Tumawag sa telepono si batang makulit.
BATA: “Hello po may TV kayo?”
LALAKI: “Meron, bakit?”
BATA: “Tumatakbo ba siya?”
BATA: “Itali niyo baka makawala yan.”
(nagalit ang lalake at binagsak ang phone, pagkatapos nang 5 minutes tumawag muli siya)
BATA: “Hello po, may TV kayo?”
LALAKI: (galit) “WALA!”
BATA: “Sabi ko sa inyo itali niyo eh. Nakawala tuloy!”
Pope Francis revealed recently that he once worked as a club bouncer in Buenos Aires. Where was Pope Francis when Anne Curtis slapped some celebrities at the Privé Luxury Club?
Isang bata ang kumaripas ng takbo sa ina.
ANAK: “Ma, sinungaling ka naman eh.”
ANAK: “Sabi mo yung kapatid kong baby eh isang munting anghel.”
INA: “oo naman.”
ANAK: “Eh bakit hindi siya lumipad nung hinagis ko siya galing sa rooftop?”
A lady was walking down the street when a man stopped her. "I’m taking a social survey," he said, "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?"
"I’m not sure," she replied, "I’m too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."
During a couple’s first anniversary, husband turned to his wife and said, "We should do something fun that we used to do before our wedding."
Being a respected married woman, his wife asked, "Like what, sweetie?"
A policeman sees two men on the street and approaches one of them and asks, "Where do you work?"
"Nowhere! I am unemployed!"
"And you?" says the cop looking at the second man.
"I am his deputy!"
Birthday ng kaibigan:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRIEND!
Birthday ng Best Friend mo:
MAY HANDAAN BA?
Man who pulls out too fast leaves rubber behind.
LALAKE: “Pag di ka pumayag makipag sex sa akin, ibig sabihin hindi mo talaga ako mahal.”
BABAE: “Pucha, may love meter ba yang penis mo at diyan makikita kung gaano kita kamahal? Sa liit niyan, eh hindi mo nga talaga ako ganoon ka mahal.”
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch… Amen
Ginamit mo lang yung nagamit kong kutsara, pinagkalat mo nang nilaplap mo ako. Huwag ganun!A man was blinded by another man. He went to a lawyer to find out how much money he could get. The lawyer told him, "Don’t bother, you’ll never see the money."
Pag nanliligaw: “Hatid na kita.”
Pag kayo na: “Hahatid pa ba kita?”
Pag tumagal na: “Text ka na lang pag nakauwi ka na.”
**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE.
"Pare-pareho lang natin gustong magkaroon ng taong mamahalin tayo at hindi sasaktan. Hindi masama ang mangarap, mahirap nga lang makahanap."