SALESGIRL: “You can’t smoke here.”
CUSTOMER: “But I bought from this shop.”
SALESGIRL: “We sell condom too, but it doesn’t mean you can fuck here.”

TEACHER: “What is meant by serial killer?”
GIRL: “The man who adds poison in someone’s cereal.”

GIRL: “Any love cards?”
SHOPKEEPER: “How about this, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’.”
GIRL: “Great! I want 10 of them .”

REPORTER: “How does it feel to become a millionaire?”
MILLIONAIRE: “Sad, because I am not a billionaire.”

TEACHER: “Why are you late for school?”
KID: “Because of the Sign.”
TEACHER: “What Sign?”
KID: “It says "School ahead, go slow"

LITTLE GIRL: “Mom! Boy next door have a penis like a peanut.”
MOM: “Do you mean it is small.”
GIRL: “No Mom! Its salty.”

A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for pepper.
ATTENDANT: “Black pepper or white pepper?”
FRENCH: “Toilette pepper!”

BABY FISH: “Why can’t we live on earth?”
MOTHER FISH: “Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for SELFISH.”

QUESTION: “What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead cheetah?”
ANSWER: “Wow! New UNDERWEAR.”

QUESTION: “What do you call a girl who complains a lot?”
ANSWER: “MONA.”

QUESTION: “What do you call someone whose used to be called Lee?”
ANSWER: “FORMERLY.”

QUESTION: “What do you call a fish with no eye?”
ANSWER: “FSH!”

QUESTION: “Why do gorillas have big nostrils?”
ANSWER: “Coz they got big fingers!!”

QUESTION: “What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?”
ANSWER: “Melt them, turn them into tire and call it Goodyear.”

Underwear color reflects mood.
Red: Wild
Black: Sex
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it

3 wonders of a woman :
1. Give milk without eating grass
2. Get wet without water
3. Bleed for a week without going to die

Three ways of fast communication :
1. Television
2. Telephone
3. Tell-a-woman

PHILOSOPHY : Small things hurt a lot.
Example : You can sit on a mountain but not on a pin.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Men are like cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

World’s shortest resignation letter? "Respected sir, I love your wife".

I saw you on road today. You were looking so fine. My heart started singing a song : Who Let The Dog Out!

oOo

“Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man!”

Sino ba naman ang hindi mangingiti dito.

Kalurkey!!!!

Photos via: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

GOOD MORNING, PILIPAYNS!

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

“mickeyminnieplutohueylouiedeweydonaldgoofysacramento”

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Dito…

Kalurkey!

SMILE! Everyone loves a moron.

Happy weekend, folks!

Hindi na ako nagpupunta sa mga porn sites. Lol!

Kaya naman sa mga ganitong larawan na lang ako tumitingin at nai-enhance pa imagination ko.

Hays…eh kasi naman, mahigit kalahating taon pa hihintayin ko bago umuwi si Kups ko. Saklap talaga buhay ni Mamaru. Lol!

Buti pa ang sepilyo…may totpeyst!

* * * * * *

Quote of the day:
“He who laughs last thinks slowest.”

If YES, eh ano naman ngayon? Wahaha!

Hays… dagsaan na naman ang mga pipol sa mga beaches.

Siempre kung may beaches, siguradong dudumog din ang mga bitches.

Tiyak ko, palawlawan at paiksian na naman ng damit ang mga bebot.

Sa mga nasa bahay lang, sigurado ko rin na biglang spike ang electric bill nyo ngayong buong summer dahil sa halos 24 hours na andar ng air conditioner nyo.

At dun sa mga nagbabalak maglagay ng air condition unit sa tinitirhan nila, huwag nyo sana gagayahin ang engot na ‘to na parang nakikipag appointment na rin kay San Pedro magka-AC lang. Wag maging pasaway!