Sew Happy 12: Scrabble Pillows

Habang humihilab ang tiyan at hinihintay ang pag-iri ng nanganganay na Prinsesa ng Cambridge kagabi, at para hindi antukin sa pag aabang ng announcement sa TV, sumabay na rin ako ng pagtatahi ng scrabble pillows para sa home sweet home ko. O ha! Ako na ang pinaka-productive kuno!

Resulta: I’m feeling ngarag sa ngayon.

Sana lang ay makarating sa royal couple ng Britanya na kasalanan nila kung bakit puyat ang royal beauty ng Iligan sa ngayon. Charot.

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scrabble pillows

 

 

 

oOo

“Mas simple, mas maganda.”

 

 

Sunday Humor 07.21.13

peeping dog

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May nasipang bote si Pedro habang naglalakad. Umusok ito at may lumabas na genie.
GENIE: “Master, bibigyan kita ng isang wish.
PEDRO: “Lasenggero ako kaya lagi kong gustong makainom ng vodka kahit nasaang lugar ako. Kaya ang wish ko pag umihi ako gusto ko vodka ang lalabas.”
Granted ang wish niya kaya pagdating sa bahay, agad kumuha ng baso at umihi si Pedro. Malinaw ang ihi, inamoy at ininom. Sa isip niya ito ang pinakamasarap na vodkang nainom niya. Kumuha siya ng isang baso at umihi at pinainom sa asawa.
MISIS: “Ito ang pinakamasarap na vodkang natikman ko.”
Magdamag nag inuman ang dalawa. Kinabukasan pagkauwi ni Pedro sa trabaho..
PEDRO: “Honey, nandito na ko, kumuha ka ng isang baso!”
MISIS: “Honey, ba’t isang baso lang, ikaw lang iinom?”
PEDRO: “Siyempre tayong dalawa pero ngayong gabi sa bote ko ikaw iinom.”

A Drunk’s Prayer:

Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again,
also please forgive in advance for lying about never drinking again.

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Warning to all men:
Never piss off someone who bleeds for a week every month and doesn’t die.

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Tuwang tuwang pag nasabihang ng “sexy” pero pag sinabihan ng “ang sarap mo siguro ka sex,” magagalit..
Eh pareho lang yun eh. Kumbaga, parang parehong dumi na binato sa’yo, may pabango lang yung isa.

  •  

BOY: “Huy bakit di mo ko pinapansin buong araw?”
GIRL: “Tinulugan mo ko kagabi nung magka-text. Di ka na nagreply.”
BOY: “Wag ka na magtampo, sorry na.”
GIRL: “Ewan ko sayo.”
BOY: “Hindi mo ba alam na hindi ka dapat magalit sa taong nakatulog habang ka text ka, mas mabuti na yun kesa tini text ka nga pero may ka-sex namang iba.

  •  

Position of the Weekend:
Aries: Missionary
Taurus: Doggy
Gemini: 69
Cancer: Standing
Leo: Wheelbarrow
Virgo: Spread Eagle
Libra: Butterfly
Scorpion: Forbidden Fruit
Sagittarius: Ballerina
Capricorn: Cowgirl
Aquarius: Fusion
Pisces: Cradle

  •  

BOY: “Sex tayo?”
GIRL: “Sex nanaman? magusap naman tayo?”
BOY: “Sige… parang dirty sex talk?”
GIRL: “Hindi, yung usapan talaga.”
BOY: “Ok, ano paguusapan natin?”
GIRL: “Uhhm, yung paborito kong palabas… “my husband’s lover” ganda kasi eh.”
BOY: “Oo nga..”
GIRL: “Oo diba?”
BOY: “Oo naman… sarap ka sex ni Lally.”
GIRL: “Gago ka talaga!”

  •  

Ang successful na lalake ay yung kumita ng perang mas malaki pa sa ginagastos ng babae niya.
Ang successful naman na babae ay yung makahahanap ng lalakeng successful.

  •  

QUESTION: How to STOP a woman from Shopping?
ANSWER: Don’t even try! The stunt could be injurious to your health.

  •  

Safeguard says keep washing hands.
Colgate says keep brushing teeth.
Gillette says keep shaving.
Who’s next?
Trust condom?

  •  

Nakasimangot yung kaibigan ko kanina habang nagco-computer..
AKO: “O bakit ganyan ang mukha mo?”
SIYA: “Tuwing binubuksan ko tong gmail ko araw-araw na lang may email akong “How to increase your penis size?”
AKO: “Hahaha… spam.”
SIYA: “Hindi eh… galing sa misis ko oh.”

  •  

Hindi pala maganda ang masyadong matulungin. Tinulungan ko ng nga pulutin yung nahulog na sukli ng babae sa jeep, nasampal pa ko. Pucha, kasalanan ko bang mapagkamalan kong limang piso yung nasa legs niya?

  •  

“Accept what you can’t change, change what you can’t accept.”
Halimbawa, Tanggapin mo kung nabuntis mo siya, at maghanap ka ng iba kung di mo tanggap na baog siya.

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**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.

 

oOo

“Kumusta sa lahat ng may relasyon na punong-puno ng kasinungalingan.”

Fotografia

Por yur inpormeshen, pumo-PHOTOGRAPHY din ako noon.

Kahit point and shoot lang at wa-class ang brand ng kamera ko noon (aktwali hanggang ngayon), hindi ko pinalagpas ang magkunyaring “photographer”!

Oks lang yun noh! Kasi may hirit diyan ang mga poorita at bitter na kagaya kong can’t afford na makabili ng mamahaling camera. Na kesyo , “it’s the eye for the shots that speaks and not the gear.”  Charot!

Yun daw ang importanter.

Enweys, ipo-post ko ang mga lumang random shots kong ‘to kasi balak ko na silang burahin sa hard drive ko.

Geneva, Switzerland


“In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.”
(SIMON & GARFUNKEL, Sound of Silence)
Photo Location: Geneva, Switzerland

 

Place de la Concorde, Paris

Place de la Concorde
Photo Location: Paris, France

 

Frankfurt, Germany

Hazy Shade of Winter
Photo Location: Frankfurt, Germany

 

Swiss Alps

Photo Location: Bern Switzerland

 

Munich, Germany

Munich Street Scene
Photo Location: Munich, Germany

 

Paris, France

Hotel Du Louvre At Night

 

Hotel Du Louvre

Hotel Du Louvre By Day

 

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“Time hurries on.
And the leaves that are green turn to brown,
And they wither with the wind,
And they crumble in your hand.”
( SIMON & GARFUNKEL, Leaves That Are Green)
Photo Location: Munich, Germany

 

Frankfurt, Germany-002

“I’d rather be a forest than a street.
Yes I would.
If I could,
I surely would.”
( as sung by Simon & Garfunkel “El Condor Pasa”)
Photo Location: Frankfurt, Germany

 

River Seine, Paris France

“Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you.”
(as sung by Simon & Garfunkel “Bookends “)
Photo Location: The River Seine, Paris, France

 

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Photo Location: Frankfurt, Germany

 

Paris, France-001

Photo Location: Paris, France

 

Paris, France-002

Photo Location: Paris, France

Arc de Triomphe, Paris, France

Arc de Triomphe
Photo Location: Paris, France

 

Emoterang German

“When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part “
(SIMON & GARFUNKEL, Bridge Over Troubled Water)
Photo Location: Frankfurt, Germany


 oOo

“You don’t make a photograph just with a camera. You bring to the act of photography all the pictures you have seen, the books you have read, the music you have heard, the people you have loved.”

 

 

 

 

Sew Happy 11: (Envelope Pillow Case)

Tahi-tahi din ng bagong punda ng mga sofa cushion pag may time.

DIY Pillow Envelope 

SAKO ng ARINA at mga reta-retasong kulay-tsokolate na tela ang ginamit ko kaya wala akong ginastos dito.

DIY Pillow Envelope-003

Mga isa’t kalahating oras lang ang ginugol ko sa pagtatahi sa lahat ng 4 pieces of cushion cover. Taray!

DIY Pillow Envelope-001

Wala na akong ginamit na zipper, snaps o buttons sa likod kasi envelope-type of pillow cases ang mga itey. Again, no gastos.

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Haays…ako na talaga si Inday Tipid.

DIY Pillow Envelope-002 

Happy weekend!

 

oOo

“Happiness is found by living your life day to day, smiling and surrounding yourself with positive and loving people.”

Tuesday Humor 07.16.13

dirty-humor-funny-14

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DUAL SIM:
Yan ang cellphone ng mga babaerong boyfriend at malalanding girlfriend.

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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

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A week before his wedding, a guy sowed the last of his wild oats with all the girls he dated. At the end, his dick was literally twisted. He begged his doctor to help him but the best the doc could do was tape the worn part between four thin slats creating a splint.
On his honeymoon, his bride spreads her legs and said, “Honey, look, never been touched by a man.”
The man undid his pants and replied, “Look, honey, still in its original crate!”

  •  

Hindi ka naman fishball
pero bakit ang hilig mo magpatuhog
at magpasawsaw?

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A wife asked her husband to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy and beautiful..
The husband came back drunk.

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Kapag bored at mag-isa mga unang naiisip gawin ng babae:

  1. makipagtsimisan sa kaibigan 
  2. magbasa ng romantic novel 
  3. magshopping sa mall 
  4. manood ng teleserye sa tv
  5. tapusin ang mga gawaing bahay

Mga unang naiisip gawin ng lalake:

  1. magjakol 
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Women are never wrong..
Just sometimes
confused
childish
stubborn
senseless
emotional
crazy
unchangeable
but NEVER WRONG.

  •  

A couple were expecting their first child any time. The father is confident it would be a boy. As fate would have it he was given a temporary assignment to a provincial city. In order to avoid giving a party to his officemates for the birth of his child, he asks his father to send him a telegram that will read, “the clock has arrived,” and he will understand that a son is born.
D-day came and his wife gave birth to a girl. Being an ingenious person, the husband’s father sent a telegram that reads, “the clock has arrived with the pendulum missing.”

  •  

WOMAN: “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.”
MAN: “That’s very kind of you, dear, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.”
WOMAN: “Well that’s because we’re not married yet.”

  •  

Selosong mister tumawag kay misis.
MR.: “Asan ka ngayon?”
MRS: “Nasa bahay..”
MR: “I-On mo nga ang blender!”
(mrs pinaandar ang blender)
MR: “Okay, akala ko umalis ka.”
(maya-maya tumawag na naman si mister)
MR: Asan ka?”
MRS: “Nasa bahay nga..”
MR: “I-On mo ang blender!”
(misis pinaandar ang blender)
MR: “Ganyan dapat para walang duda!”
(umuwi bigla si mister at nakita ang anak sa labas)
MR: “Asan mama mo?”
ANAK: “Umalis po  at may dala-dalang BLENDER!”

  •  

In ancient Greece,
Throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.
Now, Greek men still throw an apple…
An Iphone 5!

  •  

Observation:
A man can talk on any subject for an hour.. That is Talent!
A woman can give a lecture for hours without any subject.

  •  

Ang panliligaw ay parang paglalaro ng videogame.
Kelangan mong malaman kung pano mo mapagtatagumpayan ang mga challenges para makarating sa next level.
Kaya kung panget ka, isipin mo nalang naka hard mode ka!

  •  

Sex is not all men think about..
They also think about women being naked. :p

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**All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.

 

 oOo

“Sometimes, the simplest things mean the most.”

Monday Humor 07.15.13

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Only in the Philippines…
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police or the fire department.

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Kwentuhan ng magkaibigan.
FRIEND1: “Pards, wala ka bang ipapa date sakin?”
FRIEND2: “Single ka pa rin?”
FRIEND1: “Oo, 8 years na ako palaging basted.”
FRIEND2: “Tagal na ah.”
FRIEND1: “Kakasawa na nga eh.”
FRIEND2: “Gawan mo kasi ng paraan.”
FRIEND1: “Sobrang desperado ko na nga, naisip ko nang mag imaginary girlfriend.”
FRIEND2: “Kabaliwan na yan pre. ano nangyari?”
FRIEND1: “Binasted pa rin ako eh.”

  •  

A drunk at a bar,
“I don’t have a drinking addiction…
I have a drinking celebration.”

  •  

A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crashed near his farm. The police came and investigated the incident. The farmer told them what he saw and buried all of them. One of the policeman asked, “Are you sure they were all dead?”
The farmer replied, “Some of them were screaming, ‘we are still alive,” but I couldn’t believe them. Politicians can lie a lot!”

  •  

Si Juan papasok sa heaven.
SAN PEDRO: “Forget that world. Here there is no work. There are no doctors or hospitals, firemen, teachers…”
JUAN: “Palagay ko po nasa Pilipinas pa din ako.”

  •  

A wife was complaining about her husband spending his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with im.
“What will you have?” he asked. “The same as yours I suppose,” she replied.
The husband a couple of bourbon and threw his down in one gulp. His wife then took a sip and immediately spat it out. “Yuck, that’s horrible,” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff.”
“Well, there you go,” he replied. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

  •  

Kadalasang palusot ng ibang babae at lalake kapag na-late sila. At ang mga totoong dahilan.
BABAE:
Palusot: Trapik
Ang Totoo: Gumising nang maaga pero mabagal kumilos, matagal maligo, nagpapatuyo pa ng buhok, nag make-up, nag shave ng bulbol.
LALAKE:
Palusot: Trapik
Ang Totoo: Nag alarm ng isang oras bago time. Pag nag alarm, mag snooze ng 5 minutes. Pagkatapos ng 5 mins, pinatay ang alarm. Nagjakol. Tsaka nagmamadali sa pagligo at bihis.

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WIFE: “May I borrow your phone for a second.
HUSBAND: “Wait, let me switch it on. (deletes video, pixs, private folder, sms, mms, outgoing and incoming calls…format memory card) Here you go, I have nothing to hide from you!”

  •  

Please pray for one of my friends..
This morning as he buttoned his shirt, a button fell. He picked up his briefcase, the handle came off. Then he opened his room door, the knob fell off. He went into his car, the handle came off. Now he’s afraid to pee…

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KISS 
Best way to shut a woman up.
BOOBS
Best Way to shut a Man up. 

  •  

Teacher: “How old are you?”
Student: “Check with the registrar.”
Teacher: “Where are you from?”
Student: “Check with the registrar.”
Teacher: “Whom do you love most, mother or father?”
Student: “Ask my heart.”
Teacher: “That’s stupid! Where is your heart?”
Student: “Ask your daughter.”
Teacher nearly collapsed.

  •  

Sabi nila masarap ang may inspiration. Laging blooming, nagaayos at hapi. Ngunit ano silbi ng inspiration mo kung ganito iso-solve mo:
integral 4 x^2-3+2/4 x ^2-4 + 3 dx (use pfd to evaluate); integral tan ^2 sec x sin ^3 (x)
Anong sabi ng inspirasyon mo?

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** All of the above jokes courtesy of MIKE B.

 

oOo

“Surprises are always better than promises.”

 

 

 

Super Inday

Ang taray! Wala pang 9am pero tapos na ako sa routinary kasambahay chores ko.

Cook breakfast para sa mga amo ko. –  CHECK!

Linis at mop ng sahig sa living area at kusina. – CHECK!

Ligpit ng mga kalat sa kwarto. – CHECK!

bedroom

Konting linis sa banyo. –  CHECK!
bathroom
Ako na talaga!

Ako na si Super Woman Inday! Char!

Pwede na kumuyakoy si Super Inday! :D

Bonggels!

oOo

“My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.”  ~Bette Midler