As they approached their new house, the family dog began to whimper.
“What’s wrong with Toby, daddy?” the daughter asked.
“It’s an animal sixth sense,” the father explained. “They can detect the presence of evil.”
“Is the house haunted?” the daughter asked anew.
“No,” the father replied, before turning to his wife. “Love, I think your mother’s here already.”
Cardinal Chito Tagle of Manila called on Pinoys to stop corruption and cheating by wearing a shirt that says, “Huwag kang magnakaw!” To make the campaign successful, include the face of your congressman or mayor.
A new mother came around to a male neighbor to show her new baby son. “You’re not comfortable with babies, are you?” she said to her neighbor.
“What makes you say that?” the neighbor replied, after shaking the baby’s hand.
Sinabihan ng isang driver instructor ang kanyang tinuturuan, “Kapag Green ang kulay na traffic light, dumeretso ka, kapag Red, huminto ka, pero hinay-hinay ka lang kapag ako ay naMUMUTI na!”
Sa Quiapo, may isang street vendor na sumisigaw nang, “Bili na kayo ng relo! Gold watch ito. Pag namuti, white gold! Pag huminto, stopwatch ito!”
“Do you have to use a stylus pen?” a wife snapped.
“Well, it stops smudges and is more hygienic,” the husband retorted.
“You’re fingering me, Babe, you’re not on your dam iPhone now!”
Sen. Nancy Binay has filed a bill that seeks to give prisoners the option to be placed under house or hospital arrest. VP Jojo Binay praised nancy for her foresight, thoughtfulness and concern.
Life begins at 40…
So does, Arthritis, Baldness and repetition of jokes.
A man walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 256K, 512K and 1MB… He said, “That was a trip down MEMORY lane!”
Are you old enough to remember when a SELFIE was some Lotion and a Box of Kleenex? :p
**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.
“If all you do in your relationship is cry…ask yourself if you’re dating a human being or an onion.”