife of Atty. Juan dela Cruz, Specializes in Divorce and Malpractice suits.” After her burial, the lawyer cried. His brother said, “You should cry, pulling a cheap publicity stunt like this!” The lawyer replied, “You don’t understand, I’m crying because they forgot to include my phone number!”

According to the latest Pulse Asia survey, 6 in 10 Pinoys don’t want a second term for P-Noy.

The six were identified as Jojo, Junjun, Nancy, Abby, Anne and Elenita, all surnamed Binay.

A girl posted her status on Facebook, “OMG! Can’t help it! I’m obsess with Big Macs.”
A netizen remarked, “You made a spelling mistake.”
She replied, “Hahaha… It’s obsessed, right?”
The netizen replied anew, “No, it’s obese!”

The symptom of Ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhea and stomach pains.
Kind of like when you see your wife going through your phone.

Napansin niyo ba?
Ang pagbabayad ng buwis sa pamahalaang ito ay parang pagbabayad ng pamasahe sa MRT na walang kasiguraduhang kung makakarating ka sa pupuntahan mo.

At a bar..
MAN: “Hi! I am 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest.”
WOMAN: “Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.”

Canta para sa panget:
“If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can’t I paint you…?”

 

TANONG: Ano ginagawa ni Michael Jackson sa ukay ukay?
SAGOT: Eh di bili jeans.

Married life is boring.
    The first year of marriage, the husband does the talking and the wife listens.
    The second year, the wife talks and the husband listens.
    And finally, starting the third year, they both talk and the neighbor do the listening.

A man is at a road side eating grass. A motorist pulls up in and says, “Hey! Don’t eat that. Come home with me and I’ll feed you.”
    The man replies, “I have a wife and twelve kids, can they come too?”
    The motorist said, “I’ve only a small lawn!”

Three guys were debating on what is the fasting thing on our planet.
    An Englishman says, “For me, it is our thoughts because they are immediate.”
    A French says, “It is light because it travels at the absolute speed.”
    A Pinoy says, “It’s diarrhea. Before you can think or switch the light on, you have already got your pants full.”

**All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike.

 

 

oOo

“Walang magpapaputok pag may DALAW! Advance Happy Chinese New Year!”

Tuloy Ang Buhay

Tapos na ang Pasko at may bagong Taon na ulit.

Umalis at balik-trabaho na ulit ang unico hijo ko sa Manila at balik-eskwela naman si Doter ko kanina.

Haw abawt si Mamaru?

Eto…balik din sa dating gawi. Hehe.

Balik ulit sa normal everyday na gawain at iba’t-ibang kashitan sa buhay. Wala akong reso-resolution kiyeme ngayong taon. Basta para sa akin….tuloy-tuloy lang ang buhay.

Heniwey, nagbaklas at nagligpit na ako ng mga Xmas abubots ko.

MaruXmasDIY-001

Eto ang ilan sa mga Xmas abubot ko na puro D.I.Y. karamihan.

MaruXmasDIY

Puro mga sariling gawa ko lang ang mga dekorasyones ko dito sa mansiones ko dahil…siempre,  wala akong panggastos eh iba na ang matipid sa gastos, di ba? Sus, ako feh! Ganyan naman talaga kaming mayayaman, kaming mga nasa alta sosyedadAu naturel na sa amin ang pagiging matipid. Chos!

MaruXmasDIY-002

Kahit nga yung mga pambalot ko ng mga gips noong Pasko…mga recycled ribbons lang ang ginamit ko. Again, nagtitipid eh.

Kaya mga ineng, wag nyo itatapon yung mga ribbon na ipinangtatali sa box tuwing bibili kayo ng cake gaya nang sa Red Ribbon. 😀 Dahil sa panahon ng kapaskuhan…may paggagamitan kayo ulit ng mga yun.

MaruXmasDIYwrap

Pattern paper lang din ang ginamit ko as gift wrapper last Xmas kasi sa halagang P1.50 lang ang isa, eh madami na ang nababalot. Sticker paper naman ang ginamit ko as gift tag. More or less mga P70.00 lang lahat-lahat ang nagastos ko sa gift wrapping tralala ko. Sabi nga nung pauso na kasabihan, diska-diskarte din pag may time.

Again, it’s a brand new year! So. . .

today

Ewan ko sa inyo kung ano mga plano nyo sa buhay nyo. ‘La ako paki! (Joke!)

Basta ako. . .simple lang ang plano ko. Gusto ko lang mabuhay. Hahaha! Meynteyn!

Happy New Year, bitches en sonabagans!

 

 

oOo

“Matuto sa nakaraan, maghanda para sa kinabukasan, mabuhay sa kasalukuyan.”

Monday Humor 01.05.15

missing poster

PATIENT: “Doctor, Doctor! My family thinks I’m mad!”
DOCTOR: “Why is that?”
PATIENT: “I like sausages.”
DOCTOR: “There’s nothing strange about that. I like sausages myself.”
PATIENT: “Really? You must come and see my collection — I’ve got thousands!”

At the grocery’s checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price of cucumber.
“Maybe the list is alphabetical,” the customer offered.
So the cashier started searching from the bottom of the list: “Q… Q… Q…”

Define MASAKIT during Sex:
   Wrong Hole, Wrong Hole! 😛

PAALALA SA MGA BABAE:
Kung talagang mahal ka niya, hindi dapat siya mapagod na mahalin ka…
Kahit IHI lang ang pahinga niya.

At a restaurant, a sign read, “Karaoke Tonight!” An old lady studied it before asking, “What kind of fish is that?”

SEN. MIRIAM’S  THESAURUS : 
    1) Bigamous:Man with 2 wives-RAMOS
    2) Polygamous:Man with many wives- ERAP
    3) Monotonous:Man with 1 wife-Villar
    4) Autonomous:Man with  No wife at all , a self-service man -NOYNOY!

BANAT:
Para kang asin.
Bagay na bagay sa itlog ko. <3

At a grade school class…
TEACHER: “What’s the outside layer of a tree called, class?
CLASS: “We don’t know.
TEACHER: “BARK, class!”
CLASS: “WOOF, WOOF, WOOF!”

The China National Tourism office gave tips for its citizens going abroad:
    1. Don’t steal life vests from airplanes to give as gifts.
    2. Don’t leave footprints on the toilet.
    3. Don’t dry your underwear on lampshade.

Sabi nila ang side effect daw ng pagkain ng mani eh magkaka-tigyawat.
Hindi totoo yon. Naglasang pH Care lang iyong panlasa mo.

Ang alam mo ba iyung tuwing tumutugtog ang kanta ng pag-iibigan niyo…
Feel na feel mo ang paghawak niya ng Microphone mo!

A woman texted her husband who was out shopping, “Pick something up for the little ones while you’re shopping.”
So he brought her a bra.

PATIENT: “Doctor, I think I swallowed a SPOON!”
DOCTOR: “Just sit patiently and try not to STIR!”

** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

 

oOo

“Sabi nila, hindi daw sapat ang pagsasabi lang ng MAHAL KITA. Kailangan may kasamang EFFORT. Kaya “Mahal kita Effort.””

My Kind Of Man

1

“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, and she stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute i could. I gave her a lot of gifts and i lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she could love that much. And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.” ~ Brad Pitt about Angelina Jolie. 🙂

 

Source: Tumblr

 

oOo

“We all need someone who understands.”

Different types of MALALANDI

malandi

  1. Pasimpleng Malandi:Balita ko break na kayo ah?”
  2. Bulgarang Malandi:Break na kayo, so tayo naman!” 😀
  3. Pakipot na Malandi:Eeeehh Kaka-break niyo lang eh.”
  4. Matulunging Malandi:Break na kayo di ba? Tulungan kitang kalimutan siya.”
  5. Curious na Malandi:Hala, bakit kayo nagbreak? I’m here lang for you.”
  6. Concerned na Malandi:Break na pala kayo? Kamusta ka na? Kailangan mo ng makakausap?”
  7. Mapagparinig na Malandi:Oh break na kayo? Hayaan mo na, marami pang iba diyan.”

 

 

oOo

“Puro ka kalandian diyan. Sarili mong panty di mo malabhan.”