Tips on Welcoming a New Dog Into the Family

dogThey’re sweet, loving, and absolutely irresistible. Whether you’re meeting dogs at your local animal shelter or through a reputable breeder, it’s hard not to fall in love with more than one puppy or dog. Sometimes a dog may even find you: Animal lover Michael J. Knapp, for example, says a stray dog worked her way into his family home and heart.

Bringing home a new furry family member is a sweet and joyful experience. However, that experience can quickly turn a little sour if the dog chews up your things, messes up your carpet, keeps you up all night or just flat-out refuses to obey you. Even the most kind-hearted and loving of pet owners may wonder if they’ve made a serious mistake.

If welcoming a new dog into your family isn’t going the way you expected, don’t despair. In most cases, these problems can be solved. Here are some dog facts in mind:

Dogs often seem to pull bait-and-switches: She was so shy in the crate, and so sweet on the first day. Then on the second day, she starts getting into everything and tearing up the house. What happened? It’s pretty simple, really: Your dog’s sudden “personality change” means she’s become comfortable with you, and sees your home as a safe and welcoming place where she’s free to be herself. Just like people, dogs have complex personalities and their fair share of quirks. She’s still a sweet puppy; she’s just showing you more of her spunky side.

Puppies are very much like toddlers: If you’ve adopted a http://www.brunomars.com/moonshinejungletour, you’ve likely discovered that they are curious, sassy, mischievous and determined to have things their way. They teethe, test their limits and have trouble with toilet training. Dealing with a puppy is very much like dealing with a very young human. Dogs, too, will grow out of this stage so long as you provide proper puppy training.

Dogs need care and companionship:

Dogs require a lot of care, attention and guidance. You need to spend a lot of time teaching your pooch where to potty, what to chew on, how to play nice and how to have good puppy manners. Even the sweetest, most naturally well behaved of dogs will need some guidance.

The better trained your dog, the less frustration he will give you, the more well liked he will be and the more you will enjoy his company. But even the most well-trained dogs still have some personality. There are no promises that you won’t catch them napping luxuriously in your off-limits bed when you come home early. But that’s part of their charm.

Dogs are loyal: You would be hard pressed to find a more loyal, grateful or loving pet than a dog. Give them the training and help they need when they’re young, and you’ll earn yourself a wonderful companion. Michael J. Knapp knows this well: The stray dog who wandered into the family yard one day is now a cherished family member and a wonderful pet.

Friday Humor 03.07.14

funny shirt

Lolo at Lola sa kuwarto nila.
LOLO: “Naalala ko, nuong kakapangasawa natin, makatira tayo sa apartment, may Volks tayong luma, anliit na black & white TV. Pero ok lang yun, atlis katabi ko nun sa kama ay napakaseksing at makinis na babae. Ngayon 70 years old na tayo, may mansion na, may BMW, Daimler tayo, maraming pera at may malaking HDTV.”
LOLA: “O tapos?”
LOLO: “Pero ang katabi ko naman eh kulubot na at matandang babae.”
LOLA: “Nang iinsulto ka? E di maghanap ka ng seksi at makinis na tatabihan mo sa gabi at sinisiguro kong papalayasin kita at maninirahan ka ulit sa maliit na apartment, walang sasakyan, walang pera at sira ang TV!”

INAY: “Anak, halika na, kakain na tayo.”
ANAK: “Nay, nanaginip ako kagabi, may trabaho na daw ako.”
INAY: “Siya, sige, anak, matulog ka na ulit baka sasahod ka na!”

Morning Breath
is the Reason
Why the Doggy Style was invented.

Isang magsasaka dinala sa veterenarian ang isang alaga niyang baka na duling. Pagtingin ng vet, kumuha ito ng malaking straw, tinusok ang puwet ng baka at hinipan ito hanggang nagpantay ang mga mata ng baka. Binayaran ng magsasaka ang fee ng vet na P2000.
Pagkalipas ng 3 araw, nakita ulit ng magsasaka ang isa pang baka na duling din. Dahil mahal ang fee ng vet, ginaya niya ang ginawa nito.
Tinawag niya ang katulong niya at pinakuha ng malaking straw, at nang binigay sa kanya, itinusok niya sa puwet ng baka at hinipan pero walang nangyari. Pinasubukan niya sa katulong. Kinuha ng katulong ang straw, binaligtad at itinusok sa puwet ng baka. Nagtaka ang magsasaka.
MAGSASAKA: “Bakit mo binaglad ang straw?”
KATULONG: “Eh boss, isinubo niyo po yung kabilang dulo di ba? Kadiri kaya!”

WIFE: “Darling, shall we have a roasted turkey to celebrate our wedding anniversary?”
HUSBAND: “Why punish the poor turkey for my mistake?”

Every woman thinks her husband is a moron..
And they’re absolutely right because smart men don’t get married.

Comfort Room Etiquette
1. Maglock ng pinto bago ilabas si junjun at jenjen. Baka may pumasok at makita. Awkward yun at may posibilidad na magkaroon ng pagnanasa sayo ang taong yun.
2. Wag magiiwan ng bulbol na nalagas sa gilid ng inidoro. Dumidikit yun at mahirap tanggalin.
3. Wag masyadong matagal sa loob ng cr. Baka mapagkamalan kang nagjajakol.

On an airplane’s PA system was an announcement:
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out on the right side of our plane, you will see flight 200 challenging us to a race. I’ve turned on the ‘fasten seatbelt sign because this shit is about to get real.”

A woman comes home smelling of booze. She tells her husband she was out with friends. Husband calls 10 of her friend to confirm. None of them remember seeing her in a week.
A man goes home late reeking of booze. He tells his wife he was out with friends. Wife calls 10 of his friends to confirm. 6 totally remember seeing him there and 4 swear he’s still there.

**All of the above jokes courtesy of Mike

 

oOo

“Sa panahon ngayon mas madali ng paniwalaan ang “Libre kita” kesa sa “Mahal kita”.”

Puro D.I.Y.

Dalawang tulog na lang at partee-partee na ng apo ko sa pamangkin na soon to be terrible 2 na.

lorkhan(DIY Birthday Artwork courtesy of Keziah)

Da more na nagiging aligaga si Tita Lola (ako yun!) sa paggawa ng mga nakatoka sa kanya gaya ng mga cupcake toppers, buntings at stickers para sa. . .

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DIY superman capes ng mga bagets na imbitado…

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DIY Superhero Masks. . .

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DIY cityscape backdrop para sa DIY photo booth namin…

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DIY photo booth props…

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DIY party favors…

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Some superhero themed goodies like cookies and cream polvorons…

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Red, yellow and blue ribboned cake pops na ginawa ko kanina…

Camera Uploads

More sweets para sa DIY candy station….

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 Jelly candies…at iba pang goodies na gagawin ko bukas.

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Nakakapagod ang gawin ang mga detalye ng isang kiddie party pero nai-excite ako at nag i-enjoy sa totoo lang. :D

Puro DIYs lang ang mga ginawa ko kasi mas malaki ang natitipid na datung sa ganitong paraan. Kung gustong maka-save talaga sa ibang gastusin sa partee-partee ng isang bagets, aba eh huwag maging tamad na maging creative.

oOo

“Don’t be afraid of losing someone who doesn’t feel blessed to have you.”

Thursday Humor 03.06.14

kaldero
ANAK: ‘Tay, damot ng klasmeyt ko.”
TATAY: “Oh bakit naman anak?”
ANAK: “Di kasi ako ininvite sa burol ng tatay niya, di tuloy ako nakakain ng biskwit. Langya siya, di ko rin siya invite sa burol mo ‘tay. Sana malapit na para makaganti din ako.”
TATAY: “Animal ka! Umalis ka sa harapan ko kung ayaw mong ikaw ang paglamayan!”

Best Relationship Status:
I am Single…
I am on Money Saving Mode.

LALAKE: “May itatanong ako.”
BABAE: “Ano yun?”
LALAKE: “Hmmm, wag na lang, baka ma-offend ka, baka hindi mo kayanin, magalit ka pa.
BABAE: “Ano ba yun? ok lang, tanong mo na.”
LALAKE: “Virgin ka pa ba?”

WOMAN: You do realize I’m still not ready to sleep with you, yes?”
GUY: “Oh, I’m not trying to have sex with you.”
WOMAN: “Why not? What’s wrong with me?”

Ang UTOT ay parang FROZEN.
Pag nasa School,
“Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know”
Pag nasa Bahay,
“Let it go, Let it go, Cant hold it back.”

NOON: “Wag ka nang umiyak, nandito lang ako.”
NGAYON: “Wag ka nang umiyak, makakalimutan mo din ako.”

Embroidered on a panty:
KEEP RUBBING and you just might get your wish.

Yung babaeng pinipilahan . . . kahit hndi naman kagandahan. . .
. . . CASHIER ang tawag dun!

Dalawang bata naglalaro.
GIRL: “Uy! Taguan tayo!”
BOY: “Sige ba! Ano premyo ko pagnahanap kita?”
GIRL: “Kiss.”
BOY: “Wow! Eh paano pag hindi kita nakita?”
GIRL: “Eh… kainis toh! Basta! Andun lang ako sa likod ng drum!”

3 WORST WORDS IN MATH:
“Show your solution.”

The bishop astonished his guests when he said that many of his priests have HIV.
“Oh,” he laughed, “HIV means Hair Is Vanishing!”

The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so doctors can look at the inside of their patient’s bodies. So there, yes, Selfies can get worse! :D

**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“Huwag kang matakot magmahal ulit, hindi naman lahat ng tao katulad niya.”

Wednesday Humor 03.05.14

kubetakaba

MRS: “O bakit ka gumagawa ng malaking KRUS?”
MISTER: “Magpepenitensya ako sa Mahal na Araw, makabawas man lang ng kasalanan.”
MRS: “E dapat kahoy; hindi STYROFOAM!”

“Kahit isang gabi lang, pahiram ng asawa mo.” ~ One More Try (2012)
“Walang sayo! Akin lang ang asawa ko!” ~ The Legal Wife (2014)

Kaya pala naging madamot si Angel.

MAJA: “Mahal ko si Adrian! Akin siya! Akin lang siya!”
ANGEL: “Walang sayo, Maja!”
MAJA: “Bakit yang damit mo?! Sayo ba yan?”
ANGEL: ???
MAJA: “Kay “Maria Mercedes” yang pulang dress na yan!!”

GIRL: “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”
GUY: “You’re cute too when I’m drunk.”

Ibigay sa TATAY!
1. Nancy Binay realigns 300 million peso “pork” to National Housing Authority. Her father is the housing czar.
2. Manila council backs Jinggoy’s 100 million peso pork for Erap’s city…

The abbot of the monastery called up an elderly monk and had a gentle talk with him.
“Brother, may I ask you to change your ritual in the chapel? I don’t mind hearing your snoring during my prayers, but I can’t stand your changing gears.”

Sign in a convenience store:
“Win a FREE Ride in a Police Car just by Shoplifting in this store.”

LALAKE: “Uy ang laki ng bubs nung dumadaan.”
BABAE: “Bakit kayong mga lalake ang hilig-hilig ninyong tumingin sa bubs?”
LALAKE: “Magandang tingnan eh, appreciative lang kami.”
BABAE: “Kahit habang nagpapasuso ng baby?”
LALAKE: “Hindi.”
BABAE: “Kita mo na, mga bastos kayo talaga! puro sex nasa isip niyo. dapat ma appreciate niyo ang bubs sa natural nitong gamit.”
LALAKE: “Ganito lang yan… mahilig din kami sa puwet ng babae pero ayaw naman namin pinapanood na may lumalabas na dumi duon di ba?”

WIFE: “Hi babe. Nakauwi ka na ba?”
HUSBAND: “Hindi pa. Nandito pa ako sa hospital.”
WIFE: “Hah? Bakit? Anong nangyari?” (umiyak)
HUSBAND: “Nurse ako di ba? Sabog ka ba?”

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asked him, “How long have you been wearing a bra?”
The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

Dalawang lalaki ang nagapply sa parehong trabaho at binigyan sila ng Manager nang written test. Kahit parehong score nila na 90% sa test, pinili ng Manager ang unang applicant. Dahil kinausap ng second applicant ang manager.
APPLICANT2: ” Bakit naman po ganoon? Pareho naman po kaming 90% ang score.”
MANAGER: “Yung kasama mo kasing applicant ang isinagot sa tanong number 8, “Hindi ko alam.” Ikaw ang sinagot mo naman, “Hindi ko rin alam.”

BF at GF nag-aaway.
GF: “Ano ba talaga siya sayo?”
BF: “Pwede ba wag mo na siyang pagselosan, bestfriend ko lang yun.”
GF: “Wag mo sakin idahilan yan! Dahil Bestfriend din kita nuon!”

I ran into the Apple store at SM and used their bathroom…
iPEED!

March na!
Congratulations sa mga dinatnan na magmula nuong February 14. :p

**All of the above jokes courtesy of Mike. 

 

oOo
“May mga babaeng maganda kapag malayo. Meron ding malayong maging maganda.”

Aligaga

Mag be-bertdey ang isang apo ko sa pamangkin sa darating na Sabado at nakatoka ako na mamahala para sa Superhero theme kiddie party niya. Kaya eto ang Mamaru, aligagang-aligaga at ilang gabi ng puyaters ang alindog sa paggawa ng mga anik-anik.

So far, nag i-enjoy naman ako sa ginagawa ko…sabihin na natin na nami-miss ko rin kasi ang mga araw na bulingit pa noon si bebeboy at bebegirl ko. Nami-miss ko ang mga araw na yun kung saan sobrang aligaga ako sa pagiging nanay tuwing bertdey nila.

2014-03-04 09.38.40

O sha, diyan muna kayo at dito ako. BRB muna. Hahaha!

oOo

“Isa sa masarap na pakiramdam ay yung alam mong may taong bumubuo agad ng araw mo.”

March Na!

It's March already! Ambilis ng panahon. Nyeta! Tiyak mapapabilis din matatapos ang buhay natin neto. Hahaha!

Uy, may tip ako sa inyo. Tip kung paano maging always feeling masaya para sulit ang buhay.

Paano?

Howel, simple lang. Siguraduhin ang sarili na palaging busog. Busog? Bakit dapat busog lagi? Eh kasi bihira akong makakita ng taong malungkot pag busog eh. :D Pansin nyo rin ba yun?

Hmmmn…may sense ba 'tong pinagsasabi ko?

Erase! Erase! Erase!

Aktwali gusto ko lang naman talaga bumati ng….

Maligayang Sabado to every Juan.

Smile!
Life is way better when you smile. :D

 

 

oOo

“TURN ON: Yung mga babaeng naka-braces pero walang ngipin.”

 

Mamaru Sans MakeUp

Uma-aura ang Mamaru today! Hihihi!

May pa sans-sans meyk ap pa. As if naman may nagbago sa fez ko. FYI, I don’t wear make up talaga. Lipstick lang po.

Alam nyo bang wish ko talaga makita ang fez ko na naka-heavy make up?  Yun bang tipong tina-transform. Yun bang meron BEFORE and AFTER achuchu. Yun bang pagkatapos ay may magtatanong ng, “Mamaru, statue?”  :D

Curious ako kung ano chura ko. Hays…siguro, ang ganda-ganda ko. Sureness yun! Yun lang naman kasi ang meron ako bilang imortal – ganda lang. Wahahaha! Syet! Napalakas yata ang singhot ko nung bagong brand ng katol lately! Lakas maka-feeler! Ramdam ko ang kafal ng fez ko.

Pero seryoso,  kababawan na maituturing siguro pero gusto ko talaga makita ang sarili kong inaayusan ako ng isang magaling, sushal at mahal ang bayad na make-up artist. Gusto ko yung inaayusan ako habang alayb pa ako ha – at hindi yung nakahiga ako at inaayusan ng isang mortician. Waaah!

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oOo

“Don’t judge me  if you don’t know me.”

Thursday Humor 02.27.14

dicky

Dalawang bata nagkukulitan sa simbahan habang nagmimisa…
BATA1: “Knock! Knock!”
BATA2: “Who’s There?”
BATA1: “Ben 10″
BATA2: “Ben 10 who?”
BATA1: (Sabay kanta) “Happy Ben 10 to you! Happy Ben 10 to you! Happy Ben 10 Happy Ben 10!”

FRIEND:  Sasamahan kang matulog.
BESTFRIEND:  Pipicture-an kang natutulog. Ita-timing pa nila kapag naka-nganga ka.

W0RDS 0F WISD0M:

  1. Ang buhay ay parang bato… Very hard.
  2. Behind the clouds are other clouds.
  3. Pag may usok…may nag-iihaw.
  4. Pag may isinuksok at walang madukot…may katabi kang mandurukot.
  5. Huli man at magaling, undertime pa rin.
  6. Pag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na.
  7. When it rains,  it floods.
  8. An apple a day is too expensive.
  9. Aanhin pa ang damo kung ang garden mo ay sementado!

The pastor announces…
“If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left.”
All the men in the church moved to the left except one.
The pastor was amused & asked,
“How come your wife can’t control you?”
The husband quietly said,
“Pastor,my wife told me not to move.”

Ilang salita ng ibang lalake at ang ibang kahulugan nito.
1. Ewan = di ako interesado.
2. Ang ganda mo = crush kita.
3. May mens ka pa? = kung may mens ka, next week na lang tayo magkita. kung wala, kita tayo mamaya.
4. Gano kayo katagal ng mga naging bf mo? = virgin ka pa?
5. Tara inom tayo. = gusto kita lasingin, dahil alam ko pag naka inom ka, madali kang malibugan at mahihirapan ka na pumalag pag titirahin na kita.
6. Ano number mo? = para makausap kita lagi at malandi kita.. baka sakaling maka-score.
7. Ang hot mo = nakaka libog ka :p

If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls to your cell phone, post their number on Sulit.Com with the ad, “iPhone 5S for one peso only.”

Kung asaran ng mga lalake, “Ahh.. Supot,” dapat meron din sa babae,
“Ah… Laspag.”

A boss texted an employee, “Send me one of your funny jokes.”
The employee replied, “I’m working at the moment, I will send you one later.”
The boss texted back, “That was fantastic, send me another one!”

Si BF at GF nasa mall nang may nakasulubong silang seksing chick na halos luwa ang boobs. Padating sa harapan nila, nalaglag ang cell phone nito. Yumuko ang chick para damputin at tinuloy ang paglakad.
GF: “Tiningnan mo siya ano nung yumuko?”
BF: “Hindi.”
GF: “Kunwari ka pa. Tiningnan mo siya eh.”
BF: “Hindi nga, ano ka ba?”
GF: “Sinungaling ka! Kayo talagang mga lalake!”
BF: ” Sinabi na ngang hindi eh.”
GF: “Talaga? Buti di mo nakita yung allergy niya.”
BF: ” Hindi allergy yun. Yun yung nipple niya.”

Why do people say “I saw it with my own eyes”?
Do they sometimes used other peoples eyes?

Cellphone, nag i-emote…
“Kahit anong gawin mo, manatili ako rito.”Templates
“Sige, txt lang. Magre-reply ako agad.” - Balance Inquiry
“Dati sa akin ka lang nakatingin, pero noong nasanay ka na, bakit sa kanya na?”Keypad, nagseselos sa screen
“Ganyan ka naman eh! Nilalapitan mo lang ako kapag hindi mo na kaya.”Charger
“Bakit ganun? Ako na lang ba lagi ang magbibigay? Eh kahit kailan hindi pa ako nakakatanggap!” - Sent items
“Lagi na lang ba akong kailangang hingiin at pagpasa-pasahan?” - Quotes

** All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.

 

oOo

“Kung hindi ka kayang ipaglaban ng taong mahal mo, huwag ka na rin lumaban. Mapapagod ka lang.”