TANONG: Ano ang gagawin mo kung makagat ka ng isang asong bungal?
SAGOT:Eh di magpa-injection ka ng walang karayom! Mahirap na, di ba?

Para makatipid sa load, gumamit ng kalapati ang magsyota imbes na cellphone para sa mensahe nila.
Dumating ang kalapati na walang dala.
BF: “Bakit wala?”
GF: “Missed Call yun!”

VALUES.
GURO: “Kung nakita ko ang isang tao na nananakit ng unggoy at pinigilan ko sya, anong ugali mayroon ako?”
JUAN: “Pagmamahal sa kapatid!”

SA BAHAY NG GF:
JUAN: “Sensya na, pinakialaman at nakain ko yung MANI sa platito!”
GF: “Okay lang, NASIPSIP na naman ni lola yung TSOKOLATE nyan!”

GURO:”Mrs, pinatawag kita dahil ang salbahe ni Juan pagkagaling ng bakasyon!”
INA: “Aba mam, 2 buwan salbahe yan sa bahay pero di kita pinatawag!”

Paano magsisante ng TAMAD na katulong ng di magdaramdam.
“Inday di ko alam kung paano mabuhay ng WALA ka pero simula bukas, susubukan namin!”

Mula sa unknown text:
BOY: “Hi! May BF ka?”
GIRL: “Meron, sino ka?”
BOY: “Papa mo ‘to, humanda ka lang pag uwi ko!”

BOY: “Hi, may BF ka?”
GIRL: “Wala no, di uso sakin yan. Sino ka pala?”
BOY: “Boyfriend mo ‘to, sinaktan mo na naman ako.”
GIRL: “Oh, sorry babe. I thought ikaw si Papa.”
BOY: “Yes! Ako nga to, Papa mo!! Humanda ka lang talaga pag uwi ko, bibitayin kita babae ka!!”

GMA in serious medical condition, asking to pray for her!

Somebody’s Prayer:
“Aba naman Gloria,
napupuno ka ng Grasya!
Ang yaman ng bansa ay sumasaiyo na.
Sa husay ni Garci naging pekeng Pangulo ka!
Bukod kang mandaraya sa babaeng lahat.
Pinagpala ring mangurakot, asawa mo’t anak.
Kaya’t wala ng natira sa AMEN.”

JUAN: “Miss, I love your smile.”
MISS: “Why?”
JUAN: “Because, my favorite color is YELLOW.”

10 SUPLADO COMMANDMENTS
1. Thou shall be suplado at all times.
2. Thou shall not make the first move.
3. Thou shall not be accommodating at all times.
4. Thou shall not reply to text messages.
5. Thou shall be loyal to the suplado society,
6. Thou shall believe that suplado is the new sexy.
7. Thou shall not greet friends or relatives when there is an occassion.
8. Thou shall not smile or nod at your friends or relatives when you see them.
9. Thou shall delete contacts and friends in phonebooks and social networking sites.
10. Thou shall not use the suplado tips for world domination.

Laugh is….
Ito ata yung ginagamit panulat kapag walang BALLPEN.

WIFE: “BAKLA ka pala! iiwan na kita!”
HUSBAND: “Wait Honey! San ka pupunta?”
WIFE: “Manlalalaki!”
HUSBAND: “Dalawahin mo huh? TIG-ISA tayo… ”

Magsyotang PIPI nag usap:
BOY:
GIRL:
BOY:
GIRL:
BOY:
GIRL:
so sad, break na sila !!

TIP.
Kapag wala kang experience sa trabahong inaaplayan mo, humingi ka ng malaking sweldo! Aba, mahirap magtrabaho ng di mo alam gagawin mo!

oOo

“Hindi buo ang barkada kung walang tanga.”

Aber nga, kung may jowa ka ngayon at trip nyo ang lumagay sa gulo…sige nga try nyo raw sagutin ang wedded bless quiz na itetch na gawa ng isang Rabbi. Tingnan nyo kung pwede na kayo. Walang kopyahan ha?

Shempre, out of curiosity ay sumagot din ako sa questionnaire. Shaks! Out of 20 nasa mga 10 correct answers lang ako. Nyek! Ba’t ganun? Yung kalahati eh wiz ko knows ang sagot! Dami ko pa pala hindi alam. Haha! Buti na lang bata pa ‘ko para mag-asawa.

Sa pag-aasawa, hindi lang pala sapat na compatible kayo. Importante din pala na sufficient ang pagkakakilala nyo sa isa’t isa – ng malalim.

Read full article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1374678/Would-pass-wedded-bliss-quiz-Get-fewer-correct-think-again.html

oOo

I took the pleasure of answering the What Song Are You quiz because its kinda short. Take a look of my answers.

1. What’s your favorite color?

• Black
• Red
• Green
• Pink

2. If you could be any of the following animals what would you be?

• Dog
• Cat
• Snake
• Bird

3. Which of the following words describe you?

• Outgoing
• Depressed
• Crazy
• Clumsy

4. What is your favorite genre of rock

• Punk Rock/Emo
• Pop Rock
• Other
• Classic Hard Rock

5. What’s your favorite thing to do?

• Hang out with your friends
• Read
• Go watch a movie
• Go see what attractions there are in the world

6. Which of the following do you think is the best sport

• Basketball
• Football
• Swimming
• Baseball

7. What do you think to yourself in the mourning?

• I wish this is just a dream
• I’m going to have to waste my time again
• Time to go have some fun
• Whats there to do

8. Which emotion do you feel the most?

• Happiness
• Loneliness
• Compassion
• Sorrow

And here’s the results. . .

You are The Mixed Tape by Jack’s Mannequin!

You are very strong, and you’ll do anything to get what you want. You are a deep thinker, and smart on your feet.

Take the ‘What song are you?‘ quiz!

Ginaya ko si Jovi, na gumaya din kay Def. Sino kaya ang gagaya sa akin? – Isaganirx

Akooooooo! Makiki-gaya siempre si Mamaru! I took the quiz and see what i got!

I AM
66%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”

Like Optimus Prime, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you use technology when you need to, but you do not embrace the latest trends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AWARDS GALORE

Thank you, Jojiepie

.

BEAUTY is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. – Sophia Loren

I think the quality of SEXINESS comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.-Sophia Loren

Thank you, Jeangrey, Myglitch and Bluepanjeet for the Friendship.

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” — Bernard Meltzer.

What Kind of Panties Are You? In tagalog, Nagpapanty ka pa ba? Hmmmn, tama ba pagka-intindi at pagka-translate ko sa tagalog? Hehehe! Bisaya ako eh.

Ok, seryosohan muna. Kung ako daw ba ay naging salumpepe, anong klaseng salumpepe daw ako? Ayos! interesting di bah? Sandali lang naman ang tanungan at sagutan portion dun at dyaraaaann!!! Eto ang resulta:

*** You Are Basic Panties ***

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.
You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.
Men tend to notice you show the “real you” – and they appreciate it.
And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

Kitams, kahit daw bihira ako maligo at maghugas – sexy pa rin ako. Hahaha! Kuntento naman ako sa resulta dahil totoo nga sya!! Na hindi ako naliligo at naghuhugas? Nooooooooo!!! Ang ibig ko sabihin eh totoong para akong basic o simple underwear. Hanubayan! Lech!

Pero mas type ko sana kung ang naging tanong ay: What Kind Of Panties Do You Have? Kasi nga may mga ebidensya akong pwede i-post.

Aktwali, isa to sa mga random facts about me. Mahilig ako mangolekta ng panties. At napag alaman ko na pareho pala kami ng hilig ni co-blogger Brath!. Napag alaman ko ‘to dun sa “one random thing” topic sa forum naming mga WordPress Pinoy Bloggers.

Mga simple at affordable lang ang prices ng mga binibili ko. Ayoko naman nung mga more than hundred of pesos na ang presyo. Di ko na afford yun. Mumurahin lang din ang mga gamit kong salumpepe kasi ginagalis ako pag mamahalin. Bwahaha!

May isang dosena akong t-back panties na iisa ang design pero iba’t ibang kulay. Ewan ko ba, di ko talaga type ang t-back. Nakikiliti pwet ko pag yun ang suot ko. Pakiramdam ko may nakaipit na bulate sa pagitan ng pwet ko. Lolz!

Mas type ko ang mga bikini lang. Lalo na pag cotton. Komportable sa pwet at hindi mainit. Presko sa fekfek kumbaga.

Love ko rin ang mga lacey string bikinis, lalo na yun may mga hiwa sa crotch! Wahihi! Paminsa-minsan kelangan sexy ang mga panloob mo kasi nakakadagdag daw to ng self-confidence chuva!

Gusto ko rin yung mga makukulay o eye-candy na mga panties o mga nakakagulat ang kulay.

Mga lacey boyleg undies

Yung mga see-thru undies minsan trip ko rin.

May mga undies na magkapareho kami ng doter ko, yung may mga cartoons na drawing, ribbons, buttons and etc.

Siempre kelangan may paglalagyan na mga organizer sa mga koleksyons ko

Tama si Brath, yung iba di ko rin naman ginagamit. Natutuwa lang akong tingnan sila.

Nahumaling din ako dati sa pagkolekta ng sleepwears o nighties. Kaso tinigil ko na kasi wala rin naman akong katabi sa gabi na pagpapa-seksihan. Sayang lang ang effort eh wala naman nakaka-appreciate.

Pagdating sa mga underwears, hindi kailangan na maging mamahalin. Ang importante komportable ka sa suot mo at higit sa lahat – malinis. Bow!

“Dai, pakibili mo nga ako ng Advil sa tindahan.”

Umagang-umaga ang sakit na agad ng ulo ko. Habang nagkakape, isip-isip ko, panu nga pala kung walang mga naimbentong gamot gaya ng Advil…mamamatay ba ako na dahil lang sa simpleng headache? Syet! ang jologs ng dahilan!

Ewan ko, pero mas inaalala ko yata ang sasabihin ng ibang tao na baka pagtsitsismisan nila na ang kabaduyan ng ikinamatay ko . . . nang dahil lang kamo sa headache? Ay! walang ka-sosyal sosyal! Walang impact!

Napaisip tuloy ako. Isa sa pinakasigurado dito sa mundo ay ang death ng tao. Pero ano nga kaya talaga ang magiging sanhi ng pagkatigok ko? Anong age kaya? Matitigok kaya akong nanatiling virgin pa rin? Lord, Lord … wag naman po sana.

Naalala ko nga pala may quiz dun sa Blogthings on what age i will die. Hmmmn… aber, mapagtripan nga ulit sagutin mga sumusunod na tanong.

1. How much sleep do you get each night?
   • At least seven hours
   • Less than seven hours – X
2. Do you smoke?
   • Yes
   • No – X
3. Do you drink more than three drinks a week?
   • No – X
   • Yes
4. Do you get at least a half hour of exercise, six days a week?
   • No – X
   • Yes
5. Do you take a multivitamin regularly?
   • No
   • Yes -X (Vitamin E)
6. Are you overweight?
   • Yes
   • No – X
7. Do you floss your teeth daily?
   • Yes
   • No – X (paminsan-minsan lang din mag totbras)
8. Do you like to drive fast?
   • No – X (lech! Wala akong tsikot! But i can drive u crazy.)
   • Yes
9. Have you driven drunk (or ridden with a drunk driver) in the past three years?
   • Yes
   • No – X (ridden atop by a drunk jerk lang. )
10. Your relationship status is:
    • In a happy committed relationship
    • Single or in an unhappy relationship – X
11. Do you eat your fruits and vegetables?
    • Not really
    • Yes -X
12. Do you eat breakfast?
    • Daily – X
    • Now and then
13. Do you suffer from depression?
    • No – X
    • Yes
14. Do you practice safe sex?
    • Not every time – X ( eh wala ngang ka-sex! amp!)
    • Always
15. In general, you’d say your life is:
    • Stressful
    • Pretty low stress – X (petiks lang ako)
16. Do you belong to a volunteer group or church you attend regularly?
    • Yes
    • No -X
17. You consider yourself to be:
    • Lucky -X (uu naman)
    • Unlucky
18. Do you own a dog?
    • No -X
    • Yes
19. Do you practice meditation or yoga?
    • Yes
    • No -X
20. Your household income is:
    • On the low side -X
    • On the average to high side

Eto yung kinalabasan:

You Will Die at Age 76

You’re pretty average when it comes to how you live…
And how you’ll die as well.

Uy, not bad! edad 76 ba kamo ako made-dedo? Kung ganun may 50 years pa pala akong nalalabi para magwala at magpakasasa sa buhay ko! Oist! stop doing the math, readers!

Kaso parang ayaw kong umabot ng 76. Parang mas gusto ko yung kasabihan na “live fast, die young and have a beautiful corpse”! Hehehe!

A ewan! lunes na lunes kung anu-ano naiisip ko. Di nga lang yata headache ‘tong nararamdaman ko ngayon. Nasisiraan na rin yata ako ng head.

• My Quiz Result:

Disappointed ako sa result ng quiz ko na ‘to. Masyadong wholesome! Hmp! Parang hindi ako ‘to. Plastik! Gusto ko sana yung result na … “You’re a total tease! You bitch!” Para astig! lol.

Do Men Think You’re A Tease?
www.blogthings.com

Result:

***What Your Underwear Says About You***

You buy the sexiest underwear you can find, and always have something hot on underneath your clothes.

You’re comfortable in your own skin – and don’t care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

Whoa, Ms. Independent! Your guy digs your modern style…
But he’s sometimes left to wonder if you really like him.
Keep that unique spirit, but show him your love a bit more often.
No worries – you’re light years away from smothering him!

 What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?