SA BOTICA..

CUSTOMER: (pabulong) “‘Day, isang condom nga..”

SALESLADY: “Sayz Sir!”

CUSTOMER: (nahiya) “small lang.. hehehe..”

SALESLADY: “hindi Sir, sayz pisos ang isa!”

After 50 years…

URBANA: “Mare, how’s your sex life?”

DOLORES: “Well, sa age ni pare mo, MUKHA na lang ang nagagalit, BALAHIBO na lang ang tumatayo at UBO na lang ang matigas.”

“Alam kong may gusto ka sa akin. Pasimple ka pa. Bakit hindi mo ako seryosohin? Pero bago ang lahat, gusto ko, alam mo na hindi ako easy-to-get.” – FLAT 1.0 grade

“Huwag po nating salubungin ang mga bumababa. Hindi po natin sila kamag-anak.” – LRT OPERATOR

AMO: “Bakit ka umiiyak?”

KATULONG: “Sabi po ni dok tatanggalan po ako ng butlig.”

AMO: “Butlig lang iiyak ka na.”

KATULONG: “Kasi ok lang kung right lig or left lig lang po pero bakit naman butligs pa!”

MISTER: (nagbabasa ng diaryo) “Ayon dito sa survey, ang lalaking may-asawa ay mas mahaba ang buhay kesa lalaking walang asawa.”

MISIS: “Kaya pasalamat ka at napangasawa mo ako.”

MISTER: “Kaya dapat humanap ako ng isa pang asawa para mas humaba ang buhay ko!”

A guy asked a passer-by: “What’s the quickest way to York?”

“Are you walking or driving?”

“Driving.”

“That’s the quickest way.”

A guy went to visit his disabled friend. After talking for a while, the wheelchair-bound man said: “My feet are getting cold. Would you be so kind to get my slippers from the main bedroom?”

The guest obliged and went through the bedroom where he bumped into his friend’s 2 teenage daughters who were both very attractive. Thinking on his feet, he said, “Hi, ladies. Your daddy sent me to have sex with you.”

The girls stared at him and said: “That can’t be!”

“Ok,” he replied. “Let’s check.”

So he shouted through to his friend: “Both of them?”

Back came the reply: “Yes, both of them.”

A drunk was staggering around the car park of a bar, feeling the roofs of the various cars.

“What are you doing?” asked a fellow customer.

“I’m looking for my car,” said the drunk, swaying unsteadily, “and I can’t find it.”

“How does feeling the roof help you?”

“Because,” said the drunk, “my car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof.”

** Above SMS jokes courtesy of KUPS SPUK.

Eh kasi babati din lang ng Happy Birthday ang loko ay sinamahan pa ng request na para bang mapapasubo yata ako.Lol!

Hindi ko akalain na curious si Mike kung may birthday greetings din si Kups sa akin. Hahaha! Heniways, sige isi-share ko.

Pero magpapakatotoo muna ako ha?

Kasalukuyang hindi kami in speaking term ni Kups. Gaya din ng ibang couple na nasa relasyon ay hindi kami exempted ni Kups sa mga pagsubok. Nagiging sunod-sunod ang problema namin lately.

For the record, ok na ok kami ni Kups sa isa’t isa. Wala kaming duda sa nararamdaman namin. Yun nga lang, may mga ibang tao na para bang napaka-determinado na sirain kami. May mga nakikialam na mga nakapaligid sa amin. Ayun tuloy nagkakaroon kami ng problema, naiimpluwensyahan kami at nagkakahinanakitan. Haays, para tuloy kaming showbiz couple na binabato lagi ng intriga. Okinams! Lol! Ang kunswelo na lang talaga namin dalawa ay yung katotohanan na kung meron man kami nagiging problema, kadalasan ang dahilan ay hindi nanggagaling sa mga sarili namin mismo.

Impernes, personally, ang dami ko natutunan sa relasyon namin ni Kups. Hindi basta-basta ang wento namin.

Pero bilib lang din ako sa aming dalawa ni Kups kasi kahit may pinagdadaanan kami at hindi nag-uusap, never naman kami nagbabatuhan ng mga masasakit na salita o nagsisiraan. We rather keep quiet na lang and give space sa isa’t isa para magpalamig.

Hehe! Nangingiti ako tuwing naalala ko ang minsan na sinabi ko kay Kups noon. Na kung saka-sakaling man na magkatuluyan kami o halimbawa maging mag-asawa kami, siempre siento por siento na hindi talaga maiiwasan na magkakaroon kami ng away. Bilin ko sa kanya, mag-away na kami kung mag-away, tampuhan na kung tampuhan, basta wag na wag namin idadamay ang sex life namin. Hahaha!

Kumbaga, pagdating sa kembelar sa bed kelangan kalimutan ang away. Kelangan ceasefire! Tsaka na lang i-resume ang warlalu pagkatapos na ng escabechehan at kembotan. Wahaha! Howel, sabi ko lang naman yun. Wag nyo ko seryosohin.

Nagpapasalamat ako kay Kups kasi hindi naging madamot sa pagpapakita ng concern sa akin kahit hindi kami maayos sa ngayon. Siguro, ganun naman yata dapat ang maging attitude ng couple. Ang huwag kalimutan ang magpakatao at sa pagpapakita ng respeto sa isa’t isa.

Linggo pa lang, bumati na si kups sa akin at kay Kevin.

At hindi naman din sya nakalimot na sundan pa ang pagbati noong Sabado.

Hindi ko naipaalam kay Kups na ipo-post ko ‘to pero sana maintindihan nya. (Kasalanan ‘to ni Mike! Hehe!) Tsaka bertdey ko naman eh. Lol! Ang intensyon ko lang naman dito ay ipa-abot sa mga readers kong nasa relasyon din na kahit anong laki ng tampuhan nyo, kasehodang umabot na siguro sa hiwalayan ay hinding-hindi masama na magpakita pa rin ng pagki-care o malasakit sa partner lalo na kung yung feeling of concern mo ay talagang super-sincere naman.

oOo

People living deeply have no fear of death.- Anais Nin

41. Love him for always making me cry. Tears washes my eyes. Perhaps for me to see more clearly.

42. Love him for the dozen of roses he sent. I displayed them all in one corner of my house. I still adore seeing them every day – dried.

43. Love him for the ring. Though haven’t tried it on, it melts my heart just staring at it. Wondering if it fits my finger. I don’t have a ring. Never had one.

44. Love him for not scolding me. Not even once. For my offenses and mistakes.

45. Love him for always leaving me without a word. Maybe for him to test me if I am still here when he comes back.

46. Love him for ignoring me. For the silent treatment. Gives me time to scrutinize and be connected to myself once again.

47. Love him for emailing me jokes. He makes “ambag” to my collection of SMS jokes. He supports Maruism.

48. Love him for giving me his pictures. More than 5 pieces already! For me to share to my friends and prove that, “Hey! See! He’s real!”

49. Love him for not staying up late at night anymore. His doctor will be glad.

50. Love him for no more waking up and dragging himself out of the bed very early in the morning. No more unholy hours of getting up just to talk to me online. Although I miss the deed. He will be healthier. His doctor will be happier.

51. Love him for sharing me stories about England. The lousy weather, the snow, et al.

52. Love him for the plans we make. Some of it are too good to be true. Nonetheless, it always gives me a different kind of high when imagining.

53. Love him for pushing me to Google, to where exactly Devon is. Devon, one perfect place in the UK to spend weekends.

54. Love him more if he will initiate to take less salt, eat less meat, have more veggies and fruits in his diet. His doctor will be happy again. I will be the happiest.

55. Love him for always thinking of me. I assume.

56. Love him for not calling me anymore. To save more British pounds on telephone bills.

57. Love him for being the only guy who sent me Ferrero Rocher – how did he know it’s my fave?

58. Love him for his tireless, unconditional support. Be it financial and emotional. For the moral support he gave me during one particular time. When I begged him to stay. Yes, even for a while. He stayed.

59. Love him for his emails, SMS, and IMs. I don’t get tired saving them and reading them repeatedly when I miss him.

60. Love him for always puling me up. When sometimes I find myself almost hitting the bottom. For reaching me out. Even when I refuse to extend my hand and ask for his help.

61. Love putting him as my cell phone wallpaper. The longest ever.

62. Love him for telling me I am sexy. Even when I am already aware of the fact. Lol.

63. Love him for trying hard to make me believe him. That I am desirable to him. Even if I am not really convinced and always in doubt.

64. Love him whenever he gives me a tune. Do a sort of beat boxing of “Ice, ice baby!“, Gosh! It never fails to give me a cackle!

65. Love him for being a successful man – to make me happy in making me happy.

oOo

The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings and commitment with. – Paulo Coelho

Kalokah! Umagang-umaga, nasa kalagitnaan ba naman ako ng pagro-rosaryo at ng Wednesday NOVENA ko (weh! di nga?! charot!), eh pasahan ba naman ako neto:

Sus mariano garapon! Buti na lang hindi ako mahilig sa bebelgam dahil aminado ako…wala akong ka-talent-talent sa ganito. Oo, mas gusto ko kumain ng lilipap, pero sensya na…ayaw ko talaga ng bebelgam. Ayaw! Ayaw! Ayaw!

Tenkyu Lord! Buti na lang pareho kami ni Kups na ayaw ng bebelgam! Wahaha!

Ako man ay mahilig sa mga quotes, ng kahit anong quotes. Araw-araw, walang palya…I feed myself reading quotes sa Twitter ko. Maybe it’s just me, pero nakakahugot din ako ng lakas at inspirasyon kahit sa pagbabasa lang ng quotes. Quotes lang, napapaganda na minsan ang araw ko.

Pagdating naman sa define:LOVE quotes, ay gusto ko yan! Masaya yan! May kanya-kanya din tayong paboritong quotes at definition diyan. Naaalala ko tuloy noong bagets pa ako…tuwang-tuwa ako pag isini-share sa akin ng mga grade school classmates ko ang slumbook nila. Siempre, hindi nawawala dun ang nangunguna at walang kamatayan na “Define LOVE” at iba pang ka-charotan na kelangan sagutan! Siempre dahil mga bata at virgin pa kami ng mga kaklase ko noon, kaya kadalasan ay ganito ang mga inosenteng sagot namin noon:

Love is God.

Love is Papa and Mama.

Love is like a rosary that is full of mystery.

Love is….secret!

Hehe! Ah basta…marami pang mga korning eklavu noon na mga definition ang LOVE, hindi ko lang matandaan.

LOVE…habang tumatanders ako, natural nag-iiba ang paniniwala at kahulugan ko ng salitang LOVE. Para sa akin, eto na yata ang pinaka-ULTIMATE, pinaka-MAGANDA at pinaka-TOTOOng kahulugan ng salitang LOVE…

Pagdating sa lablayp ko, pag nawiwindang ako sa sarili ko, pag hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin sa mga nangyayari at pag hindi ko ma-explain ang nararamdaman ko sa boypren ko. . . yang quote na yan ang sinisiksik ko sa bungo ko…buong puso na isinasagawa at isinasabuhay.

Ikaw? Anong sa ‘yo?

oOo

To love without condition, to talk without intention, to give without reason and to care for someone without expectation is the art of TRUE RELATION.

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large gathering. All of their friends and family came to witness the lovely ceremony and partake of the festivities and celebration. Everyone had a wonderful time.

The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal:

"I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage," she said. "Each of us will write a list of things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together." The husband agreed. So they retreated to two separate rooms and started making out their respective lists. And this absorbing task took them the rest of the day to accomplish.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided they would share each other’s listed annoyances. "I’ll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it, enough to fill three pages. As she started reading her list, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband’s eyes.

"What’s wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," the husband replied. "Please keep reading."

The wife continued until she had read all three pages. Then she placed her list neatly on the table and folded her hands on top of it. "Now, you read your list and then we’ll talk about the things on both of our lists," she said with eager anticipation.

Quietly the husband said, "I don’t have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way you are. I don’t want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn’t want to try changing anything about you."

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

Awww! Kahanga-hanga naman si Mister. Kaka-inlab lalo.

Well, sa buhay nga naman, hindi man kagandahan ang lahat na nangyayari sa atin…pero kelangan bang seryosuhin yun at i-emote ng bongga? Sows, bakt ba kasi kelangan pang pansinin ang mga chakaness (kapangitan) kesa kagandahan? Bakit ba kasi kelangan pang magbilangan ng mga kakulangan!

Ang lahat sa buhay ay masarap (parang ako. Hihihi!). Joke lang. Op kors, ang plastik ko naman kung sasabihin kong totoo yun.  Maalala ko, may mga times din na nasasabi sa akin ni Kups ang linyang, ”Life is unfair”. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit minsan nakakapag-emote ng ganun ang lolo nyo.

Minsan kasi eh hindi maiwasan ni Kups ang ma-disappoint, ma-prostate ma-frustrate sa relasyon namin. Pareho kaming ilang beses na rin nainis at na-depress (uy, nag rhyme!) sa mga masamang pangyayari na para bang hindi justified, at sa tingin namin…definitely we don’t deserve. Pero hays…tama na nga muna ang maging bitter ocampo. Sayang ang oras.

Heniways, I want to close this post in positive note. I believe pa rin that we are the happiest when we see and praise the good and try our very best to forget the bad. Mas maigi na pansinin na lang ang mga magagandang bagay…ang mga magaganda na andiyan lang aktwali sa harap natin. Kaya naman, speaking of magaganda – pansinin nyo ‘ko, titigan nyo ko! Syet!

oOo

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore.

Dream.

Discover.”

—Mark Twain

Kuuuu! Tigas kasi ng ulo! Sarap tsinelasin!

Mga ilang taon na lang hihintayin ko. Siguro naman darating din ang panahon na sila na talaga ang magluluto ng almusal para sa amin tatlo….at ako naman ay babangon para lumafang na lang.

Pero sana mag level up na ako. Gusto ko sana sa mga susunod na panahon… yung paghahanda ng “almusal” naman ni Kups ang aasikasuhin ko. Bahala na kayo mag isip kung anong klaseng almusal ang tinutukoy ko. Basta sisiguraduhin kong yummy sya.

O ha! One year na ang LDR (long distance relationship) namin! Siempre dahil espesyales ang petsa na ‘to (na sana ay gawing national holiday next year. lol!) eh napag-usapan namin na magse-selebreyt kami op kors. Kasehodang nasa kabilang panig ng mundo ang location nya…magde-deyt pa rin kami. Choos! Lalabas ako ng bahay at sasamahan nya akong kakain ng lunch sa resto via Skype or YM.

Take note, LIBRE nya!

10:30am pa lang ay andun na ako sa tagpuan namin (tagpuan ka diyan!). Umorder muna ako ng Nachos with Hot Salsa habang naghihintay sa pag online ng jowa ko.

Howel, naubos ko na ang appetizer ko…at isang oras na ang nakalipas ay wala pa rin ang ka-deyt ko. Nakngtokneneng!

Almost 12 noon na at talagang tom jones (gutom) na ako. Esep-esep ko mukang di na nga yata ako sisiputin ng partner ko. Hmmn… bakit kaya? Baka may emergency na nangyari. Hehe! Ako na rin ang nagpaliwanag sa sarili ko.

Well, bago pa man ako himatayin sa gutom dahil sa kahihintay, I’ve ordered Baby Back Ribs na at taimtim na kumain mag-isa.

Masarap! Malasa ang karne at malambot. Mukhang 48 years na naka-marinade. Lol!

Habang nilalantakan ko ang pananghalian ko…wala pa rin si Kupal. Hmp!

Nagtitinga na ako at oorder na ng kape nang biglang nag-online si Kups. Ayun!

Napasarap daw ang tulog nya at hindi nagising agad. Nag sorry naman ang pobre. Hindi na ako nagagalit sa mga ganung pangyayari kasi understandable naman, seven hours kaya ang time difference namin noh! Hirap kaya bumangon sa madaling araw lalo na’t malamig ang kinaroroonan nya.

Here’s my Red Riding Hood Mocha coffee na isang sako yata ng asukal ang hinalo! Over sa tamisssss!

Heniways, late man dumating ang ka-deyt ko… super-enjoy pa rin kaming nag-selebreyt ng anniversary namin ni Kups kahit via web lang kami nagkasama. Mga past 2PM na nang mag-logout si Kups. Time for him to get ready para mag-opis dun sa Landon.

Nag-uwi rin ako ng food for my bagets…at siempre, pwede ba naman ang walang keyk?

Para sa unang anibersaryo.

The Happy Mamaru!

The venue.

Masarap food nila dito. Price is reasonable. Higit sa lahat, winner ang C.R. nila. Ang linis at ang bangooooooo! Sa linis, parang gusto kong dun na lang magkape sa loob ng C.R. nila kanina. Lol!

Nag-ayos ako kanina ng mga picture folders kong mga nakakalat sa hard drive ko. Natigil ako dito sa isang peborit kong kuha na larawan. At biglang nag senti-mode lang naman si Mamaru.

‘La lang, na-miss ko lang naging high feeling ko noon habang nasa lugar na ‘to, lalo na ang pagpupursige mong makarating ako dito.

Balang araw babalikan ko ang Dream City kong ‘to. Balang araw sa pagbalik ko, gusto ko kasama na kita. Balang araw, tatayo tayong dalawa dito sa tuktok ng tore na ‘to…na  magkayakap… na magkahawak-kamay… na parehong may tali sa mga paa…na magpapa-stolen shots habang nagba-bungee jumping! Ayus!