WARDEN: “Patay ka na bukas ng alas singko ng umaga.”
WARDEN: “Bakit tumatawa?”
KRIMINAL: “Alas otso ako nagigising!”
Sam got drunk at a party & started flirting with a woman.
WIFE:”Remind me to put ice on your black eye when we get home.”
SAM:”But, I don’t have a blackeye.”
WIFE: “You are not home yet.”
WOMAN: “I am sexually harassed in this building!”
WOMAN: “This man comes to me everyday and says, “Your hair smell nice!””
BOSS: “And you have a problem with that?”
WOMAN: “But, Boss, the man is a MIDGET!”
What if one day napadaan ka sa tambayan ng CRUSH mo..
Nginitian ka niya..
Nagtinginan lahat ng tropa niya dahil sumabay siya sayo..
“CUTE, MAY TAGOS KA…”
PETER: “Your secretary is very sexy!”
TONY: “Thanks! It’s a robot named “Maria.” If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation and if you squeeze the right, she types. I’ll lend it to you for a day so you can see her functions..”
Next day, Peter called Tony from the hospital and shouted, “You didn’t tell me the “HOLE” between Maria’s legs is a pencil sharpener!”
Sign at a Chinese Restaurant:
“All You Can Eat Buffet Not Mean All Day Buffet You No Come Stay 4 Hour You Eat – You Go Home”
Who said women don’t have “Balls”?
They just don’t hide it in their pants,
they display them proudly on their chest.
“Huwag hayaan masira at malagas ang kagubatan. Mahalin ang ating Inang kalikasan, Ingatan ang kagubatan, Alagaan at palaguin ang mga puno’t halaman.” ~ sinabi ng guy sa isang babae nakadungaw ang pubes :p
Sign in a New York building:
“Don’t die a Virgin.
Terrorists are up there waiting for you.”
“Hindi porket natikman mo eh sa’yo na, dahil kung minsan,
sadyang may FREE TASTE lang talaga!”
Ano kadalasan ang nangyayari o ginagawa pag kinikilig?
Si Babae, nangungurot, namumula, tumitili, nanghahampas ng katabi..
Si Lalake, nauutot, namumutla, tumitigas ang titi.. :p
**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.
“Kapag nagmamahal tayo. Nagbibigay tayo ng halos di na natin kayang ibigay, kasi nga nagmamahal tayo.”