Erap, gustong kumain ng manok sa resto sa US. But due to senior lapses o memory gap, nakalimutan nya ang English ng manok.
WAITRESS: “What’s ur order, sir?”
ERAP: (itinuro ang mga itlog sa tray) “I want to eat their mother!”
Define MASAKIT during Sex:
Wrong Hole, Wrong Hole!
The teacher asks, “Now, Maria, how many fingers have?” Maria replies, “10.”
Teacher asks again, “OK. Now if you lost 4 of them, what would you have?”
Maria said, “No more piano lessons!”
DAD: “What happened to your eye?”
SON: “I was staring at a ball from afar, and I was wondering why it was getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit me.”
A man posted in his Facebook account:
“I am the boss of the house…
I have my wife’s permission to say so!”
Para kang asin.
Bagay na bagay sa itlog ko.
While having sex with one of his clients, a doctor is debating ethics. On one hand, I’m young, single and want to please, but on the other hand, I’m a VET!
Ang mga babae gustong makahanap ng lalakeng alam kung ano ang nasa isip nila kahit di pa nila sinasabi.
Kaya tayong mga walang lahing manghuhula, gudlak!
PATIENT: “Doctor, Doctor! My family thinks I’m mad!”
DOCTOR: “Why is that?”
PATIENT: “I like sausages.”
DOCTOR: “There’s nothing strange about that. I like sausages myself.”
PATIENT: “Really? You must come and see my collection — I’ve got thousands!”
On Halloween, I shouted to the wife, “Honey, there’s a witch at the door. What shall I do?”
She replied, “Just give her some sweets and tell her to leave.”
My mother-in-law hasn’t spoken to me since.
BOY: “May kanta ako para sa inyo ng bagong BF mo!”
GIRL: “Wow! Ang sweet mo bestpren… Anong title?”
BOY: “Ang title ay… “Mabuntis ka sana at masira buhay niyo pareho.””
**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.
“Minsan, mas espesyal ang LAWAY kaysa NGITI..Kasi, kahit sino, pwede mong ngitian. Pero ang laway, tutulo lang sa taong gusto mong tikman!”